United by our political sadomasochism

Bishop Lazarus
There was a man in ancient Europe who went by the name Diogenes of Sinope. The Bishop reads that he used to walk around in broad daylight, holding up high a lit lamp as if in search of something in the dark. When asked what he needed a lantern for during the day, he is said to have replied: ai???I am just looking for an honest man.ai???
He never found one.

You see, Diogenes of Sinope belonged to a movement called cynicism.
It counted among its earliest followers Antisthenes ai??i?? a contemporary of Plato and student of Socrates ai??i?? and Crates of Thebes.

Cynics adhered to a system of beliefs that focused on living a life of virtue and in agreement with nature. Almost like ascetics, they did not put much truck in power, wealth and carnal pleasures. Life was best lived simple.
And they were very acerbic, as noted from Diogenes of Sinope above.

It seems the cynics of today have inherited none of the traits and value systems of the cynics of old except for the caustic tongues.

For years, I thought Zimbabweans were among the most cynical people in the world today.
And this was odd for a nation so relatively young in the global scheme of things.

How does a nation become so cynical about everything it does, how it perceives itself and how the world perceives it in so short a space of time?

When an expert crop assessment says we could be in for a good maize harvest, we roll our eyes and flip to the sports section of the paper.

And at the sports section we groan with an ai???Iai??i??ve-heard-it-all-beforeai??? expression when the Warriors say they will make it through. (Ok, cynicism on the part of the Warriors is well deserved.)

So when Ambassador Aldo Dellai??i??Ariccia says there is no leadership crisis in Zimbabwe we balk and choke on our tongues.

One part of society is cynical because ai??i?? much like in the Warriors case ai??i?? we can barely trust anything coming out of Brussels.

There is something about the Judas Kiss in Dellai??i??Aricciaai??i??s comments.
But perhaps that is not so much cynicism as there is scepticism in the historically informed distrust of Europe. We have been bitten before, we are twice shy.

But there is no edification in the cynicism of the other section of society that baulks at Dellai??i??Aricciaai??i??s statement because they believe there is a leadership crisis in Zimbabwe.

A significant number amongst us are lovers of bad news. We always ask: ai???Can anything good come out of Bethlehem?ai???

Our national pastime is self-flagellation and an almost ritualistic self-immolation that has none of the Buddhistai??i??s divine purpose to it.

It is a political brand of sadomasochism that is best captured in the words of ex-diplomat Clifford Mashiri, who reacted to Dellai??i??Aricciaai??i??s statement thus: ai???To say that there is no leadership crisis is a big mistake and a betrayal. The failure of leadership by the ZANU-PF regime has even been noted by the late Nelson Mandela, and it has been seen in Zimbabwe where the country has been going down and down, even more since the last elections.ai???

This little Bishop had forgotten that Mandela is a saint, right up there with Paul ai??i?? salt of the earth stuff ai??i?? and his word is final.

How dare a mere ambassador contradict St Mandela and claim that we do not have a leadership crisis!
We are a nation of crisis, Mashiri insists, especially after elections last year in which the majority overwhelmingly voted for the leadership it desires.

There is a rabid desire to see continuous strife among Zimbabweans and between Zimbabwe and the rest of the world, the kind of permanent state of war that Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld and Cheney have in their wet dreams.

Look, Mashiri and Ibbo Mandaza (whose claim of ai???leadership failureai??? triggered Dellai??i??Aricciaai??i??s riposte), a European is seeing that in your own country which you do not see.

ai???If we had a leadership crisis there would be chaos. We still have a leader who manages to keep at bay (and) under control these forces that are very much contradictoryai??i??

ai???The civil society has a role to play but I have the impression that you are a little bit anchored to the past where instead of seeing NGOs one perceives AGOs, Anti-Government Organisations.ai???

What is so difficult to understand there? What kind of communion do these political sadomasochists need to cleanse them of their debilitating lack of self-belief? What manner of powerful exorcism is required to purge that evil spirit of self-denigration that so afflicts them?

It draws me to a very unsettling conclusion.
Perhaps President Mugabe is not the only factor that is holding this country together.

In his heroic task he is ably aided by our collective fascination and addiction to failure and bad news.
Our cynicism unites us: those wary of Dellai??i??Ariccia and those apoplectic about his remarks stand as one.
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