The Sunday Mail
Occasionally, I get messages from WhatsApp football groups leaked to my inbox.
Always, I get amused by how people throw shade at each other, all in a battle to be called the one who “talks” football better.
The greatest honour one can get from us fellow fans is to be knighted someone “anotaura bhora” — someone who knows football very well.
And there is no limit to what people can do in pursuit of this imagined crown.
Telephone conversations with players are recorded, screenshots forwarded regularly and football journalists get new primary school classmates.
So there I was the other day trolling Facebook and came across a post from Alois Bunjira.
Bunj — as Mark Pozzo ridiculously calls him — hadn’t posted something about his gym workout with chicken weights or his grand entrance into the ZiFM studio.
The former Caps United man had posted about the Warriors “Legends” squad that is set to play the Barcelona “Legends” in Harare this afternoon.
And the biggest talking point in the comments was that Bunjira was not there. Is he not a legend?
“What makes a legend? So Sadomba is and Alois GQ Bunjira, Murisa are not?” asked someone by the handle Bee Tee.
Then Malvern Matemasango highlighted the biggest problem we have in this country.
“George Shaya, Moses Chunga, Peter Ndlovu (and) Freddie Mkwesha are legends! The rest are former players, some exceptionally good and others decent. The term ‘legend’ shouldn’t be misused and abused!” he posted.
Away from the hullabaloo about whether or not Edward Sadomba should have made the squad ahead of Bunjira and Stewart Murisa, the other issue that trended was having Walter Magaya as the Warriors Legends’ chief liason officer.
Zifa can always be trusted with pulling shockers as frequently as someone drunk pees.
However, this one involving a whole man of God — who attracted a claimed half-a-million people to his Night of Turnaround — is legendary even by the soccer governing body’s lowly standards.
Look, Yours Truly can see where Zifa are coming from.
Magaya has what they badly need that – money and a hotel.
However, courting him should have some level of sophistication, not this comical act of appointing the Yadah Stars owner to a funny post.
I know Papa has been a victim of my pen before but surely the guy deserves better than being a chief liason officer of a social soccer team.
Why not make him the Under-17 patron or something high-sounding but relevant?
As people chewed and chewed into the Magaya issue on Facebook the comment that tickled me the most was from James Mayosvi on Shagare’s DeMbare DotComs.
“Magaya ndakamumaka panhau dzechitendero. . .bt kana kurikubhora ndinomubigger…cos anosponsor. . .he is much better pane vese varikuisa manegative comments towards him. . .vazhinji chatinogona kuhukura chete. (I disagree with Magaya on religious issues but salute him when it comes to sponsoring football. He is much better than most of us who just criticise.)”
Meanwhile, former Warriors skipper Willard Katsande was hit by brickbats after his best wishes message to Bafana Bafana ahead our neighbour’s Friday World Cup qualifier against Senegal.
“We need to start from the front foot tomorrow so that we can beat Senegal, Good luck Bafana Bafana, we need this win at all costs. Let’s support Bafana,” tweeted @WillardKatsande
“Khosi you deserted Zifa at the time they needed you the most. You pulled a SERERO on that National team and for that I have something against you,” replied one “Phil Coutinho”.
Bernie M then reminded Katsande that it’s “Bafana playing and not Zim”.
As Yours Truly makes his way out, please be reminded that there is a world of difference between a legend and a former football player. Be guided accordingly.
Sir exits the scene!
Sir is a social media football commentator. Feedback [email protected]