The silent cry of married women

05 Jul, 2015 - 00:07 0 Views
The silent cry of married women

The Sunday Mail

0307-2-1-CONDOM-CONTRACEPTIONCondom use is not only a rarely used method but also one that is abandoned within the first few months of marriage by over half of married couples who try it.

Research has shown that marriage increases the frequency of sex and impedes a woman’s ability to negotiate condom use or abstain from sex. The use of condoms within a marriage seems to continue to be surrounded by a lot of controversy and in some cases deliberately misleading information.

It appears that there is a common belief, particularly among men, that the use of condoms does not belong in a marriage under any circumstances whatsoever.

Mrs Anna Zulu, who is abreast with the latest trends in contraception methods, expressed great concern on the future of women in terms of contraception.

“In most African settings, it’s difficult for a married woman to take up the initiative to use condoms as a contraceptive in her matrimonial home because it is regarded as a taboo. And besides, most husbands won’t agree to use one. But as a woman, I wouldn’t mind using one because I know I will be protected from several sexually transmitted infections,” she said.

“It’s worrying when I get to hear about such developments on issues that matter most to women. I don’t get to understand why women are always at the receiving end in everything that happens in the world?”

Faced with a lot of side effects from oral and injectable contraceptives, a recent study has shown that the most commonly used injectable contraceptive which has since been banned, Depo-provera, sparked the HIV transmission in women and twice the chances in men.

The only hope for women is to take up the initiative to use condoms in their matrimonial homes as a way of protecting themselves against the transmission of HIV and as well as a birth control method.

Mr Mark Nyambo quickly dismissed the use of condoms in his matrimonial home as unacceptable.

“I don’t see any reason why I should use condoms with my wife. If we are both faithful why should we use a condom? To me the use of a condom is totally unacceptable,” he argued. “Better still, the ultimate decision on usage of condoms, however, lies with the couple involved.”

Mr Nyambo also added that “if the contraceptives introduced to Africans are causing a lot of problems, why can’t people resort back to the traditional ways of birth control methods used by our forefathers?” The promotion of condoms for use within marriage for disease-prevention purposes is doubtful to succeed because of its direct imputation of mistrust.

Although, there are a number of alternative contraceptive methods that women can use as contraception, either hormonal or non-hormonal — these only help protect the woman from getting pregnant and not the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

Studies carried out by local organisations reveal that the majority of new HIV infections occur in stable relationships because it is more difficult to adopt preventative behaviour with a regular partner than an occasional partner.

Women’s rights activists feel that more still needs to be done to promote uptake of condoms in marriages.

Women and Aids Support Network executive director, Ms Mary Sandasi, said gender norms do not give women liberty to choose when and how to have sex in their marriages.

“Women generally have been socialised to believe that married women do not take charge when it comes to sex and they expect their male counterparts to do so and hence they find it difficult to negotiate for condom use,” she said.

However, Ms Sandasi hinted that her organisation and other partners are working with younger women in empowering them to negotiate for safer sex.

Many women do not have the social and economic power necessary to insist on condom use.

Condom use has been accepted to be the preserve for discordant couples, extra-marital affairs or casual sex.

According to national statistics in 2014, 104 million male condoms were distributed against the 5,2 million female condoms.

National Aids Council statistics state that women account for more than 60 percent of the 1,3 million people living with HIV/Aids in Zimbabwe.

Men who have multiple concurrent partners are more prepared to use condoms in their sexual relationships outside of marriage, and yet would be unwilling to do so with their wives at home.

Community Working Group of Health executive director, Mr Itai Rusike, said general awareness is required to address the anomaly.

“We need women empowerment to address culture. Married women don’t want to use it thinking it’s for sex workers. We need to address myths and misconceptions that use of a condom is for sex workers,” he said.

Greater condom use remains one of the most effective ways of checking the HIV pandemic in developing countries. Over the past decade huge efforts have been made to make condoms more widely accessible and acceptable. The major emphasis has been on their use outside marriage and some success has been achieved in this regard.

According to the Demographic and Health Survey 2010/11 condom use among married and those in long term relationships is low.

A UNAids report reveal that an estimated five million new HIV/Aids infections that occurred in sub-Saharan Africa in 2014, most were a result of heterosexual transmission. On the other hand, health experts posit that use of condoms in marriages bring direct benefits in terms of reduced inter-spousal HIV transmission.

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