The Sunday Mail
Umari Stambuli
A good friend is one who does not harbour anger, envy, hatred or malice against you and is always kind, loyal, generous, and regularly prays for you while wishing you good at all times.
ALLAH Almighty declares so emphatically, in the Holy Qur’aan: “Content yourself with (remain in the company of) those who pray to their Lord morning and evening, seeking His approval, and do not turn your sight away from them out of desire for the attractions of this worldly life. And do not yield to those whose hearts We have made heedless of Our remembrance, those who follow their own low desires, those whose ways are unbridled (and transgressive).” (Ch 18 : v 28)
Friendship / companionship plays a very important role in a person’s life. The influence that friends/companions have upon one’s character, conduct and speech is tremendous and one may not realise this until a period of time has lapsed.
Prophetic guidance
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) often raised the issue about the value of good friendship and companionship. He emphasised the need to surround ourselves with good people. It is worthy to note that people, who hold the same values and beliefs that we do, will indeed make the best friends and companions.
Differences of opinion, different lifestyles and interests may make our friendships interesting and sometimes challenging but if the core value system is not the same, the friendship itself probably has no solid foundation and can have a disastrous effect upon a person in the long run.
Common values and ethics lay the solid foundation and truly speaking a good friend is one who is tolerant of your mistakes or shortcomings and is forgiving, but at the same time guides and supports you in a respectful and sincere manner.
A good friend is one who accommodates your faults but corrects them where possible. A good friend is one who will love and forgive you for the sake of God Almighty. A good friend is one who does not harbour anger, envy, hatred or malice against you and is always kind, loyal, generous, and regularly prays for you while wishing you good at all times.
It is important to choose your friends carefully. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) warned the believers about this too. He said that a person would be influenced by his friends, and he warned that everyone should look carefully at those they consider to be their friends.
Believers as friends
Once we have found good friends it is important to keep and maintain their friendship. Believers are connected by their love of God Almighty and this surely entails certain responsibilities. A person must be prepared to overlook some of the faults of his/her friend and must be prepared to give them excuses for any incorrect or bad behaviour they see in them.
This, however, does not mean you should turn a blind eye to wrongful behaviour and sin. Not at all, rather it means that you must maintain the ties of friendship while seeking to understand their situation and helping as best possible to get them to rectify their bad ways, etcetera.
Believers must never embarrass or publicly harass one another nor indulge in exposing each other’s faults. Kindness and mercy must be evident in all dealings.
Furthermore, believers should never be envious of one another, they should always be happy when the blessings of God Almighty falling upon their friends and companions.
Influence of friends
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) further reiterated the issue of the influence that friends may have upon a person, when he gave the beautiful example of a good companion (friend) in comparison with a bad one to be like that of the perfume dealer and the ironmonger (blacksmith).
By remaining in the company of the perfume dealer, you may buy some perfume; he may give you some as a gift or you will at least get a good fragrant smell at all times. Whereas by remaining in the company of the ironmonger, you may get your clothes burnt with the flying sparks; you may feel the intensity of the heat whilst he is smelting/welding, etc. or at least you will get the bad smell of the fumes at all times.
What we can understand from this is that it is easy to be influenced by the people around us. It is easy to take on their mannerisms and qualities without even being aware of it. If these are good qualities then it is a good thing but what if the people you consider friends have pushed you away from the remembrance of God?
This could be a major disaster, and God Almighty warns about it in the Holy Qur’aan.
Severe regret for bad companionship
“And on the Day (of Judgement) the wrong-doer will bite on his hand (in regret), he will say: ‘Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! He indeed led me astray from the truth (reality) after it had come to me.’” (Ch 25 : v 27)
For further information on Islam or a free copy of the Holy Qur’aan, please contact: Majlisul Ulama Zimbabwe, Council of Islamic Scholars Publications Department, P.O. Box W93, Waterfalls, Harare/Tel: 04-614078 / 614004, Fax: 04-614003. e-mail: [email protected]
