The Sunday Mail
Veronica Gwaze and Don Makanyanga
IT is not unusual for families and friends to host memorials on the birthdays of loved ones that would have passed away.
Death does not sever ties between the living and the dead.
Their past birthdays would always be filled with nostalgic memories through which to remember them.
It can be highly emotional for many.
But, a new craze is gripping communities, as wild parties and extravagant celebrations on birthdays of deceased family members are now becoming increasingly popular.
While this practice can be considered to be the norm in Western cultures, where birthday commemorations for departed icons such as Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley are common, in this part of the world, people would ordinarily hold an austere memorial to remember and pray for the spirit of the loved ones.
This seems to be changing.
More and more people are now posthumously celebrating birthdays of family members and friends.
Some of the festivities are so ostentatious that they are even held at exclusive and exquisite venues and resorts.
The well-heeled even customise the event’s cutlery.
“October 10 a legend was born. All-white for Ginimbi (Genius Kadungure). Let’s celebrate his birthday in style. He was your guy, let’s do it for him,” read a flyer that recently circulated on social media platforms.
Some people, including his family, indeed gathered in various towns and cities to pop expensive champagne to celebrate the late Ginimb’s birthday.
The socialite and businessman, famed for his all-white parties, died aged 36 in a horrific car accident that also claimed the lives of three other passengers in November last year.
He would have turned 37 years this year.
Not to be outdone was the Bernard family from Glen Norah.
They celebrated their late patriarch’s 72nd birthday in style a fortnight ago.
Mr Bernard succumbed to Covid-19-related complications.
“This is the first anniversary since we lost him, thus we felt the need to remember him on what should have been his birthday. We have always celebrated him every year and will probably continue doing so,” said his son Malcolm Bernard.
“But, we did not sing the ‘how old are you’ part because he is no longer with us; we just needed time to honour him as family.”
In Sunningdale, the Moyo family gathered for a banquet to celebrate their late mother Sheila’s 60th birthday.
A visit to her grave in Glen Forest was part of the remembrance.
“A lot has been happening in the family and we felt the need to connect with her. We believe her spirit has a lot of influence on our lives,” said the daughter.
“Gone are the days when people wanted to totally disconnect themselves from the dead. Society used to embrace us after the death of our parents, but that is no longer the case. The void makes you want to connect and appreciate your departed loved ones.”
It is part of a trend that is happening around the country.
But, should the birthday of a deceased person be celebrated?
The sad reality is that the events often result in binge drinking and eating without taking into account “rites” to remember the deceased.
Taboo
University of Johannesburg researcher and psychologist Dr John Ringson argues that our social fabric is under threat from foreign cultures.
“Traditionally, people conducted rituals and ceremonies to engage with the dead with the guidance of spirit mediums and the elderly. This was mainly done when there was need for divine protection or to appease the spirit of the dead,” he said.
During these ceremonies, elders would slaughter a beast and brew opaque beer.
The new culture, Dr Ringson says, contradicts African norms and values and could potentially attract bad omens for families.
“People normally respected the dead and whatever ceremonies they conducted were not anything close to celebrating birthdays posthumously . . . such celebrations actually invoke the spirit of the dead in a bad way. Birthdays are meant to celebrate life, thus if done posthumously, they become a taboo,” he said.
It is believed that posthumous birthdays are largely a form of modern entrepreneurship motivated by socio-economic factors, innovation, creativity and circumstantial environment.
House of Refuge Apostle Partson Machengete said there is no connection between the dead and the living, hence the celebrations are wrong and unacceptable to God.
“Some have decided to call these memorial services, which is wrong because there are certain rites that should accompany these services. A memorial service is only conducted once,” argued the clergyman.
“People could be practicing witchcraft under the guise of posthumous birthday celebrations.”
Traditionalist Mbuya Martha Ried is equally disturbed.
“These are modern cultural trends that can cause problems in the future. They can attract generational curses. People should desist from such acts that anger the ancestors,” she said.
Beaven Munyengeterwa, popularly known as Changamire Moyo, who leads PROMETRA Zimbabwe, an organisation that seeks to preserve African traditional medicine, culture and indigenous science, also weighed in.
“It is unheard of in our culture. We cannot celebrate a deceased person’s birthday. It’s disrespectful to our ancestors and beliefs. The public needs not copy everything being done in the West,” he said.
“As far as I am concerned, in our Zimbabwean culture, there is no tribe or religion that does that. This attracts bad luck and curses that we end up blaming other family members for.”
Conversely, sociologist Brian Makunde sees nothing wrong with the new trend.
He believes some myths surrounding the dead are unfounded and border on assumptions constructed around social norms and values.
“People remember their departed loved ones differently, as long as it is done with a good intention, it cannot attract curses. After all, society is always evolving, hence such changes are inevitable.
“While traditional ceremonies still exist, the elderly have lost touch with new trends, they are failing to accept this trendy phenomenon, but there is nothing wrong with it at all,” he said.
