Mudzimba naMai Chisamba: ‘Can’t help thinking I’m cursed’

MUDZIMBA WITH MAI CHISAMBA

Can’t help thinking I’m cursed

Ndinotevedza column yenyu zvakanyanya ndibatsirewo. Vese vakomana vandinodanana navo hameno kuti vanofanana fanana maitiro avo sei.

Handizive kuti wangu munyama here, Mai Chisamba, handisati ndambodanana nemunhu anondiitirawo madanha, kunditengerawo birthday card chairo kana Christmas present chaiyo. If l don’t Whatsapp or phone inenge ichingori zii zii. Nguva zhinji ndini ndinototi let’s meet or let’s go out for a date, please don’t get me wrong ndiri munhu akatsiga, anoshanda zve anofambirana nenguva.

Ndakambotaura natete vangu vakati ruoko rwako, saka zvinozodii nhai veduwe?
 

Mai Chisamba’s RESPONSE
I hear you and l feel so sorry for you. Kudiwa chaiko kunotekenyedza, it’s a wonderful feeling. I hope mhinduro yangu haikurwadze semunhu ari kutorwadziwa kare. Mazuvano totenda nenyaya ye equality, zvasiyana nenguva yechinyakare paingotarisirwa mukomana kuita zvose. I hope you understand kuti when you take someone out to lunch or dinner uri iwe wakoka then it means it’s on you ndiwe unobhadhara.

Tarisiro ndeyekuti unokoka wakatarisa yako homwe, mukokwa kana atozoda angabatsire hake kwete kuti he is duty bound to do so.  Muongororo tinoona kuchine vashoma vasingakoshese mazuva awataura aya, saka birthday, Christmas kana Valentine’s Day hairevi chinhu kwavari. Vanhu vakadai vanoda kupiwa kachiyedza.

Iwe muitire kuti azive kuti it’s very important to you. Dzimwe nguvawo vamwe vanofunga kuti regai aite nekuti anazvo. Most of these things are done to show love and appreciation, it must not be taken for granted. Nhaiwe iniwo handinzwisise kana uchiti hautumirwe whatsapp, haufonerwe haambotiwo let’s go out, saka wakamirirei?

Kana vavakidzani vaine ukama wekuitirana izvi what more lovebirds, aiwa vasikana tipei maserious sekutaura kwenyu vadiki. Chenjera kuzonzi we are just good friends iwe wapedza mari and time uchiti we are in love. Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti mubvunze kuti anokudawo here sezvauri kuita. If you don’t communicate you will be stressed for nothing. Talk to him and keep me posted.

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Is he my son?
Congratulations for the new platform! I sympathise with the writer whose wife’s relatives and friends come to visit and take his space and food.

It is unfortunate that some people will always regard a mukwasha’s house as a supermarket where they would enter, grab things and expect to leave without paying a cent! A son-in-law should be treated with respect.
After all he initiated that ambuya should be brought to town for treatment. The wife and her relatives must be reasonable by transferring mother to another relative’s house where mukwasha could continue assisting by paying for her medication and possibly food.

Meanwhile, Mai Chisamba, I am currently under shock as a woman that I slept with when I was lodging at her father’s house in the 70s only came forward recently to tell me that she fell pregnant that time and yet she failed to tell me claiming that she was afraid of her parents.

She tells me the son is now 37 and married with two children. I am still to meet up with him to ascertain if he really resembles me. The woman wants DNA tests, but my fear is that one of her children is a doctor and the results could be “cooked”.

Mai Chisamba’s RESPONSE
Thank you very much for your sound contribution and for following our platform. I agree mukwasha should be treated with respect. Ngatiendei panyaya yako, I am just as shocked as you are to say the least, munhu anoita pamuviri panoonekwa pachikura ogozvara mwana mupenyu anoonekwazve achikura asi oti akatya kutaurira vabereki muridzi wemimba nemwana, aiwaka akuperevera kufunga. Ma DNA tests chishwaturo anotaura chokwadi.

Iwe chisarudza machiremba aunoda kushanda nawo, you can have them done wherever you want in America or in Honolulu, homwe yako chete. Panyaya iyi ini ndinoti mai vakakanganisira mwana wavo, 37 years asingazive baba vake, that’s not fair. Vakatyora kodzero yemwana uyu because one’s ID is like one’s second life.

