The Sunday Mail
Mai Chisamba, I love your column, some of my problems are solved easily by ruminating on your words. Mine is not more of a problem but more of a confession. I feel bad, I feel guilty now more than ever before.
Three years ago I fell in love with a married man knowingly. I will tell you the truth because I want to get it off my chest. These guys have been married for 12 years but they have no children. I took advantage of their situation because the guy was desperate for a child. I used to hide my ID and phone his wife telling her off about her barrenness.
She would listen and cry but she never hung up on me. I went to different prophets and n’angas and some of the rituals I used to do on this guy are unfit for a newspaper of this magnitude. In short all I can say is murume akadya tsvina iyeye. I have a bouncing baby boy and I flash his pictures on WhatsApp profiles, Facebook , laptops, chero pandada.
This guy has this baby also on his WhatsApp profile and says his wife has seen it but never asked, not even once. Let me make my confession, this child is not his. When I gave birth my makorokoto was one of these popular small cars zvanzi handina mwana anofamba nekombi.
I am pampered and given whatever I desire. When I want him to come rushing I just say baby is not well, anomhanya. The wife now knows me, even my contacts, but she has never said anything to me. Last week I called this guy and he was not picking up his phone. The wife answered ndikati ‘ipa muridzi phone yake’.
She humbly said sorry ndafunga kuti ndimhamha. I have done wrong I can write a book about this but I cannot carry on. The tears and humility of this woman are haunting me.
I have tried kudhakwa in order to forget but I cannot. It is like I am seeing people saying no to all this. Ndakamboponjesa mota ye mukadzi uyu ndaiona muparking.
How do I say sorry to this woman I have traumatised so much? How do I tell this guy that this child is not his, he named him after his late father?
How do I give back the resources that I used that I did not deserve? I now want a clean life, where do I start from? Most men are easy prey, how can they be assisted to see sense? I do not want to go back there hakuite kune rima.
I want to be rescued from prostitution, binge drinking and other vices. Please conceal my identity I do not want the world to judge me, just help me.
Thank you for pouring out and crying on my shoulder. Rest assured that I will always conceal the identities of the people who write to me because of the nature of the confidential things they state.
I do not know whether you belong to any religion because you did not say. You reminded me of the story of Saul on his way to Damascus, this is from Christianity.
You said you do not want the world to judge you, I do not think anyone has a right to do so. I will take your letter step by step so that we help each other along the way.
Humiliating anyone for no good reason is unacceptable. In normal circumstances it should be the wife going after you because she has a hold on the husband, not you.
For your information it is evil to lie and tell someone that the child is theirs when you know it is not theirs. Do not play with other people’s emotions.
Abusing the phone as what you have been doing is against the law, you can be brought to book because of that.
You are a woman, his wife is like a fellow sister, why torture her like that? You have no proof that it is the woman who is barren unless you have seen a doctor’s medical report.
Even if she were unable to have children it is not of her own making so do not ridicule her. Despite all you have done I see you have come round and your conscience is killing you. Something great and unusual has happened within you that you have turned over a new leaf, well done and makorokoto.
The way to tell this guy about the child’s paternity is to go for DNA tests.
You used to phone this woman and insult her, this time call and say you are sorry, that is very noble to do especially if it comes from the heart. You say some men are easy prey remember it takes two to tango, if you know they are married have nothing to do with them.
That is assisting indirectly. I also suggest that you engage a counselor who can help you pick up the pieces. The vices that you mentioned are not good for any caring mother, now you have a child to bring up. You also have to be free from sexual diseases for his and your sake.
Tell this guy you want to close this ugly chapter and start on a clean slate. You can also get help from some reputable church members. In my view what you were given as gifts is not criminal. Makorokoto once more for seeing the difference between light and darkness.