The Sunday Mail
Dear Mai Chisamba, I hope I find you well. I have been told all my life that my parents died when I was two years old. My mainini the one who comes after my mother was tasked to look after me.
She was very good to me even though I sometimes wished my parents were still alive. I keep my mother’s picture in my bag all the time, she really resembled my mainini.
Two years ago babamudiki tried to rape me. I do not want to dwell too much on this issue because it breaks my heart, it was handled by the police. To my surprise my aunt seemed to sympathise with her husband but I kept my cool.
While this story was doing the rounds in my community, my mainini’s best friend told her kids a shocking secret. They told me that mainini was actually my biological mother.
She had made up the story about me when she started dating babamudiki so she would seem more appealing to him. My heart skipped a bit. Now I am left wondering if this is true or not, is she really my mother?
All those times she saw me yearn for a mother when she has been there all along count for nothing. How can a loving mother do that to her child? Comparatively speaking, she loves her husband more than me.
How can I break the ice? I need your help to get to the bottom of this. If she really is my mother then I never want to see her again because she has already shown me what she is made of.
Please give some advice, I am so confused and scared, I feel rejected. At times I feel like taking her hair or something and going for a DNA test.
Response
I am very well thank you for asking. Children are special gifts from God and they should be treated with love and respect. I do not understand why she would lie if you really are her daughter.
You cannot hide such a secret for life. If this is true, how could her entire family be in on it? I do not know much about the attempted rape because you did not say much but I am very sorry about that.
Such people should be removed from society, I am glad the law dealt with him. I think you should be assisted to get to the bottom of this issue. I agree it is very confusing and scary.
I think you should tell mainini what you heard from her best friend’s children. There is no harm in asking, you should also check with other members of the family. Whose surname do you use?
Do you know anyone else who shares the same name and what is your relationship like with them? I would also like to know if your grandparents from your mother’s side are still alive.
You might also want to look through family photos and try to find out if there are any photos of you and your mother. You talked about going for a DNA test, that would clarify everything but it is not as easy as you think.
You need to get permission from your aunt to go with you. Even if you were to collect a sample from her do you know how to properly package it and get it to the DNA specialists?
You also need to know that the tests are also quite expensive to undertake. If you are not yet a major I would like to refer you to organisations that deal with children so that you get counselling and whatever assistance you need.
If mainini lied about this, she is likely to lose both you and babamudiki and that would be very unfortunate, zvinonyadza. Please keep me informed I am very keen to know how this unfolds. Pray about this sincerely, God will give you a breakthrough. I wish you all the best.
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