You need to bond with him and his family asi pada pave nematambudzuko nekuti mukuroorana nekuroorwa pane vasinei nekudanana kwenyu kwekuma 70s. Kurudziro yangu ndeye kuti mukugadzirisa izvi ngazvirege kuvhiringa mukadzi wenyu imi kana kuti murume akaroora amai ava. Good luck.

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Hubby is secretive about his salary
Nyaya yemari yanetsa kumba kwangu Mai Chisamba, murume wangu haaite zvachose. Takaroorana nemurume wangu tine vana vatatu two girls and a boy asi handizive mari yaakutambira. Ndikabvunza mari anoti nyorai zvinodiwa otenga iye. Kuronga zveupenyu zvinonetsa kana usingazive budget renyu.

Kare taironga zvakanaka pamwechete asi pane imwe hanzvadzi yangu yakazobvotomoka vari kudoro nemurume wangu akataura kuti ini ndine kasavings kandinoitira mai vangu every month. This did not go down well with my husband but it’s very little mufunge. I will be honest with you mari yacho is not from my salary, tumaround twatinoita kubasa isu madzimai. Handina kupihwa nguva yekutsanangura, akangotsamwa nemari yake. Iwanano yekupi yekuti unoita zvinhu zvekutengerwa kunge mwana wechikoro?

Mai Chisamba’s RESPONSE
Muwanano hamuna ane chake zvese ndezvenyu muri vaviri. I know that we don’t pay for sin in the same coin, asi pahuviri hwenyu hapana ari kugona. Iwe ndiwe wakatangisa hondo, wakaitirei kasavings kamai nerweseri? Don’t begrudge your brother, maybe he was appreciating you and your husband for helping out. Sei uri kuti akabvotomoka?

Munoziva dzimwe nguva munoita matambudziko ekukoka mega. Iwe ungadai wakatanga waonesana nemurume wako kuti kondikaitira mai izvi nechikonzero ichi zvinodini? Pamwe waitonzi wedzera mari pamwe maibva maitirawo naamwene vako kana kungoita zvinokurerukirai.

You should be transparent in whatever you do in your marriage. Zvakanakisa kubatsira asi dzimwe nguva zvinoita kunge pane huipi nechitsotsi ipo pasina. Chimwe chitendero chinoti munhu asingavimbike nezvidiki haagonezve kuvimbika nezvikuru. Apologise to your husband and map your way forward. It seems he has lost trust in you and that’s terrible. It’s very noble to say sorry, I know it’s not easy but for goodness sake take the bull by its horns and do it. Good luck.
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Muvakidzana Anoda Kutandara
Muvakidzani wangu anoda kutandara zvakanyanya. Tiri vana mai vechidiki in our early 30s, tose hatishande. Vana baba vakangobuda anobva auya kumba kwangu, akauya haafunge kudzokera. Ndomuudza seiko, ari kundikanganisa marongero epamba pangu. I have nothing against her but anoda hanging out too much.

Nhamo yangu ndeyekuti handichawane quality time with my husband paweekend, ndinenge ndave kuita mabasa andakatadza kuita during the week. Handidi kumurwadzisa, ndibatsirewo ndomuudza seiko?

Mai Chisamba’s RESPONSE
Thank you so much for writing in. Apa hapana nyaya shamwari, what you need to do is to weigh your options. Wanano ndihwo hupenyu hwako, ndicho chinhu chawakaitira mhiko kuti ‘until death do us apart’ hapana paungazvienzanise nematambudziko emumaraini. Aah wakushaya nguva nebetter half yako in order to please a neighbor, newewo wakurasika. Hongu apo neapo vanhu vanotandadzana kwete zvekutadzisana kuita mabasa.

Wati mose muri vaviri hamushandi, no that’s not true you are fulltime housewives, ibasa rakazvikwanira. Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti usadya huroyi nekunyara, akauya muudze kuti une basa unozomudaidza kana wasununguka. If she does not understand this then you just carry on with your work, anoenda ega kana kuti asikana ngatisarudzei zuva rimwe chete pasvondo ratinogona kungomwa tea tese kuitira kuti tironge mabasa edu. Chokwadi chakangonaka, chinenge mukaka usingarungwe. Ndinokushuwira rombo rakanaka mukuita izvi.