The Sunday Mail
Wife hid promotion from me
THANK you amai for your column in The Sunday Mail. I follow it religiously, as I find it to be life-changing. I am a 27-year-old guy. I am married and a father of one.
My wife is gainfully employed and we have been managing our budget together. We are working towards buying our own home.
My wife was promoted at work and her salary was increased, but I was not made aware of the development.
I only found out when I came across some of the documents she left unattended. My fears now are what else is she hiding from me? I am so disappointed in her.
Response
Hello writer. Thank you for being such a big fan of the column and making use of the advice whenever possible. You are right to be angry.
Your wife withheld something big from you, which is not right especially when you firmly adhere to the rules of a combined budget.
Inform her that you came across this information by accident and let her know how hurt you are. I hope by all accounts this really was an accident, otherwise she may come down hard on you for violating her privacy.
I think she did it because she wanted to keep some money on the side, perhaps for a rainy day or another reason.
Whatever the case may be, she owes you an apology and must try to be transparent going forward.
I think if you approach it this way, she will be remorseful and hopefully repent from this kind of behaviour.
Keep working towards acquiring your own property. That is a good goal. I wish you all the best.
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Wrongfully accused my sister
I am a 30-year-old woman and I have a set of twin boys. My younger sister frequents our house to help me look after the kids. One weekend she came and my phone went missing. The phone was still new. I asked her if she had taken it, to which she said no.
When I asked the maid, she said my sister had taken it.
My husband, in a fit of rage, sent my sister packing and that was that. My parents told me they would compensate the phone regardless of what had happened. Recently, my maid said she came across the phone when she was cleaning and gave it to me.
I think she may have had it all along. How do I undo what I did?
I am so embarrassed. I apologised via text to both my parents and sister, who both did not reply.
Response
I read your letter and all I can say is blood is thicker than water. Why did you not believe her? You were wrong to trust your maid over your sister, especially if you did not have a smoking gun.
The phone could have been taken by the maid as you assume or you could have genuinely misplaced it.
Either way, you and your hubby overreacted.
You cannot apologise over text. Go and visit your parents and sister, and express your regret over what transpired. A slice of humble pie will do you good. Inasmuch as your parents and sister were hurt, you are still family at the end of the day.
If you show how much you want things to go back to the way they were, I think they will forgive you.
After all, it is just a phone. I also did research on ways to locate your phone remotely, remote locking and tracking. I think you should too.
It may prove to be of immense value in the future. As for the maid, she lacks character.
It is up to you to either forgive her or send her packing for the part she played in all of this. If need be, get another close relative involved to help you rebuild this bridge. It shall be well.
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Must I make the first move?
I am a young girl aged 19 and I have a crush on this guy from my neighbourhood. He is 20 and everyone thinks we are dating. We are very good companions. I want to tell him how I really feel about him. However, I am scared.
Traditionally women are not supposed to make the first move. Do you think he will reject or feel any less of me if I do? Please help amai. I do not want to feel like this forever.
Response
I read your communication and all I can say is fortune favours the bold. Do not let traditional norms get in the way of a good thing.
Tell him how you feel and if he feels the same way, that is good. If not, you will not live with regrets any longer. I would, however, advise that you take things slow. You are young and getting into the world of romance. Keep it innocent. Try and build on it.
You have all the time in the world. I like your confidence. My sixth sense tells me that this love shall be requited.
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