The Sunday Mail
Mai Chisamba—
I THANK you so much for your column. As I write to you I am in the middle of great confusion. I work for a certain company that I cannot disclose for professional reasons.
I am a 36-year-old married woman and my hubby is 37. We have two kids, both boys. We are a happy family or maybe let me say so far so good. I am a very sober woman I do not drink but I can accommodate those who do without a problem. The year 2016 ended on a very sad note for me, sometime in November we went for a short one-day workshop.
On our way back a male colleague suggested that we buy lunch at a place where they had both food and alcoholic drinks. We were five, three males and two females (including the driver). We all agreed to the idea, although, some of us had no idea that this place was one of those cheap lodges/ brothels. We ordered food and the males ordered alcoholic drinks.
We chose a corner table and started eating. After I had gone half way with my food my brother-in-law walked in. He was in a very bad mood and inquired angrily what I was doing at such a place.
The driver semunhu mukuru wataive naye tried to explain but he would not have any of this. I was not drinking but I was suspected of such and this really sent him into a rage. Chakasara chine mudzimu wacho. I was falsely accused of cheating on my husband. I asked if we could go out so that I get time to explain.
While we were out he clapped me twice in my face and our driver intervened. Ndakanyadziswa in front of workmates and other people. It is a long story but now my hubby is not believing this story. He insists that I tell him the truth. Vakanetsana nebrother yake because he thinks there is a reason why he clapped me.
They are not talking and my mother-in-law is up in arms with me, zvanzi waparadza vana vangu. There is a lot of tension and my parents are mad about babamukuru’s actions. They are saying I should go back home.
I have two kids I am so confused, ndoita sei? My colleagues are shocked they do not understand all this. I am just tired of explaining but my hubby keeps saying the day he will get the truth is the date he will show me what he is made of. Should I go to my parents’ house? Please assist.
Response
Thank you so much for writing in. my heart bleeds when people build storms from tea cups. Why have you complicated this issue to such an extent? Marriage is about trust if you cannot trust your significant other then you are not a good candidate for it. Your husband should take your word for it, you also have baba avo va driver who is trying his best to explain the matter. It is wrong for him to pin you down for going to a place that you did not know of.
I agree some places tarnish images and the likes but for this group he knows why they had gone there. From the letter I understand that you are a happy family, please keep it that way. Your hubby can speak to the driver and the rest of the team just to understand the story. Your brother in-law has no right whatsoever to clap you. That is domestic violence at its worst. Culturally vanotori baba because he is the elder brother. He is no better than revellers who frequent that place, if it is such a junky establishment what was he doing there? Only animals fight when they are in conflict people talk and bury the hatchet. I do not think it is a good idea to go back home because it does not solve anything. Your parents are worried because they do not know how your hubby may react in the future considering the toll babamukuru’s outburst took on him.
Your brother in-law should be brought to book people have been killed or maimed because of such behaviour. I suggest you engage a professional counselor, I think your husband needs to calm down and listen. You can ask those who use public transport, bus rose rinonomiswa panzvimbo yakadai driver achinodya; how many families would fight over this?
You and your hubby should sort this mess out the rest of the family will follow suit. Please do not waste your time hapana kana nyaya apa. Babamukuru is off track he needs to go for anger management. Why is he crying more than the bereaved? Pray for your family. God will grant you your hearts’ desires. I would be happy to hear from you again.
