The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi
Bridal Writer
A Wedding is a special occasion for two important people but it is even more important for the bride.
This is why for general wedding etiquette it is not proper for any other person other than the bride to wear a white dress as such an act is seen as competing against the bride.
However, it is more disconcerting when the source of contending attention is a member chosen by the bride and the groom themselves.
Bridesmaids and groomss-men are often close friends and relatives of the bride and groom, and because of that they are trusted to be closer to the very pedestal on which the bride and the groom sit on. A showy member of the bridal party can steal the couple’s thunder from right under their noses.
There are many ways in which showy bridal party members can steal the limelight from the couple. A tactless person will revel in the wrong attention given by equally uncouth guests but more disturbing are bridal party members who will decide to take a glass or two of the wise waters before the event.
While the former can be restrained, the later under the influence of intoxicating substances has the potential to put a big dent on the proceedings.
Below are some of wedding related pitfall brides/grooms should watch out for:
Smartphone(y) photographers
In today’s world of smartphones, social networks and the internet, there exist an abundance of self-anointed journalists and photographers. While there exist a good number of gadgets that can take good pictures, couples still find it logical to hire professional videographers and photographers.
However, this new craze with some wedding guests is simply a lack of etiquette. It compels them to compete with the professionals, crowding the camera space with their smartphones and other not so smart gadgets.
This lack of decorum on the part of some guests can be frustrating to the hired professional who cannot help it but it can even be more costly to the couple who would have paid a fortune for their moments to be captured for the recollection.
Tip: Avoid the pitfall by asking the guests to kindly unplug their gadgets and respect the hired profession on your invitation card or ask the master of ceremonies to remind and deal with the culprits.
Clumsy wedding speech
They do it without intention to hurt and in their book it is the best thing to say. After all, they are given the onus to speak, which means they occupy a special spot in the heart of either the bride or groom. Well, that is exactly the reason why their gaffe is especially upsetting.
On one wedding I attended, all things were going on well until the groom’s uncle picked the microphone, grabbed the attention of everyone before muttering that, “I can’t believe my nephew finally settled for this one”. Here the bride suffer the indignity of lacking a name, and even more, what with the insinuation in the phrase “finally settled”.
On another wedding, the father of the groom went to the podium and with a broad smile said: “I did not like Chipo (the bride) when I first met her.” This captured everyone’s attention and a giggle, people anticipated the transition where the joke would become apparent but alas and no, he went on to start on a totally different subject leaving everyone in suspense.
Words have power. They bring laughter and tears of joy from the hardest of hearts when well-spoken but can also sow seeds of hurt and light fires in the hearts of many. Words must be watched, especially before they are spoken.
Tip: Avoid pitfall by encouraging people to write their speeches. People often put effort to think through something when they have to put pen and paper.
Uninvited guests
Many people in cities comparatively respect the privacy of others but some people especially in rural areas, view weddings as large affairs where any member of the community can join the party.
While it is our nature as Africans to share our delightful moments with others, it is the choice for some uninvited visitors to participate only during meal times that has left some important guests hungry hence denting an otherwise spotless event.
Furthermore, uninvited guests do not feel accountable to anyone, after all they have no one idea whose wedding they have just crashed and do not care what amount of trouble their choices may lead to.
Some of the wedding crushers are known for stuffing into the private bags some smaller items such as spoons, plates and anything else that can fit into their purse.
While talk of this nature may sound contemptuous of others and trivial at best, many have fallen into the pitfall of being carefree but paid the price for such negligence. It may be helpful to cast an eye and an ear to avoid the ruse of uninvited guests.
