Bishop Lazarus: Living in the Golden Age of KFC

Cialis Super Active buy online, purchase clomid. In the days of Noah, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage. Right up until the moment that Noah entered the ark.

And even as he sat sealed in that huge boat for some days more, the people outside continued eating and drinking, and marrying and giving in marriage. Right until the first drops of rain fell, swelling into a deluge that swept all that was not in the ark.

The Bishop thought of Old Noah the other day as Zimbabweans celebrated the great coming of KFC to Harare.

We are now officially a Kentucky Fried Country. And we are supposed to believe that this means we are a country that is well and truly progressing.

It reminded me of my backsliding brother, Thomas Freidman: winner of three Pulitzers for journalism and drumbeater-in-chief when Washington and the Pentagon want to bomb another nation into the bold future of being a Kentucky Fried Country.

He is one of the New York Timesai??i?? international affairs gurus (ai???international affairsai??? in American geocentricism is a euphemism for ai???what Washington wantsai???).

I thought of Freidman when marvelling at the local KFC celebrations because of a theory he expounded in relation to another Noah Days-feasting-like giant called MacDonaldai??i??s.

He said in 1996 that ai???no two countries that both have a McDonaldai??i??s have ever fought a war against each otherai???.

ai???In the 1950s and ai??i??60s developing countries thought that having an aluminium factory and a UN seat was what made them real countries, but today many countries think they will have arrived only if they have their own McDonaldai??i??s and Windows 95 in their own language.ai???

In Zimbabwe in 2014, we have some in our midst who would have us believe that we are becoming a real country because we now have KFC.

Needless to say, Freidmanai??i??s theory is woefully simplistic: the US-Panama, Yugoslavia-NATO, Israel-Lebanon and Russia-Georgia wars all involved countries that host MacDonaldai??i??s.

Regardless, many people still believe that opening our doors to these gastronomic monstrosities is a step forward.

Just last year, Malik Obama, step-brother to God – sorry Barrack – in Washington DC contested a rural gubernatorial seat in Kenya on the promise that if he won he would give the peasant folk down there a MacDonaldai??i??s.

Hallelujah, he lost!

And he lost badly. He got less than 3 000 votes, a whole 14 000 less than the winner.

For the worldai??i??s sake, it is hoped the Not-God up in Washington is not a half-wit like his half-brother, especially seeing as his finger hovers over an arsenal that can bomb us all – MacDonaldai??i??s or not – into the hereafter.

Pardon the ramblings of an old preacher; we are getting to the thrust of todayai??i??s communion.

KFC the saviour: the light-bearer, the great physician that will cure all ills and usher us into a brave new world of morbid obesity and unfettered indolence.

It is an American company, which is not a sin. It was founded by the now deceased Colonel Sanders, MHSRIP, which is not a sin. It is now present in close to 120 countries, which is not a sin. It is the second-biggest restaurant chain (after, yes you guessed it, MacDonaldai??i??s), which is not a sin.

But we are all human and have fallen far short of the glory of God, so there must be a sin somewhere.

And yes, there is one. It just is not with KFC, minus of course the hedonistic gourmandising it brings, which really is the fault of the consumer.

The sin is with Zimbabwe.

What is happening to the creation of national brands and national industry, and developing a national economy?

Why are we so quick to rejoice at the entry of a beast that will surely swallow local businesspersons gamely trying to make an honest (I hope) dollar?

This is how the Bishop looks at it: since 1980, we have built far too few truly Zimbabwean companies, in whatever sector, which we can rely on to contribute to the creation of a national economy that we can call ours.

We are happy to latch onto whatever capitalist fad enterprising outsiders bring to our doors and take it as a sign that we are moving forward as a nation.

Zimbabweans simply do not have the commitment to building their own things. We want read-made solutions to national questions; questions, mind you, that we are reluctant to even ask in most cases. These questions centre on the protectionist (yes, I support that economic heresy!) policies needed to spur our development. Osei Boateng had an interesting story to tell about this some two years ago in New African magazine.

Those who have the time – and energy after indulging wantonly on KFC – can look for an article titled ai???Cracking the Code: Unlocking Africaai??i??s Secret to Wealthai???.

Even more important is to read Norwegian economic historian Erik S Reinertai??i??s ai???How rich countries got rich . . . And why poor countries stay poorai???, on which Boatengai??i??s article is based.

In it, he makes reference to Daniel Defoeai??i??s 1728 book ai???A Plan of English Commerceai???.

Defoe said the English Tudor Plan of 1485-1603 introduced by King Henry VII reduced poverty in England by making raw materials more expensive to export to the then better-developed Venice and Dutch Republic.

England created two institutions to promote its industry: protection of knowledge through patents; and regulated transfer of that knowledge to other countries through tariffs protection.

If this was not protectionism then I donai??i??t know what is!

British prime minister Robert Walpole in 1721 told his parliament that the country should promote manufacturing and import raw materials.

Zimbabwe is busy promoting manufacturing in other countries by exporting raw materials.

And then we turn around and lament our poor situation and sing the praises of KFC for being so benevolent as to come and bless this wretched piece of dirt that God forgot.

Friedrich List, a German economist, in 1841 said Europe developed because ai???the ladder was kicked awayai??? by telling other countries not to do what they had done to develop.

In essence, Europe started promoting ai???free tradeai??? after having established itself through serious protectionism.

And now we are celebrating – bellies full of KFC – that Southern African countries have secured a new Economic Partnership Agreement with the European Union that essentially says we will get ai???development assistanceai??? or whatever the catchphrase is these days only if we pump our raw materials into the EU.

How stupid can we be!?

The United States, from the very beginning and which like us was also colonised by the British, learnt that ai???free tradeai??? is the surest way to become a neo-colony. The first secretary of the US treasury, Alexander Hamilton, simply declared: ai???Do not do as the English tell you to do, do as the English do.ai???

But not us. No. We want it easy. We want things on what we naively believe is a silver platter and so we become a Kentucky Fried Country: a ready supplier of raw materials and an eager consumer of finished goods.

Hard decisions have to be made for a country to develop; tough action must be adopted for a country to develop; bitter communion must be swallowed and crosses raised atop Golgotha before we reach the promised land.

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