The Sunday Mail
This past week has been all about policy in the media. A shift here and a change there, a little tweaking up here and a faux pas there, but what is the Zimbabwean media without a bit of humour, if I may ask? Yours truly was terribly amused by one Minister of Transport on the rather unamusing issue of road accidents.
Of course, the issue is sensitive, what with the terrible accidents that are happening on our nation’s roads, one would think there is hardly anything to giggle about in that regard, but, trust me, there is.
See, Cde Obie was saying there is a need to make sure the age of those operating public transport vehicles needs to be reviewed upwards because most of the accidents recorded were being caused by those between 25 and 30 years old.
Interesting observation.
But surely when the 30 and older ages are the only ones to ferry us then the new observation would be that the 30-year-olds will be responsible for carnage.
It’s all down to mathematics, isn’t it?
I was a serious dunderhead in class, maths-wise, but isn’t that called the law of probability? The reason why there aren’t any 50-year-olds involved in accidents is . . . well . . . because there are very few 50-year-olds driving kombis!
Rather, the ministry should make sure our roads are safe, traffic cops cease to be money-hunting terrorists and the abandoned project to have functioning electronic speed traps becomes the policy for implementation.
Even if we say only Methuselahs are to drive us around from now on, as long as corruption thrives and police demand bribes to turn a blind eye to speeding and unroadworthy vehicles, then even if God goes behind the wheel they will still demand a bribe from the Big Guy and carnage will not be done away with!
Still on policy tweaking, the call was also made last week that fitting electricity meters would now be more costly because they will now be mounted high up on poles so that they are not tampered with.
And for the added cost the consumer will have to foot that bill I suppose.
True, something has to be done about meter-tampering and it is shameful that people still want free electricity and yet throw flak the way of Gwasira and company when electricity load-shedding reaches terrible highs. The thing is, this new idea is absolutely daft as only the cost goes high but tampering will continue.
Truth is, it is electricians, including Zesa workers, collaborating with daft cheapskates that tamper with the meters anyway. Even if they are placed at the bottommost part of the Indian Ocean they will be tampered with. We should have madness called in to deal with madness.
How about 30 years in the Pen for those who want to steal electricity and, say, US$1 000 for anyone who snitches on a Zesa worker who offers to tamper with a meter for a bribe?
Surely we should master the art of paying for services rendered. Zesa has received so much flak but in all fairness, they are probably the most improved parastatal in the face of all this terrible wave of power theft and bill evasion.
Ok, so maybe I shouldn’t poke fun at my sister paper, but I have to hand it to The Herald last week for teaching me a thing or two about geography.
Itself hardly a strong point of mine at school, (I was good at the break-time munching though), here I was reading a story of Mokoomba recording a new album in the entertainment section.
They are also fresh from their European tour, too, I was helpfully told. The European tour had taken them to many places and I was also told it took them to Australia and New Zealand! Blimey! How things change very fast.
Continental drift has become so speeded up that now the Aussies and New Zealanders are safely tucked right next to Corsica and Alicante!
If they thought a week was a long time in politics, then it’s nothing compared to geography where large continents move to within inches of each other in record time!
And a few weeks ago it was the Daily News on Sunday telling us of the USA being one of the European countries . . . is Europe annexing other territories with gusto or what! And yet again, when we want to focus on bread and butter issues that dastardly Baba Jukwa comes and spoils things, taking acres of space in the media.
Let’s get it over and done with it and arrest the bum, throw him or them in the dungeon and toss the key into the ocean so we refocus our attention on things that fill the tummy.
Baba Jukwa is not mentioned in Zim-Asset nor is he in the electoral manifestos of last year and we would be glad if these thieving yobs are dealt with quickly that we may focus our energies on nation-building.
The Zimbabwe Mail had great uncovering of MDC stories last week with some mention of people (MDC thuggish yobs more like it) wanting to whip the party elders into line . . . literally.
Poor Ambuya Sekai Holland was threatened with a beating, we are told, if she did not side entirely with Uncle Morgan.
Now, if we are to beat up a 71-year-old woman to assert our own way, then isn’t that the dearth of our ubuntu or what? Where has respect for the elderly gone?
My word, next they shall be beating her up and not just threatening old ladies. Oh! Wait, they already did that with Mbuya Trudy Stevenson, did they not?
History does have a way of repeating itself.
