The Sunday Mail
Ellen Sanyanga
ROORA/LOBOLA is an integral part of African culture.
The process sees the groom parting with money or livestock in order to be granted his bride-to-be’s hand in marriage.
It is regarded as a “thank you” to the bride’s family for raising the woman who will be joining the groom’s clan, where she is expected to help grow the tribe through child-bearing.
In its traditional sense, lobola was meant to legitimise the marriage in the eyes of both the living and the dead.
It also binds the families together.
The practice has stood the test of time and is still relevant today, although it has been evolving for some time now.
Millennials are moving away from the old ways as modern concepts are now being integrated into lobola ceremonies.
The traditional ceremonies are now bearing the hallmarks of elegant white weddings and one can be forgiven for confusing the former with the latter.
It has now become fashionable for the bride, her sisters and friends to wear matching outfits, just as bridesmaids would do at a white wedding.
Some even take it a notch further, with the groom also showing up dressed in an outfit that matches his bride’s outfit.
African print garbs seem to be the style of choice.
To add more splendour, the décor is usually top-notch, created to match the theme.
Professional caterers
Professional caterers are also engaged to keep the food and drinks flowing.
However, this trend has been met with mixed feelings by various sections of society, with traditionalists saying young people are corroding local cultural practices.
Traditionally, sensitive issues were addressed during the lobola ceremony. Due to that, only close family members were invited for the event.
However, nowadays friends and strangers gather to bear witness to proceedings.
How then does the family dissect any thorny issues that might pop up during lobola payment?
Mbuya Msutu, a traditional marriage counsellor, discouraged people from inviting outsiders into lobola negotiations.
“A proper traditional ceremony is where the groom, for instance, is asked whether he knows that his bride-to-be has been married before, or that she has a child from an earlier union. This is where issues such as the real upbringing of the bride-to-be are revealed. The couple should go into marriage fully aware of what they are getting themselves into.
“Some of the issues discussed at proper lobola ceremonies are sensitive and only meant for very close family members as they can destroy a marriage if not handled well. How can all these things be addressed when the event has been turned into a charade full of strangers?” queried Mbuya Msutu, adding: “So are all the family issues, the dirty linen, being washed in public? Or are we now sweeping it all under the carpet just to maintain the order and peace and make things look rosy?”
Traditionalist and president of Zimbabwe National Practitioners’ Association (ZINPA) Sekuru Friday Chisanyu said the “new type” of traditional weddings, while commendable to an extent, is an unsustainable anathema.
“Let us do things properly. The bride and groom are supposed to be taught how to manage relations. The lobola ceremony should not just be about the elegance, the teachings must also be included. Most people now get married without getting proper counselling from their elders. This is why most marriages are breaking down,” Sekuru Chisanyu said.
Replacing foreign with foreign
So where is this trendy concept emanating from?
Fingers have been pointed to South Africa, Botswana, Zambia and Nigeria.
With the advent of satellite television and the internet, people now have access to wedding shows from various countries.
It is, therefore, not a surprise that Zimbabweans are now modifying the lobola ceremony to match how it is done in other parts of the world.
Social media, being modern day trendsetters, have also been playing a big part in the popularity of these modern-day lobola events.
Sekuru Chisanyu said people are now infusing foreign concepts into the rich local culture, thereby distorting the Zimbabwean culture.
He also decried intermarriages, which have seen people marrying men or women from other countries.
“The new trend of lobola ceremonies is emanating from the fact that Zimbabweans are marrying foreigners. They have to follow the foreign groom or bride’s culture,” he said.
Social commentator Dr Rebecca Chisamba weighed in saying the trendy lobola concept has seen the traditional marriage slowly losing its essence, which in turn has a huge impact on local culture.
“Most people have even changed the way they dress, they are being influenced by other countries, not knowing that it is affecting their own tradition,” said Mai Chisamba.
Death of the white wedding?
A decor expert, Ms Pauline Mapisa of Wedding Gallery, believes that trendy lobola ceremonies, which are now dubbed traditional weddings, are slowly wiping out the white weddings.
“Traditional marriages are cheaper, yet they embrace our people’s culture and tradition. While the economic situation is forcing people to go for the cheaper ways of getting married, the ‘bug’ is catching on real fast.
“People who can afford the white weddings are also going for these trendy traditional ceremonies. They combine the roora ceremony and the traditional wedding,” said Ms Mapisa.
She said the new trend was mainly adopted from South Africa.
“South Africans respect their traditional décor, especially during traditional weddings. They wear different attires, representing their diverse traditions. This has actually inspired us to embrace our Zimbabwean culture,” said Ms Mapisa.
She said traditional weddings are almost the same as white weddings, adding that most formalities that are done at white weddings are also done at traditional weddings.
These include cake cutting and the after party.
Sekuru Chisanyu concurred with Ms Mapisa, saying traditional weddings might be replacing white weddings.
He also expressed concern over the high cases of divorce.
“Traditional marriages seem to bind people more than the white wedding marriages,” he said. Newly married Ranganai Tekwani believes traditional marriages are the way to go.
“These lobola ceremonies are the in-thing, which is why many people are doing it. We should not be stuck in the past,” said Tekwani.
She said she was inspired by the trendy traditional marriage ceremonies she saw on social media.
