The Sunday Mail
Apostle Langton Kanyati – Matrimonial Hub
IN marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a breakdown of physical intimacy.
God does not intend marriage to be boring, lifeless, pleasure less and dull. Many temptations entice husbands and wives to leave each other for excitement and pleasure to be found elsewhere when marriage becomes dull.
Understand that God designed marriage and sanctified it, only within this covenant relationship can we find real love and fulfilment. Do not let God’s best gift to you be wasted on illusions of greener pastures somewhere else. Instead rejoice with your spouse as you give yourselves to God and to each other. Look to each other for life long satisfaction and companionship.
The subject of sex is approached from many angles. Through the years this subject has been suppressed in many circles of conversations. Some parents used to say to children, “you should not talk about that.”
Oddly enough,many churches, and many good moral people think that the facts of sex should be kept secret. With the advent of the Aids pandemic, why choose to remain silent on the subject?
Contrary to the opinion that sex should be a silent subject is the thought that sex should openly exposed.
If you go to movies you can rarely see a film without a sex scene. Afternoon television programmes adopt fornication, adultery and even homosexuality as themes. News stands contain magazines filled with explicit sex. Advertisers use sex to sell their products.
Indeed no subject is more discussed but less understood than sex. People need to put sex in its place. But where is its place? We will examine the subject from a biblical perspective.
Various functions of sex
God designed sex with good functions. He thought of the idea of sex. All of God’s creation has been described either as “good” or “very good”.
Reproduction function
In Genesis 1:27 we find a great comment on the meaning of human sexuality. The Biblical writer made a distinction between man and woman:
“Male and female He created them.”
One of God’s commands recorded in the creation was, “to replenish the earth” vs. 28. So when a husband and wife have sex there is the potential of producing children. God intended sex as a means of producing children. But this was not the only purpose for the sexual activity of a husband and wife. It is not a social activity between a boy and a girl or unmarried males and females.
Sex ordained to provide pleasure
Intimacy in marriage was created for personal pleasure not just for procreation. The song of Solomon teaches well what the Bible says of a husband and wife engaging in sex. A wife can make her husband physically and emotionally fulfilled by the sex act. And likewise, the husband can make his wife extremely happy with the sex act. Sex was not intended as an experience to be endured but moments to be greatly enjoyed.
Sex has obvious failures
Like every other gift of God, human beings have distorted the gift of sex. The human race has taken a perfectly beautiful act and corrupted it. When we act outside of God’s designated programme, we destroy that which God has intended for our good.
Sex is a gift God gives to married couples for their mutual enjoyment. Real happiness comes when we decide to find pleasure in the relationship God has given or will give us. And to commit ourselves to making it pleasurable for our spouse. Know if you are still single that God knows and cares for you.
Be patient and do not resent this timing and carelessly pursue sexual pleasure without his blessing.
Sexual immorality of any kind is dangerous as it destroys family life, degrades human beings and turns them into objects and it erodes a person’s ability to love. Today’s emphasis on individual freedom is misguided. Freedom to live against the plan and purpose of God is dangerous.
God created marriage for the enjoyment and pronounced it good. Sex without marriage is cheap. It cannot compare with the joy of giving yourself completely to the one who is totally committed to you.
Sex failures happen outside the relationship of marriage.
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband.” (1 Cor 7:1-2)
In the above scripture, we see Paul writing to the Church expounding God’s standard concerning sex, prohibiting sexual activity outside the marriage covenant.
Some sex failures happen within the relationship of marriage.
The Lord intended that sex be mutually enjoyed. Different malpractices can come into marriage to harm its function. For example, when one of the partners wants sex for selfish purposes there is failure. In this instance the partner is only concerned about his or her satisfaction without considering the spouse’s satisfaction.
Also when sex is practical for only one of the married partners there is failure. Sex in a marriage covenant is not sin. Each partner must think about the other and put sex to its practical purpose.
Sex has a godly fulfilment
In order to put sex in its right perspective, we need to see the great fulfilments in the sex experience.
Only in a marriage relationship can sex give genuine happiness.
Many psychologists testify of the great guilt which premarital and extra marital sex brings.
Sex is more than a biological happening. It is the utmost in intimacy, and sexual happiness comes primarily in the marriage relationship. When the attitude toward sex is loose, endless illicit sex brings about emptiness, frustration, boredom and despair.
It is important to understand that the sex act itself is a language. It is one spouse saying to the other, “I love you and I desperately want to make you happy.” It is a mutual enterprise.
This message is an extract from Apostle L.C. Kanyati’s readily available book entitled “Building a Great Home”.
Apostle Langton C Kanyati is the founder and president of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited Ministries. Email:[email protected]; WhatsApp : 0772 987 844.
