The Sunday Mail
Vukani Madoda The Sharp Shooter
He can be a pain at times, a thorn in the flesh and a source of discomfort. But this time, on a balance of improbabilities, he chose his words with a bit of tact. I mean this non-conformist maverick called Temba Mliswa. Non-conformist because he has puzzlingly refused the Gamatox tag he so easily fits into and has instead buried his dagger into the heart of the Joice Mujuru-led putschist cabal.
For some time until last week, I thought Temba was driven by a myopic and narrow-minded objective to fight Zanu-PF at all costs —but it turns out he has wittingly or unwittingly given Gamatox a sucker punch instead.
I remember warning that the toothless Rugare Gumbo, who was trying to get rid of so-called mafikizolos in Zanu-PF, was ironically being spurred on by a reckless liability who is a vivid personification of a preposterous mafikizolo in the mould of Temba.
Unfortunately for Gamatox, they did not know that they had a fixed liability within their unstable ranks.
The focus of Temba’s agenda is clearly espoused by two questions he posed to Gamatox: “what are you bringing to the table and which institution do you belong to?”
This direct examination strikes right at the heart of Mujuru and her disillusioned disciples.
Clearly, the name Gamatox is not enough to demand space in the political landscape of this country. Merely, saying I am Mujuru or Gamatox is an air pie at the political dinner table.
Those who feed on it will remain hungry and will go to bed with rumbling tummies.
Temba gave a few lessons on opposition politics to Gamatox which brutally exposed the latter to the naivety of their campaign.
He even disregarded his uncle Didymus, the Gamatox title brainchild, essentially saying this collection of washed-up politicians was putting the cart before the horse by talking of coalitions when they did not even have a brand of their own.
President Mugabe nonchalantly brushed the whole joke aside, saying he would never waste his precious fist striking Mujuru’s jaws and would rather continue to use his jaws to chew peanuts – shaya dzangu regai dzitsenge nzungu zvakanaka.
And yet Gamatox does not even bring peanuts to the table!
Yes Temba is that mafikizolo that Gamatox failed to keep chained, now he is spouting heresies. He is reincarnating his summer dream of a “Bhuru Romusha” which he day-dreamt of on his campaign posters in the futile by-election challenge against Cde Keith Guzha.
In his naivety, he failed to realise that in a single breathe he was both proclaiming the demise of Gamatox and the stillbirth of a mooted opposition coalition to stand against Zanu-PF in 2018.
Temba, in his gullibility, forgot that the opposition is pathetically fragmented and is reluctantly peddling the idea of a coalition which is yet without form, structure or substance; as he declared a serial bed-hopper called Morgan as its leader.
Besides the sexpacades, any politician worth his salt knows Tsvangirai is a hard sell because he is a dimwit.
Effectively, in one swoop Temba buried both the Gamatox cabal and the opposition coalition.
Here is a lone ranger, a sorry soul, who lost in Hurungwe West but who Morgan and friends embrace in the hope that he can deliver a national election.
The usually spiteful Rugare Gumbo was caught off-guard and could only mumble that Temba had a “different agenda”.
Why does he have a different agenda now Madyirapazhe? Is he not the same mafikizolo you used to walk hand-in-glove with not so long ago when you were Zanu-PF spokesperson and you openly supported this boy while dismissing everyone else as hallucinating and fictitious?
Did you not support him in the by-elections in Hurungwe West? So what happened? How come he now has a different agenda?
Let me tell you what happened. Temba got sick and tired of being politically homeless, pining for a People First outfit that has no form, no structure, no congress and only an imagined following.
And as a political orphan he has no allegiances. So Morgan beware!
We all know he will not find peace in the house of Eliza and very soon in the near future he will return to Zanu-PF, cap in hand and that long tail in between his legs, begging for readmission.
For now, however, we are impressed by the way he has destroyed the opposition from within.
By the way Madyirapazhe, you will continue to eat from outside the political dining room if you remain with nothing on the table.
Even bad rubbish like Jabulani Sibanda will desert you because he too seems to be warming up to the Tsvangirai-led MDC of late.
As it stands, Gamatox is headed for the demise for which it has always been destined.
At least they give the printing and publishing industry some dollars when they go and launch so-called manifestos. But that is about the sum of their contribution to Zimbabwe.
Remember, even the Temba Mliswas, of all political nonentities, now consider you the putschist cabal that you have always been because you have nothing on the table, nothing in the constituencies, nothing in Parliament and nothing for the future.