Veronica Gwaze
WHEN Takudzwa Maindidze and Pauline Matangira got married in Bindura recently, their ceremony represented a break from traditional wedding rites and norms.
Instead of holding separate roora/lobola and white wedding ceremonies, they opted for a hybrid event.
The intimate gathering took place in the Matangira family’s backyard.
Merging the two ceremonies, which have traditionally been culturally distinct, has become trendy in Zimbabwe.
Denzel Muneta and Hazel Murara, who recently wed in Knowe, Norton, opted for a similar path.
Their small but chic ceremony was held shortly after their roora rites.
Shift
An increasing number of couples are opting to combine the traditional roora/lobola and white wedding ceremonies.
Historically, roora/lobola ceremonies were private affairs involving families of the bride and groom.
During these events, the groom would pay the bride price to his in-laws, often in the form of cattle, money or other valuables.
This payment was a symbolic gesture, signifying his commitment to the bride and her family.
It also represented the union of the two families.
But marriages gradually evolved with the advent of colonialism and the adoption of Christianity.
It meant couples who wanted to solemnise their unions were obliged to have a white wedding, which was presided over by a minister of religion.
But having a white wedding needs to have the blessings of the bride’s family, usually granted after meeting their expectations.
So, the inherent financial burden of having two ceremonies naturally dictated that they be held months — or even years — apart. This has since changed.
It began with the reinvention of the roora/lobola ceremony, through which “roora squads” — who mimic maids of honour common in white weddings, but dressed in African attire — became fashionable.
It added a touch of contemporary flair to the proceedings.
Couples have since realised that they can also have their weddings solemnised at the lobola/roora ceremony, subject to an agreement by the in-laws.
Not only has this been deemed convenient but cost-effective as well, as it helps to avoid the hefty bill that likely comes with a separate ceremony.
Marriage counsellor Dr Shelter Shenjere feels many couples are now choosing to combine roora/lobola and white wedding ceremonies as a more economic and viable option. White weddings can be extremely costly, she said, with some couples often splurging up to US$5 000 on preparations, venues, catering and other associated expenses. In contrast, combined celebrations are relatively cheaper.
While couples in the past could often recoup some of their wedding expenses through gifts, this is no longer the case.
“The couples would get a lot of presents, including monetary gifts, thus they were able to pay off debts, but nowadays there are no more wedding gifts. The couple is often left in heavy debt after the event,” she said.
Separate roora/lobola and white wedding ceremonies are considered to be particularly expensive due to the need for relatives to travel multiple times to attend both events.
Psychologist Dr Nisbert Mangoro believes many couples still opt for extravagant white weddings just for prestige.
However, these events can be incredibly stressful and expensive, with higher costs for invitations and catering, among other things. A larger wedding also requires more planning and organisation, which can contribute to stress.
“Some of these consequences are felt for years after the wedding, so most couples now take the easiest route by combining the two. This trend offers a more practical and economical approach to marriage celebrations,” said Dr Mangoro.
Divisions
Sociologist and author Dr Esther Ngwenya suggests that extravagant white weddings, while once intended to unite families and friends, can sometimes have the opposite effect.
Disagreements over gifts, food or perceived status can lead to serious division among families.
“There are some families that were left divided because one was not given VIP status or enough food,” said Dr Ngwenya.
“Also, concerns about witchcraft have prompted some couples to choose smaller, more intimate ceremonies to avoid unwanted influences.”
Broken family relationships can also be a factor in couples opting for intimate roora/lobola-wedding celebrations.
So, this current trend perceivably allows couples to selectively invite individuals they genuinely want to be present, creating a more personal and meaningful experience.
Further, the added convenience of the new trend is that the couples can wed in their own backyards.
Marriages, however, still need to be legalised through the courts.
This involves filing the necessary documents in advance and having the marriage solemnised by a qualified marriage officer.
The officer will then complete the remaining legal procedures on behalf of the couple.
Legal practitioner Angeline Nkiwane says Zimbabwe has traditionally recognised two types of marriage officers: magistrates/judges and commissioned ministers of religion.
“Recently, traditional chiefs have also been certified as marriage officers, expanding the options available to couples,” she explained.
Origins/diluted culture
The iconic image of Queen Victoria wearing a white gown at her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840 is largely believed to have popularised the tradition of white wedding dresses.
However, in Africa, the custom of paying roora/lobola before marriage remains deeply rooted.
Traditionalist Mbuya Berita Muneri expresses concern about the negative impact of the current trend of combining roora ceremonies with white weddings.
She argues that the traditional purpose of roora/lobola ceremonies was to unite families and allow representatives from both sides to offer blessings to the couple.
Moreover, the period between the roora/lobola ceremony and the wedding was aimed at ensuring that the couple received guidance and preparation for marriage.
“We used the period between the roora/lobola ceremony and the wedding to prepare the couple for marriage.
“During this period, the bride would receive guidance from her family on how to navigate her new role, while the groom would learn from his uncles.
“Unfortunately, the combined ceremonies have eliminated this valuable preparation period,” said Mbuya Muneri.
The traditional approach of separate ceremonies, she further reckons, helped preserve marriages by making women feel valued and respected by their husbands and in-laws.
“This strong bond between the bride and her in-laws also contributed to lower divorce rates,” she added.
Loss of business
But, if the current trend continues, it could eat into the business of traditional white wedding planners.
As couples opt for smaller, more intimate celebrations, the need for professional planning services has naturally dropped.
Geraldine Zivanai, an events planner, said they are seeing shifting patterns in the business.
“I used to get more than eight clients per year and charged at least US$400 for planning services only. The figure could be more if the couple needs extras like décor,” said Zivanai.
Sarah Ngwerume, founder of Events Glitz, faces similar challenges.
Her company specialises in event decoration, catering and rental services.
Small-scale modern weddings have reduced demand for such services.
“I have 500 chairs, tents and mobile toilets which I hire out for weddings. I also do catering services and this new trend has left us in a fix.
“We used to cash in on huge events, but we now have a few of those these days.”
