Avoid matrimonial pitfalls

10 Apr, 2016 - 00:04 0 Views
Avoid matrimonial pitfalls

The Sunday Mail

Tendai Mbirimi
Following the publication of our article on matrimonial investigations three weeks ago, the number of people who are writing to us requesting to be linked up with the organisation that specialises in unmasking cheats is astounding.
Can this be an indication that most marriages are in mayhem?
When your dear wife or husband begins to suspect that you are cheating, it simply means that there is something amiss with your conduct, which must be addressed, period.
Suspicious behaviour in a marriage is the beginning of matrimonial discontentment, hence the aggrieved spouse may end up opting for private investigations.
Once investigations are instituted and results are released to the instigator, two options are available – either to resolve the discovered matters and forgive each other or to opt for a separation or worse still, a divorce – the most horrendous evil to befall a marriage.
A divorce process is tortuous and rocky. No divorce process is instigated while people are enjoying a cup of coffee or cappuccino, or through any form of recreational excursion; divorce is a nasty adventure.
A break-up is associated with name calling, bickering, fighting, black mailing, malice and other forms of reputation damaging drills. God comprehends better how nasty the process is says, “I hate divorce”.
However, esteemed brides and grooms must treat each other with respect no matter how often they may disagree on issues. Remain composed even if you have opted for separation.
No two wrongs can make a right.
Ones’ bride-hood or groom-hood does not end with divorce, a good wife remains a good bride even when she is outside a marital setup. Kids look forward to the mother as their immediate role model. Their father remains their father. If possible, children must not be involved in marital disputes.
ln some cases, mothers try to make their kids see their father in bad light, they try to portray him as the merciless culprit who should be avoided at all costs.
Psychologically, this cultivates a hate character within the child, which is likely to backfire for the mother as well in the long run.
When marital incompatibility surfaces, it is not a sign that the end of everything is nigh. Just consider it to be one of those many unfortunate life scenarios and go ahead with life. Avoid suicidal choices.
Most people try to maliciously damage their partners’ image through a vengeance approach. Others try to use money to control their partners and fail to balance between financial and emotional limits. This has a strong bearing on the future of the family.
Matrimonial partners should avoid bringing each others’ financial positions into their quarrels. Quarrels do happen in every marriage but esteemed parents should never let them control the emotions. The more frenzied your emotions are, the more you are likely to make decisions with far reaching effects.

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