You made those babies, don’t blame your wife

Question
Makadii Mai Chisamba. Ndakadana nemumwe musikana kare, takaita mwana. Mukupindana kwemazuva hatina kuzowirirana kuti tiwanane, pane zvakaramba. Kubva mazuva iwayo kusvika gore rapfuura ndaive ndisingazive kune musikana uyu pamwe nemwana wedu. Pakanyuka iwo anaFacebook ndipo patakabatana. Ndave kuti ndave kuda mwana azivane nemhuri yekwangu, ndakapihwa list yezvandaifanira kuripa kumhuri yemusikana uyu, ave mukadzi wemumwe murume. Hongu, ndobvuma kuti mwana ndewangu uye ndinoda kuti ndibvise zvinokodzera asi vabereki vemudzimai uyu vave kutondiripisa kunge ndiri kuroora mwana wavo. Iko zvino rave gore tisangataudzane navo apo mwana ane shungu yekusangana nevamwe vake. —Baba, Gweru.

Response
Ndakavhunduka kunzwa kuti wakaita nguva usingazive kune mwana wako, apa wakatotyora right yemwana huru yekuona vabereki vake vose. Chaunoda kana pasi pegungwa unochiwana. Kana mudzimai uyu akaroorwa siyana nezvekutaura naye pa any social network, she has found love and belongs to someone else. Mutsika nemagariro edu unotaura navana tete, vana mbuya kana madzisahwira ekwemukadzi uyu kuona kufambiswa kwenyaya dzemwana kwete kutaura naye. Zvekukura kwelist zvinokurukurwa nemhuri dzenyu nekuti ndivo vanoziva nhunha dzenyu. Kana mhuri dzisiri kuronga zvinokufadzai endai kucourt. Ane makore mangani ko mwana uyu avekuita shungu dzekuda kuona vekwake iye asati anyatsozivana newe baba nyakutumbura?

Question
Mai Chisamba, chitupa dai matorasa. Mudzimai wangu akashaya mwedzi wapfuura. Ndaive ndisina kubvisa pfuma, saka vana tezvara vakandigeza kusara ndave munhu anofamba zvake. Chiri kunyanyondibata ndechekuti vakabva vatora vana vedu vatatu vachiti handigoni kuvachengeta. Dai zviri zvepfuma yavakatora ndaive ndisina zvizhinji nayo asi nyaya yevana vangu. Ndodii? Handisati ndawana hangu asi sezvo mwanasikana wedu mukuru anenge abva zera saka ndaifunga kuti anogona kubikira vamwe vake kusvika ndawana. — David, Ruwa.

Response
Chekutanga, ndinoti nematambudziko nekushaika kwamai vemhuri yenyu. Handidi kukudzimbira munguva yakaita seino asi rega ndikuudze chokwadi, if you did not pay lobola for this woman then she was not your official wife, maibika mapoto. Mukufunga kwangu vatezvera vakakurooresai guva, zvinove zviri kunze kwemutemo. Munhu anoroorwa ari mupenyu, kana afa kunyangwe pane chikwereti chepfuma hachitevedzwi. Nyaya yevana inofanirwa kugadziriswa nekukurumidza, ikodzero yevana kuva nemubereki wavo kana kuri iko kune best interest yevana. Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti endai kune malegal executors vakubatsirei. Mwana wamuri kuti angachengete vamwe vana ane makore mangani, zvee haapinde chikoro here? Ndinokushuvirai rombo rakanaka mukugadzirisa nyaya iyi.

Question
Ndiri musikana ane makore 19. Mai vangu vakashaya makore anodarika gumi apfuura. Vakasiya vanyora tsamba yekwandaizowana baba vangu. Ndati kurei ndipo pandakaratidzwa tsamba iya. I tried to get hold of him, travelling to his village in Mhondoro even, but it seems he has not accepted me. I have gone twice to his work place in Harare, but each visit has been somehow cold. Should I let it like that? He is the only relative that I know of. Most of the remaining relatives from my mother’s side are distant. Ndibatsireiwo Mai Chisamba. —Loreen, Mutare.

Response
Nyaya yekuziva mubereki wako chaiye inyaya inobata moyo. Mai vako vakaita zvakanaka kusiya vataura mutsamba kuti baba varipi. Mazuva ano kune nyaya dzemaDNA tests, zvanaka. Usaore moyo, you need closure. Ndoziva hazvisi nyore kuti ufambire nyaya iyi wega, pada kuna baba uri chirangaridzo chezvakaitika pakati pavo namai. Kurudziro yangu ndeye kuti batana nevamwe veku ukama hwamai zvikuru munhu akapihwa tsamba namai kana achiri mupenyu. Bvunza kuti mai vakati chii nekuti handifunge kuti vakangopa tsamba yakakosha zvakadai vakanyarara. What do you do for a living? Vakawanda vanotya kuchengeta vana asi iwe wakura zvekuti haingave nyaya. Yedza kuferefetawo kuside kwababa kuti hakuna vana mbuya nana sekuru kwamungapotere nako kudzamara magadzirisa izvi. All the best.

