The Sunday Mail
WAS that a Mawashi Geri (roundhouse kick), a Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku (tornado kick) or a Hiza Geri (knee strike?) Whatever kick it was, it sent poor Gift Nyandoro to the tarmac and in true Van Damme style, Jealousy Mawarire disappeared into thin air. That’s thenews from Queen Bee’s karate club.
Rugare vanhu vamwari. You see kuti your Bishop knows his martial arts. Tinorova mahuu, haa, takapfeka magarments.
Anyway, this sermon is going to be short because as they say a picture can say a thousand words. But look munhu akazvamburwa. Jambanja pahotera style. Kwanzi Jealousy aitoda kusvina chaiko. Can you imagine he was doing all that madam vakatarisa? Ummmm, kushaya nyadzi kwacho.
This sermon may not mean anything to some people so let me recap what happened. News from Queen Bee’s karate club is that Joice Mujuru’s spokesperson Gift Nyandoro was clobbered outside a local hotel by Jealousy Mawarire, the party’s spokesperson.
This followed a misunderstanding after Nyandoro embarrassed Mawarire over his statement which seemed to portray Tsvangirai as some “power drunk” opposition leader.
Mawarire, who for some strange and shocking reasons, overestimate himself took a leaf from Donald Trump who believes that; “When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough.” I still think it was a Mawashi Geri that left Nyandoro lights out.
James 4 vs 1-3 yobvunza ichiti: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
Bishop Lazarus vopindura vachiti Baba, vana vairwira iyo coalition isati yatombovapo. Nyandoro has already secured some top post in Mujuru’s project and he is convinced that when the mooted opposition finally materialises, he will be in a position to get a powerful post. On the other hand, Mawarire is seeing that arikuvharirwa panze and has failed to secure a top post in Mujuru’s project. Mawarire knows that if the coalition materialises, he will become a nonentity, kapuracha zvake.
So for Mawarire, there is only one option — kuzora madhaka chicoalition chacho. Sort of kana ini ndashaya, ngatishaye tese. Or maybe Mawarire took a leaf from Mike Tyson who once said: “When I fight someone, I want to break his will. I want to take his manhood. I want to rip his heart and show it to him.” It looks like Mawarire wanted to rip Nyandoro’s manhood and shove it down his mouth.
Why can’t these karate kids give Joice time to breath? Can’t they see she is overwhelmed already? Now Joice is forced to decide who between the two she should side with. When she visited Nyandoro, reports say Mawarire’s fate was sealed.
Very soon, Mawarire will be doing what he knows best. Kwete zvepolitics izvi. That’s not his area. Mawarire ndewe kukonzeresa.
But Mawarire chine hasha wena. He clobbered Nyandoro who was in the midst of kuchema amai. Kwanzi usaite muromo mai vafa ndinokukazha mai vari mumortuary! So insensitive this Mawarire bully. Ko kumira munhu otanga apedza kuchema amai?
Anyway, let me leave pictures to show you mabasa aMawarire.
Bishop is out!