The Sunday Mail
The Sunday Mail Religious Affairs Editor Fatima Bulla spoke to Christian men on their views on lobola. This is what they had to say.
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I might be able to scrounge and pay what is required because I do want a union with the lady but would everything be rosy when I bring her into an empty house; no food, no basics just because I had to fork out a hefty sum for the in-laws? — Munya
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I think it raises expectation because the price you will be paying you end up telling the wife that you own her. And this causes high rates of violence. — Cosmas
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Some want to be rich through lobola. Nonsense. — Kunta Kinte
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Easy come easy go. I think as a man you really need to feel it so that you can value it. Divorce is on the rise because of infidelity and infidelity doesn’t have anything to do with lobola. So boys must pay their lobola by themselves as hard as it is, to enable them to graduate from boyhood to manhood. — Bla Gedza
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Our Shona culture says you don’t finish marrying in one day. In my own thinking you go with at least US$2 000 not to have nothing before paying rusambo. When you love each other money is not an issue. Your problem as men is you want to bling showing what you don’t have so they (in-laws) will raise the price. — Shava
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When Rebekah’s family saw gold they were keen to see the messenger (Genesis 24.30). Bling can haunt you because the lady will advise her family about the bling and they will charge at that level (CEO entry point), yet you are only an officer. Your girlfriend should know your true financial status. Young people nowdays are lazy. Be real and genuine, no bling otherwise it will cost you. A woman is priceless and no amount can match or buy her so let’s do the right thing. — Onwell
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To be told that because our daughter is a graduate then you pay lots of money is bad. Lobola is a token of appreciation not a means of ending your financial woes. —Innocent
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Some in-laws charge US$15 000 so they can finish paying lobola where they also married.
Another problem is women have a silent competition of saying who received the highest bride price, who had the most extravagant wedding. — Tinashe
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From experience I have assisted friends, young men and so on. In most cases the process was not that good with most of them thinking twice during the process. One of my friends told us he no longer wanted to marry and we had to console him.
Now if it comes to that I think it’s a bad way to start a family because it’s out of bitterness. And if you then find out that she had been deflowered or she has some critical shortcomings the reference point won’t be good. — Pastor Zeph
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I think as Christian fathers we should begin to revolutionise this lobola thing, and come up with our own standard not what is happening nowadays. – Terrence
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Paying lobola is not bad but not knowing what you are paying for is.
If you know your children have no discipline make it cheaper for the son-in-law. I don’t think it’s mostly an issue of lobola but secrets and lies. – Pardie
