Rats cannot think beyond peanuts

06 Dec, 2020 - 00:12 0 Views
Rats cannot think beyond peanuts

The Sunday Mail

AROUND this time in 2018, witty cynics, the majority of whom have happily found a convenient playground on social media platforms, were whining and whingeing that shortages of Coca-Cola — which is a generic name in this part of the world for any type of fizzy drinks — were likely to make the festive season the gloomiest it had ever been since colonial Rhodesia.

To them, the enduring symbol of material well-being and successful festivities hinges on downing these sweet beverages.

When they talk about people who have the mindset of a rat, they would be talking precisely about people who have an obsessively carnal disposition that is driven by short-term pleasurable indulgences.

This explains why ever since rats became nuisance pests, the mousetrap has not been developed beyond that rudimentary wire-and-metal contraption.

One is always assured that no matter the circumstances, rats will inexorably fall for the mousetrap.

Clearly, therefore, there is definitely no need for any sophisticated traps.

You see, for rats, peanuts and peanut butter is the be-all and end-all of their existence.

Colonialists even tried this trick by trying to hoodwink sweet-toothed natives out of their valuable possessions by using sugar to worm themselves into their good graces. Kikikiki.

On December 23, 2018, an excitable David Coltart, treasurer of the MDC-A, tweeted: “No Coca-Cola in Zimbabwe this Christmas #Second Republic. #Delta shuts soft drink plants (sic).”

It seemingly became an anthem.

“What are you bragging about my friend, ever heard of a country in deep crisis that it runs out of Coca-Cola? If not come to Zimbabwe, we are no longer looking for greatness all we want is better only (sic),” tweeted @frostgee on December 27, 2018.

Well, at the time, our teapot-shaped Republic was in the early stages of a painful upheaval of reforms that were, in part, meant to sterilise the ever-growing stock of electronic money that had been printed by the former administration.

What myopic sceptics did not realise was that this was part of a multi-stage process to repair a heavily afflicted economy.

All that was needed was patience.

Fast-forward to December 2020, the cynics will be happy to know that their favourite beverages have not only become plentiful and ubiquitous that they have become an eyesore, but their prices are now obscenely low as well.

Coltart and friends can now drink their fizzy drinks to their heart’s content.

In the village, patience is a virtue and value that is handy for the hunter, gatherer, fisher and farmer

Marathon

In the village, patience is a virtue and value that is handy for the hunter, gatherer, fisher and farmer.

Stalking prey and waiting to make that kill-shot; training eyes for hours on end on that sinker to reel in the hooked fish at the opportune time; and expectantly waiting for the heavens to open up for life-giving rains all require extraordinary virtue.

 “Be patient then my brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You, too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!” counsels James 5:7-9.

It is a lesson that seemed to have been lost on young Nelson Chamisa when he used MDC founder Morgan Tsvangira’s funeral wake in February 2018 to usurp power in the opposition party, which naturally invited the ignominy of an adverse court ruling that he now has to unhappily live with like an unwanted tumour.

What the country is beginning to harvest are fruits of painstaking sacrifice and patience over the past two years.

It was not easy.

The roller-coaster ride tested patience to the limit.

Many, however, could not have been expected to make out exactly what was happening.

It is typical of any construction site: The debris, mud and inchoate or unshapely structures make it increasingly difficult to fathom the envisaged resultant structure.

It is only when the structure begins to take shape that onlookers become awed.

Reform is a process, and not an event; it is a marathon, and not a sprint.

Bishop Lazi always tells folks that when people of consequence speak, it is wise to listen intently and hang on to every word.

Unfortunately, many hear but do not listen, look but do not see and learn but do not understand.

When Vice President Constantino Chiwenga was sworn in on August 30, 2018, he delivered a poignant message that encapsulated what the new political administration was all about.

“The elections are behind us and what remains is now for us to implement with speed what we went around telling the electorate we intended to do within this term, which started with the inauguration of the President (Emmerson Mnangagwa).

“Those areas are in terms of our economy and in terms of the social aspects to improve the living standards of our people. That is what we will be doing. The last time we hit the ground running, here it will be Pheidippides.” 

It would be understandable that many missed the full message when he referred to Pheidippides.

As legend would have it, this Greek legend reportedly raced from Athens to Sparta to persuade the Spartan troops to help Athenians fight off an invasion from the Persians.

After the combined troops won the key battle of Marathon, Pheidippides was sent to Athens to announce news of the momentous victory, after which he died from exhaustion.

This, we are told, is the genesis of what we call the marathon today.

But, research shows that this fellow was no ordinary Greek.

In fact, he was part of the hemerodromos — Greek military men known as day-long runners — who used to cover incredibly long distances on foot usually over every type of terrain to their intended destination.

They didn’t rest before delivering their message.

Similarly, modern-day professional marathon runners necessarily need mental fortitude, endurance and stamina.

Pulling away

Bishop Lazi is always fascinated by the way athletes — mainly Kenyans and Ethiopians — execute their races by biding their time, maintaining their stride and going in for the kill at the crucial moment.

It is an enviable skill.

The secret to marathon running is not breaking your stride.

It is exactly what President ED has begun to do after successfully stabilising the economy.

He is beginning to pull away, while the ungainly pace of cynics struggling to keep up is becoming evident.

It is not surprising that they now want to talk.

You should see how the venom has been neutralised on social media platforms as the good news continues to relentlessly roll in.

A bullish industry is beginning to believe again as it becomes more confident of the business environment, major infrastructure projects are beginning apace and investment deals that were previously trivialised are gradually materialising.

The latest has been the US$300 million deal to upgrade and modernise Beitbridge Border Post, which is in line with the overriding transformative agenda of the Second Republic.

There are construction projects — roads, dams, schools, clinics, et cetera — wherever one cares to look, notwithstanding sanctions and international finance institutions that are sitting on the fence.

I bet the difference between the renewed ruling party, which is leading the Second Republic, and the decaying opposition, which is now at sixes and sevens, is becoming clear.

You see, in an efficient system, politics is like milk, as cream always rises to the top, but in an inefficient system, politics is like a sewer, where the foulest and filthiest of scum rises to the top.

2021 is promising.

Bishop out!

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