The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi
Bridal writer
Would you feel offended if your parents charged only a few dollars for your lobola?
Recently I was stunned by one of my relatives who is a member of one of the several open-air churches.
He let his daughter go for a paltry $50 and claimed that this is in line with the biblical Jewish principles where the bride price is pegged at 50 shekels.
Today, we discuss the importance of bride price.
Unlike the egg and hen anecdote which confuses those of a small mind as they try to establish what came first, lobola payment always precedes the wedding.
Although people these days tend to place more importance on the wedding ceremony than the occasion of the customary marriage, it is worth noting that the former is a by-product of the latter.
How the bride price is determined varies from family to family.
Serious contenders cannot question how in-laws would have arrived at a particular figure as this can be considered as unforgivable mischief.
Unlike at the tobacco auction floors where market forces determine price, determination of bride price in Zimbabwe pays no respect to the abundance in possible brides available on the market.
No matter how humankind have tried to play down the fact that lobola payment amounts to a business transaction, the fact remains the same – value is embedded on a person and as such she is released at a cost.
History has it that no price could be attached to a human being, hence lobola was only meant to be a token of appreciation in the form of a hoe.
However, issues to do with the bride’s academic level and financial status, or the groom’s family financial status have eroded the meaning and purpose of lobola.
To a certain extent, this has contributed to marital ills with some women being taken as their husbands’ subjects. Some men are often disgruntled by being asked to pay a fortune as bride price.
“What kind of a token is $22 000 plus 12 herd of cattle?”
Recently queried a colleague of mine after having been suffocated by his in-laws. He had to go back twice before his in-laws could give him the green light to wed with their daughter, but he had to pay at least $12 000 first!
Is this what a token should be like or is bride price now turning into a form of human trafficking?
Is the bride price being determined by the value embedded on the bride or from the financial standing of the groom?
However, lobola negotiations can be long and refreshing as they portray the bride as someone of an esteemed character who has brought honour to the family.
At each stage of the ceremony, small amounts are charged until the payment of what is referred to as rusambo in Shona.
Tradition has it that no matter how rich one is, rusambo must not be settled in full at once as this amounts to demeaning the in-laws. Paying the amount in stages is an indication that the bride did not come on a silver platter.
How much is your bride worth?
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