Question
I moved in with my boyfriend of several years. Dambudiko ndere kuti this guy is married and when I moved in to his house, he had promised me marriage. Now he is citing Chapter 5:11, saying he cannot marry me, because once his wife finds out, she will take him to the cleaners. Now I want to move out, but I want to do it in a clean manner, zvokuti I don’t hurt him. I am really looking forward to be married one day and having my own family, but I don’t see any light with this guy. — Martha, Harare.

Response
Definitely his wife will take him to the cleaners, what a cheat!!! Martha uri kutamba nemuswe weshumba, ikatendeuka wapera. Murume uyu haazi kukunyengedza nekuti iwe uri kutoziva kuti ane mukadzi wake, ko unodirei kutambiswa sechidhori? Unoziva ukati I moved in with my boyfriend zvinoita sezvakareruka, imbozviudza chokwadi kuti uri kubika mapoto nemurume wemumwe uone kurema nekunyadza kwazvo. Don’t let this guy take advantage of you. Young lady, keep your pride. Uri kuti haudi kumurwadzisa, ukanonoka iye achakurwadzisa masikati machena shiri dzichivaka. Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti iwe respect yourself semunhu ungozvinyarawo. Shuviro yako ndeye kuzoroorowa nekuitawo mhuri yako, saka buda mumadhaka mauri. Good luck, Martha, and keep me posted.

Question
Ndiri murume ane makore 24. Recently I met a girl of 18 and we fell in love. Akabva ati anoda kuti ndizivane naamai vake and I didn’t see anything wrong.  I got worried after meeting her mother, she didn’t look the mother part to me. Fine, vanonwa doro zvavo, which should not be a big problem, but I discovered later that she lets her daughter do all sorts of things.
The other time she told me to just inform her when I need to take my girl out, and that as long as she knows where she will be, she will have no problem. Ndopane nyaya yangu, amai vemusikana wangu havachengetedze musikana wangu apo handisati ndave ready kuroora.  Kana vachidaro kwandiri, vanotadza nei kuzviita kune mumwe mukomana anogona kuuya nemwana wavo? — Gregory, Murambinda.

Response
Gregory, come out clean, wauri kuda apa ndiani? Musikana kana mai vake? Sei wabva waita take take navo? Uri kuti vanonwa doro, havana kukugutsa saamai, she lets her daughter do all sorts of things.
Yowe!!! Ungadewo kuti vakufambe sezvauri kuvaita here? Nyaya yekuti vanoda kuziva kunenge kune mwana wavo ndinofunga kuti vabereki vakawanda vanodzikama kana vari kuziva kuti mukunda anani, zve ari kupi.
Mazuva ano pane zvakawanda zviri kuitika. Musikana uyu ane 18 years haangaiswe mumbereko semucheche, ari pazera rekuziva zvakanaka nezvakaipa.  Relationships are about trust, mai vangovimbawo newe, gutsikana hako and judge her not. Asi une kashanje here iwe?

Question
Mai Chisamba, mufaro kwamuri. I have been dating these two girls, both beautiful and they share almost the same traits: intelligence, humour and I am happy when I am in the company of either. Now yave nguva yekuroora, ndave kuda kusarudza mumwe chete, ndiri kushaya kuti ndoshandisa method ipi kusarudza achave muroora wamai. Uyezve ndiri kushaya kuti mumwe wacho ndomuudza kutii? Rubatsiro kubva kwamuri, Mai Chisamba. — Forget, Epworth

Response
Ndinotenda nekundishuvira mufaro kwawaita. Ndinovimba iwe uri wadi. Nhaiwe Forget, unonyadzisirei kudai? Zvauri kuita ndiro rinonzi shura padunhu, kutambisa vanhu chamutavanhava. Vasikana ava vakaperera murudo newe asi iwe uri kutovaita sevanhu vari pama Olympics, wave kutotsvaka method yekusarudza. Rubatsiro rwangu nderwekuti dzidza kuremekedza vanhu, you are just being unfair to these women. Kumbira ruregerero kwavari and set them free. They should forget about you sezita rako.

Question
I want to thank you especially for your column in The Sunday Mail, though I am not sure if you will welcome my problem. My wife is slim and I admire vana mafat one. The fact is I love my wife and I am planning to buy her some creams like ekudeveloper mahips nema breast ake. But my question is, do these creams work effectively, and how good are they in terms of side-effects? I love her but I cannot keep this any longer . – Concerned

Response
Thank you so much for reading our Sunday Mail Forum. Shamwari yangu, ndinoda kuti uzive kuti muto wetsenza mumwe chete. Zvekuti mukadzi akasimba kana mutete hazvina mutsauko, the difference is in your mind. Kana uchida kuisirwa mureza mutsvuku pamba pako mudzimai wako afa, tenga macreams auri kutaura aya nekuti ane maside-effects ane ngozi. Uri kuda kuita develop mahips nemabreasts, iroad here inoitwa develop? Please just stop this. You say you love your wife and yet you admit to cheating on her navana magumete (vakadzi vakasimba). Munhu munhu, kani, zvakakosha ndozviri mumoyo nemupfungwa. Hatiite experiment nemunhu nekuti hupenyu humwe chete. Love your wife and enjoy your marriage.

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