The Sunday Mail
Pastors Davison & Gwendoline Kanokanga
FAITHFULNESS is a fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 says that:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.”
To be faithful is to be honest. It is to live up to one’s promises. A faithful person honours his or her word. He or she walks the talk. There is no mismatch between their words and deeds. In fact, an honest person’s promise becomes his or her legal obligation. It becomes their bond. Faithful people are people of integrity. They are morally upright. Consequently, they are reliable, dependable and trustworthy. On page 10 of her book, “What Every Woman Wants in a Man” Diana Hagee writes;
“The adjectives that describe a faithful person are steadfast in affection or allegiance or loyal. This man is firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty or conscientious. A faithful individual is one who is given to assurance or one who is bound by promise. If a woman says that she wants a faithful man, what she is really asking for is a man who will not have an affair and who will be loyally committed to her for life.”
Marriage, being the most intimate human relationship, requires utmost good faith. No marriage can succeed in the absence of faithfulness. Faithfulness is one of the pillars of marital success. Not many people know that;
“… success in marriage does not depend ultimately on how it was entered into, but on how a husband and wife conduct themselves after they are married. If both are faithful to fulfil their responsibilities as assigned to them by scripture, the marriage will be successful and there will be genuine love between them.” – Paul Blanchard, “Why Men Cheat & What To Do About It” (page 30)
In marriage it is not enough for one of the spouses to be faithful. Both spouses must be faithful to each other, to other people and to God. Ananias and Sapphira are an example of a couple that was unfaithful to God. Their story is recorded in the book of Acts where it is said that;
“Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself but brought the rest and put it at the Apostles’ feet. Then Peter said, “Ananias how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you have received for the land?”– Acts 5:1-3 .
If you are a dishonest couple, I would want you to know that you are dangerous to each other, to your marriage and to your children. You will, through your lies, stress each other. Stress is not what you want in your marriage. What you want is more love and less stress.
Marital faithfulness is not restricted to the sexual dimension of a couple’s life. It extends to such areas as finances, responsibilities and promises.
H Norman Wright writes that; “When a couple marry they are called to be faithful, but to what? To sexual faithfulness alone or is there more? We are called to faithfulness in all areas of our life; to the friendship phase of the marital relationship so that each comes to see the other as his best friend; to our partner as a child of God, a joint heir with us.” – H Norman Wright “Seasons of a Marriage” (page 102)
The same author goes on to write that;
“Unfortunately the thinking of most of us toward marital unfaithfulness is limited to sexual involvement. In a broader sense a large portion of couples have been unfaithful through involvement with some things rather than someone other than their spouse. When one’s thoughts are pre-occupied with any form of divergence and their energies are drained because of that, their marriage is neglected,they are involved in an affair.
Men and women have affairs with their jobs, their hobbies, the TV, their children, their church. When some other event or activity takes precedence over our spouse and interferes with the development and growth of our marriage, a non-sexual affair is in effect” – H Norman Wright, “Seasons of a Marriage” ( page 103)
Faithfulness is a character trait. One is either faithful or unfaithful. Faithfulness is something you have to develop. Not only should you develop it, you must practise it. If you want to have a faithful spouse you must be faithful too. An unfaithful spouse should not expect faithfulness from his or her spouse. There simply is no basis for such an expectation. You must do to your spouse what you want done unto you. To the unmarried I say, you cannot possibly expect to be faithful in marriage if you are unfaithful before marriage. A person who is unfaithful before marriage is likely to continue to be unfaithful in marriage.
Bishop T D Jakes rightly pointed out; “If he can’t be trusted to meet you on time consistently then how can he be trusted to be at home on time?”– T D Jakes “Before You Do” (page 131)
