The Sunday Mail
I love your column it is interesting and helpful. I do not understand why people behave the way they behave. A decade ago I was swimming in money. I rented a beautiful mansion in the low density areas. We were our families’ favourite. Whatever happened be it unfortunate or fortunate people would depend on us.
We used to throw wild parties, pungwes where people would drink like fish and eat like kings. For braais a whole pig would be prepared kuzoti beef iyi hamuzomboda. Family and friends knew me as Vamabhanduru or Mr D for dollars because I always had stacks of money.
We were very generous and as far as I remember we assisted almost 99 percent of the people around us.
Some would borrow money from me and my wife and never pay it back. We were so rich and comfortable we never followed up on people who owed us. We had a fleet of cars, some for my wife and children and some for me.
If one came to our mansion then one would mistake it for an Embassy. Each and every button we pressed turned into gold, it was just wonderful. We did not put in place the issue of auditing or stock taking because we thought it was unnecessary. As I write this letter I am the opposite of what I used to be.
Those businesses crashed like a deck of cards. My wife has since walked out on me accusing me of being stupid. I am destitute, I now stay with a nephew who lodges in a three roomed cottage in the ghetto. When I visit the people who used to frequent my place when the going was good they ignore me.
Most of the people I called family and friends have abandoned me. My two sons went with their mother. Life is unfair, people are cruel. All my cars were sold because of debts I am back to kombis. It is like a bad dream, the only nephew who took me in is struggling and at times we go without a meal.
Mai Chisamba, what do I do to reverse this situation? I am desperate and so down hearted. I have lost everything. The people I used to look after now call me all sorts of names kutonditsvinyira.
Thank you for writing in I hope my response will be of help to you. Your story sounds like a West African movie but this is real life. Vamabhanduru or Mr D going from a king to a Jack is terrible.
Your wife walked out on you and called you stupid. I think she had a point but I think she left it until too late.
She is passing the buck, in my view you were together in this and now she is being unfair.
You are now placing the blame on life, family and friends that is passing the buck as well. We have a Shona adage which says “zano unopangwa uine rako”. Marriage is composed of couples so that when the other fails the other assists. Why rent a mansion when you could have bought your own house?
Life is what you make it and this is the reason why you should blossom wherever you are. It is good to have fun with family and friends but always remember to prepare for the rainy days.
You lived from hand to mouth you never made any reasonable investment that is why everything crashed like a deck of cards. We should learn from our culture where each home is expected to have its own silo (dura) kwekuzomhanyira kana zvaoma.
I do not understand why you always had the pungwes. You knew you had children but you kept on spending as if there was no tomorrow. From a fleet of cars to kombis and mushikashika you should be ashamed of yourself.
How can you be so rich as not to follow up on your debtors? I do not want to call you names but you have yourself to blame.
Hupenyu haudi manyemwe nekuda kuonekwa. The only way to reverse this situation is to swallow your pride and go look for work or come up with a project.
In business you audit and stock take you have to know what goes on in your business empire. Start on a new slate close this sad chapter and move on.
You have to work for yourself and your children. Never make yourself vulnerable because people will take advantage of you. Vakawanda vane mari asi vari kuronga upenyu vasina buka nemanyemwe. You need money so follow on those people who owe you, all the best.
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