The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi
This instalment is a gift to all those who made it into the marriage life in the first half of 2016. My best wishes to you all!
Like it is with road signs, which warn all road users of any potential dangers ahead, no dangers can befall a marriage without sending warning shots first.
Be cool on the road!
Your ability to understand each other may give your marriage the much needed light.
I have come across many couples who magnify problems while putting less effort in extinguishing the fire.
Change can never come from anyone but you.
Failure to observe road signs will not only lead to accidents and death, it can also cost you a good reputation on the road.
Now that you are married, it does not mean that dating is over. If you are an outgoing couple, keep on going out together.
People get married for different reasons and are motivated differently too. A marriage is made up of different partners who intend to love each other, forever together.
I have never heard of people who marry with the intention of making the union a short-term investment. How the couple relate with each other determines the marriage’s life span.
For the journey
Just like when you are travelling, be sure to take along the necessary tools required for a healthy marriage.
Couples should anchor their marriages on trust and honesty.
Take along good attitudes and perceptions and leave behind the rest. It is not bad to copy good things from other couples but keep in mind that each union has its characteristics and challenges. So it can only make sense that none of the partners will take along the mistakes of another union into their own marriage.
We need to learn how to navigate well in this environment where there are high divorce statistics. We ought to give due attention to this important institution called marriage.
On the journey
Matrimonial safety is determined by the couple on board.
Just like the road where the users must observe the sign posts, all marriage oaths and commitments must also be observed.
Observe how your conduct may affect your partner and find better ways to promote safety. This is a sign of personal matrimonial maturity.
When two people get married, disagreements are inevitable due to the couple’s differences. Culture, beliefs and values play a major role in defining the individuals in a couple. Such considerations are relevant in promoting harmony.
Strong couples can navigate through hazards swiftly if they consider each other’s feelings and adopt the “we” attitude instead of the “I” approach, which tends to be judgmental.
It becomes everyone’s choice to have a peaceful home, taking into account one’s contribution to the state of the relationship without making your partner a victim in one way or the other.
It is also advisable to make use of the lay-byes to rest on the journey. Some incidents will throw you off balance, approach such events with caution so as to create a better dialogue.
Fasten your seatbelts, the journey has just begun!
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