The status of children in Islam

Umari Stambuli Holy Qur’aan Speaks —
Children are the future of any community. Hence it is only natural that importance is given to their upbringing so that the aspirations of the community can be realised. If a community aspires to produce productive and responsible adults, it must invest in an educationsystem that inculcates good moral values in children in an environment free of all forms of abuse.

Islam has granted children certain rights to protect them from any abuse and/or exploitation. It is for the same reason that Islam emphasises the need to treat children with kindness and mercy. A child in Islam is regarded free from responsibility until he/she attains puberty, because it is at that age that a child becomes psychologically and physically mature enough to shoulder responsibilities. The following are some of the basic principles regarding the status of children in Islam.

Sound moral upbringing
All the Messengers of The Almighty and lastly Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) have stressed that the brief earthly stay of human beings is an introduction to the everlasting life of eternity. It, therefore, follows that greater attention is paid to the betterment of prospects in the life to come and attainment of happiness in the Hereafter in comparison to the affairs and interests of this life.

Thus, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has enjoined upon the parents to take care of the moral and religious instruction of their children from the very beginning, otherwise they will be called to account for negligence on the Day of Judgement. Parents must inculcate the aspect of God-consciousness in their children from an early age, where the children gain an understanding of duty to The Creator.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has said: “No father gives a better gift to his children than good manners and good character.” Showing of respect to one’s children denotes that they should be treated not as a burden, but a blessing and trust of Allah, and brought up with care and affection.

Status of girls
Daughters are considered an unwanted burden in some societies and instead of rejoicing, an atmosphere of grief and disappointment prevails in families at their birth. In the pre-Islamic times daughters were positively considered a shame and disgrace among the Arabs, so much so that even the right to live was denied to them. Many a hard-hearted parent used to strangle his daughter to death, with his own hands, when she was born, or bury her alive.

Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said, “Whoever becomes the father of a girl, he should neither hurt her nor treat her with contempt nor show preference over her to his sons in kindness and affection. (Both boys and girls should be treated alike). Allah will grant him paradise in return for kind treatment towards the daughter.”

Abu Saeed Khudri (one of the Companions of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh) relates that the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever bears the responsibility of three daughters or sisters or even two daughters or sisters, and bears it well, and looks after their training and welfare properly, and then, gets them married, Allah will reward him with Paradise.”

In such sayings and teachings, Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) has not only stated that kind treatment was the natural right or claim on the daughters, but, also that the Believers who fulfilled the obligation towards them in good and proper manner would be rewarded with Paradise in the Hereafter. He further gives the joyful tidings that such a man will be close to him, on the Day of Judgement, as the fingers of a hand are, when joined together.

All children equal
The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) has emphasised that parents should be just and fair to all the children, particularly in matters of gifts and kindness, and it must not be that while one gets more the other gets less or nothing. Besides being desirable in itself, equality to all the children also meets the demands of justice and equality which is pleasing to The Almighty. Besides, if discrimination is made among the children and one is favoured more than the other, it will lead to ill-will and jealousy, and nothing but evil can arise from this.

The child who is discriminated against will bear a grudge against the parents(s) – the painful consequences of which, are easy to imagine. Nu’man Ibn Bashir narrates, “My father took me to the Prophet (pbuh) and said (to him), ‘I have given a gift to this son of mine.’ The Prophet enquired, ‘Have you given the same to all of your children?’ ‘No,’ my father replied. The Prophet, thereupon said, ‘It is not correct. Take it back.’”

Parents are thus instructed not to discriminate among their children when it comes to giving them something as a gift etc. This has been condemned by the Prophet (pbuh) as unjust and unfair. The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said, “Treat all your children equally in regard to free gifts.

‘‘If I were to show preference in this matter, I would show it to daughters. (ie If equality was not necessary and binding, I would have declared more be given to daughters than to sons).”

It must however, be emphasised that the command applies only to normal situations where the preferential treatment is based on a consideration that is not lawful or justifiable in terms of the Law of The Almighty – otherwise no blame will be attached to it. For example, if a child is physically handicapped and cannot earn his livelihood like his brothers, a special favour on him will not be incorrect, in fact to a certain extent it will be essential and worthy of Divine reward.

Marital guidance
It is the duty of parents to guide and assist their children in the matter of marriage when they come of age. Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) has stressed that it should be taken seriously and with full sense of responsibility. He explained that when parents are blessed by the Creator with children they should give them good manners, good training, teach them good morals, and arrange (by providing sound guidance and advice) in the matter of their marriage when they attain marriageable age.

If they do not pay due heed to it and fail to assist in getting them married, on reaching marriageable age (due to negligence) and the children then take to ways that are forbidden, the parent is held responsible. But alas, we are growing increasingly indifferent to this important aspect of the lives of our children, mainly because we have made marriage a most tiresome and expensive affair by following and adopting the customs of others.

For further information on Islam or a free copy of the Holy Qur’aan, please contact:
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