The Sunday Mail
Women & Leadership
Maggie Mzumara
I BET many of the males in our lives, families, workplaces and communities are aware of the just started 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence (GBV), running from November 25 to December 10. Some of the disinterested males could be saying: “Here we go again, women have started making their usual noises.” Some men will even accuse women of being crybabies or attention seekers.
It is worth noting that there are some men who have never been arrested for GBV. Some men seemingly think that the 16 Days of Activism have got nothing to do with them. Well, my brother, Mr CEO, Mr Director, Mr Editor, Manager, Supervisor, Foreman, Male Workmate, Father and yes Mr Baby Daddy too, do I have news for you! Take a minute to consider this seriously. This campaign might have more to do with you than you realise. It is not just about the obvious violence which you have been careful to avoid, but it is also about those things you consider minor, those acts you do unconsciously or as a habit or those that are ‘accepted’ as norm.
Well, here is the thing, my brother:
If you have ever sidelined a woman in your home, community, at church, or at work meeting; if you have ever belittled a woman or her opinion and caused her in any way to be relegated to the periphery of the main and critical activities of what is central and core at your business or in the office or organisation;
If you have ever looked at a woman (e.g. workmate, intern, subordinate, personal assistant, secretary etc.) or treated her as nothing more than an object of sexual desire;
If you have failed to support the woman you have a child or children with, and denied her maintenance or alimony;
If you are in the habit of denying your wife access to money or other economic resources; or even prevent her, against her choice, from being employed or associating with her friends or family;
If you coerce her to do anything, including even forcing her to be intimate with you against her wishes, yes even if she is your wife, that is marital rape;
If as a political leader or any other boss you have mischievously pitted one woman against another;
If you have ever used the derogatory H-word (‘hure’) insult word against a woman;
If you have taken advantage of that intern or subordinate at work and engaged in intimate relations with her in obviously skewed power imbalance scenarios, leaving her no choice but to go along with it;
If you have ever trolled a woman on social media for whatever reason but mostly on the basis that you think and believe that just because she is a woman therefore is easy prey;
If you have ever made a woman colleague at work or elsewhere feel uncomfortable by some unwelcome advances or your off-colour comments, or sexually harassed her in any way;
If you have ever participated in, caused, facilitated a child marriage; or perpetrated or organised an intimate relationship with an under-age girl;
And, and, and …the list goes on; (and here I deliberately mention not the obvious perpetrations but the ones often overlooked or ignored, the obvious ones have been highlighted elsewhere plenty of times). If you have ever, my brother, done any of the above and more, then this campaign is exactly for people like you.
This message and campaign of activism against violence against women concerns you. Chances are quite high that you are guilty of misogyny.
What is that, you ask? Misogyny is the hatred or and contempt for or prejudice against women or girls. Misogyny enforces sexism by punishing those who reject an inferior status for women and reward those who accept it.
Misogyny plays out in numerous ways including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, andocentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling women, disenfranchisement of women, violence against women and sexual objectification, amongst several other ways.
Let me bring more understanding and appreciation of matters under discussion by explaining a few of the terms mentioned above.
Male privilege: the system which avails advantages or rights to men solely on the basis that they are men.
Sexual objectification: the act of treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity
Andocentrism: the practice of consciously or unconsciously placing a masculine point of view at the centre of one’s worldview, culture, history thereby marginalising femininity.
Gender-based violence: violence involving men and women in which the female is, more often than not, the victim and is which is derived from unequal power relationships between men and women. Violence is directed against a woman because she is a woman or affects women disproportionately. It includes but is not limited to physical, sexual and psychological harm (including intimidation suffering coercion, and/or deprivation of liberty within the family, community, workplace etc.
Violence against women: any public or private act of gender-based violence that results in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats such as acts of coercion, or arbitrary deprivation of liberty.
Social exclusion: this is the process by which individuals are blocked from, or denied access to various rights, opportunities and resources that are normally available to members of a different group.
The outcome of social exclusion is that affected individuals or communities are prevented from participating fully in the economic, social and political life of the society in which they live or company at which they work, or organisation they are a part of.
◆ Maggie Mzumara is a leadership, communication and media strategist as well as corporate trainer, who offers group trainings as well as one on one coaching in various areas of expertise. She advocates women leadership and is founder of Success in Stilettos (SiS) Seminar Series, a leadership development platform for women. Contact her on [email protected] or follow on Twitter @magsmzumara
