The Sunday Mail
Life Issues with FGK
When a baby is born, one crucial moment is when the gender is announced. In all cultures, they look forward to this moment with exhilaration.
Technology has extended an arm to pacify the curiosity of knowing whether the child will be male or female through scans and other methods, but years ago, the birthday of a child was as sacred because it revealed the gender of the new arrival to the bearers.
Many within our African culture celebrate the birth of a male child more. To them, a light bearer would have been born. This is natural. God made men in a different way, that is why they naturally assume responsibility of life and their minds are wired with a mentality to lead and forge a way into the future regardless of impediments.
The day a boy child is born, that’s the day when society begins to cast its burden of expectations upon the newly born. It is because hope usually accompanies the birth of a male child, just like the birth of the biblical characters of Moses, Samson and Jesus the Christ, meant deliverance to a whole generation of people.
This is the pressure that a boy-child can bear from birth and it culminates as the boy grows into a man and the provider-protector instinct is activated.
However, the development of a boy child recently has been neglected and yet it is equally important as that of a girl child. Empowering the girl child should not stifle the attention being directed to the boy child. The gospel of women empowerment and gender equality has left the boy child gasping for space. Have we forgotten that the boy child also has pubescence to deal with, just like the girl child?
But often we perceive that since they are boys, they will figure it out by themselves. Recently I visited a certain school which was distributing sanitary wear to the adolescent girls. It got me thinking.
Are we slowly neglecting the boy child? Do we also water his aspirations when we tend to her aspirations?
The teachers and guests at that particular school locked themselves in a classroom with the girls, training them on life and educating them on the developments within their bodies.
Noone was teaching the boy children. Boys are left to deal with their juvenescence. Thank God, He made sure their hearts are less receptive to emotional neuralgia.
The boy child is born with so much pressure already. They are created with a radical mentality and their instincts rarely identify danger, therefore, they get experimental with all the wrong things. To some extent, they are becoming the most vulnerable group whilst society only concentrates on the girl child.
Testosterone needs proper training to handle. Its impact within the male child is like that of a nuclear reactor and the controlling desire and passions that it manufactures within their bodies is a daily menace.
The power of the male hormone, when harnessed, can be transmuted into various pursuits that are useful and beneficial for the boy.
Proper guidance and information needs to be availed in a more acceptable manner, which is not enforcing but suggestive. The aggression and boldness within males equip them for what lies ahead of them.
Boys are highly susceptible to drug abuse, gang violence, school dropping, crime and many other dangers found within society. They are more at danger because their minds and make-up usually do not accept conformity to rules. They are driven towards discovering the world around them by themselves.
As he grows, he is overtaken by the heedless rush towards progress and thoughts of his state of affairs clutter his mind and gets him into a continual search for something better. The need to succeed in life and the pressure to prove to society that he can meet expectations and set targets gets the boy child into developing tenacity and a self-dependency attitude.
When that happens, manhood has just begun. The world of a man is a complex one. The burdens, the pressure and the testosterone which commands him to be ahead of his fellow are his daily conundrum.
Men are expected to provide for their families. Men are resilient by nature. Most times, it is the wife who reminds them to put on a jersey when going out into the cold, they sometimes even forget to eat, they can spend time on some energy-consuming task and not even pay attention to muscle aches – they are less sensitive creatures by nature and they need the care of the fairer sex to remain alive.
He carries a burden that he cannot even allow his father to help him carry. Man wants to be his own man, therefore, he is in a constant attempt to liberate himself from interdependence. When a young man gets married and they find themselves working at a soul-destroying job; they are not going to feel the negative impact of the job more than they feel the need to provide for their family.
The responsibility to provide gets them going every day and nothing kills his spirit than a feeling of failing to put food on the table for his family.
The life of a boy child and a man is not an easy one. Men’s battles are not his most of the time, but are for his wife and kids, or mother and sisters.
His pleasure is in making these happy and whenever he is given a warm smile, his faculties decode fulfillment and this is slowly equating to an addiction for reward.
His joy is not in him but he finds his joy in the joy of his family. The lives of men are a bit complex; they do not live for themselves but they live to provide and protect their loved ones. Although they are not emotional beings, men are in need of love.
They need more dosages of praise and support, especially from the women around them. These in turn act as fuel for his ego to tackle his daily conquest!
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