The Sunday Mail
Thank you for this platform. I am a 17-year-old girl and I did not do well when I set for my O-Level exams. I only managed to get one pass. We stay in the same neighbourhood with my Gogo, my mother’s mum and she has not been feeling well but she is stable now. My mother is a full time house wife, she works hard. She has a small garden, vanosona, vanochengeta huku and so many other things. I take a keen interest in helping out because I have a passion for what she does.
A few weeks ago I was sent to go and stay with gogo so that I assist the maid. My gogo is a nasty old woman, if you spend a day with her you feel as if you have stayed with her for a decade. Sisi vane moyo murefu vangadai vachivarova. She is 72 but at times she plays sick. You have to persuade her to eat and to take her medication.
The only time when she is strong is pavanenge vachipopota. You can hear her voice from the gate. I do not understand why I am being punished like this. My mother’s siblings all have children why can we not take turns. A few houses down her road there is a very good man who checks on us every now and then he even brings gogo goodies whenever he can.
When my parents come over he shows up to see them and to update them on gogo’s condition. I asked myself why he really went out of his way to be of assistance, when I asked gogo the answer I got broke my heart. Gogo said this guy is the man who should have married my mother. Vakadanana makore akawanda kwazvo. This was said during sisi’s presence.
I was shocked, I no longer want to talk to him. They are making a fool of my father; why does he still keep in touch with gogo after all these years? Could he still be going out with my mum despite the fact that he is married? I want to go back home I am upset. Should I ask my mother about this? I am her second born but as the eldest daughter I am concerned.
Thank you for writing in. At 17 you are one year shy of being a major, you should start reasoning like one. It is not punishment to go and help out at gogo’s especially when she is not well. She is family and because of her age she needs you. It is not easy for a person who used to do her own chores to depend on others.
I am not saying gogo should be mean and nasty but I do not know whether I should accept your assessment of the old lady since you are angry with her. You need to be patient, loving and tolerant when you deal with a 72-year-old woman. There is a lot going on with regards to her health and life – do not be too hard on her.
When she spilled the beans about your mother’s old flame I do not think she meant any harm. I agree apa havana kuita censorship yakakwana asi ndikowo kungobvotomoka. When people break up during their courtship and decide to marry other partners they do not necessarily have to become enemies.
Both your mum and the other guy are happily married. He comes to see gogo because they stayed in the same neighbourhood and had a great relationship. Do not read too much into this, it happened nearly two decades ago. Why and what will you tell your father? Please do not do such a thing until you have concrete evidence that something shady is going on.
What else do you know besides what gogo said? If you want to go back home do so do not look for unfounded excuses. Usatsvage kuparadzanisa vabereki zvinokudzokerawo. If you respect your mother please do not bring her past into the mix. Calm down do not brew a storm from a teacup.
If you want your cousins to take turns to go and help with gogo your mum and her other siblings can make a schedule. Please continue with your education, it is your future so keep on trying until you succeed.
Please love your mbuya make sure she is well cared for and comfortable. You get blessings when you do good for others. Pray for yourself and for your family hasha itai shoma. I wish you all the best.