It’s good to party, but . . .

26 Dec, 2021 - 00:12 0 Views
It’s good to party, but . . .

The Sunday Mail

YESTERDAY I bumped into an immaculately dressed lady who was struggling by the roadside with a sloshed gentleman wearing a dark suit and a matching bow-tie.

So drunk was the gentleman that I do not think he still remembered his name. His pants were so wet that one would think he had fallen into a river.

“Chiregai kudaro Soko takutosvika kumba. Be strong, it won’t be long before we get home,” the lady could be heard saying to the gentleman, who was murmuring inaudible words.

Anyone could have wept seeing the challenges the woman was going through on account of her husband.
Welcome to the “Yuletide”, the time when people have lots of money to spend on beer, food and little everything else they can lay their hands on. It is not unusual this time of the year for some people to fail to go back home because of copious amounts of booze and “chilling out with the boys”.

This is the time of year when people seemingly forget about the challenges they faced throughout the year and make merry.

There are so many parties and amusement activities as workmates, friends and relatives share food and drinks.

But being invited to a party is not a licence for one to lose their mind and become the talk of the neighbourhood and workplace.

Some guests unnecessarily make themselves the centre of attraction.

“I have been going through hell all through the year and this is an opportunity to wash away my troubles.
“I want to drink and be happy and show the world that I am the heaviest drinker to walk the earth,” you hear people shamelessly saying in the ghetto.

The beauty with beer, however, is that it doesn’t intoxicate those who do not take it.
As they say, “doro haridhake asinganwe.”

Some people also think being invited to a party is an opportunity to eat everything on offer, including foods they have never eaten or tasted in their lifetime.
Such behaviour is not without its challenges.

It is usually accompanied by indigestion, vomiting, or both. Most things need to be done in moderation.
Keep your dancing, eating and drinking moderate. Also talk less at parties so that you learn more.

Research has shown that those who talk a lot learn a few things because they have no time to learn.
Remember that not everyone at a party is seeking a partner, so mind your business.

Further, people dance to the music they want and may not be forced to dance just to please you.
Today I share with you, gentle reader, a list of what not to do at a party:
• Getting too drunk to hand . . .
• Puking all over the place . . .
• Shouting at the top of your voice . . .
• Making out in front of everyone . . .
• Dressing like a disco ball . . .
• Sitting alone, not trying to make any conversation . . .
• Snapchatting the whole party . . .
• Vomit on yourself and not on others . . .
• Don’t try to be the clown of the party when you are not . . .
• Don’t break any crystals or vases . . .
• Don’t steal the attention of the host the whole time . . .
• Don’t poison the atmosphere by separating your own group to a different area . . .
• Don’t spoil for a fight . . .
• Get paranoid when you run into your ex . . .
Let us enjoy the holidays.
Inotambika mughetto.

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