Prophet Makandiwa is destroying my marriage

Makadini, Amai Chisamba. I am a 36-year-old man. I have been married nemukadzi wangu for 10 years. Dambudziko is, about six months ago mukadzi wangu akatanga kupinda tumachurch twechipentecostal twemazuva ano utwu. Avakunamatira kwaMakandiwa. Every Friday pamba haapo, hanzi ndiri ku all-night prayer. During the week everyday anodzoka husiku hanzi tanga tiri kuchurch. In addition to that she is now donating a sizeable portion of her salary to this pastor. I am very unhappy. If I try and correct her she responds arrogantly that says she must listen to God (Makandiwa) not to me. Ndaneta ini. I feel like beating her up kana kumudzorera kumusha kwavo.

Ndinotenda muchabatsira. — Husband, Kambuzuma

Response
Stop the blame game. Muwanano chaiyo vane combined budget saka iyo iri kunopihwa pastor iri kubvepi?

MuZimbabwe vanhu vakasununguka kunamata kwavada asi tinoti gavi rakanaka rinobva kumasvuuriro munoronga pamwe chete sehusband and wife. kukahadzika nenyaya ye all night prayer zviri kuratidza kuti hamuvimbane. Ko itawo wongororo yako inobatsira kuti kuri kuendwa uku kune chokwadi here?

I am a professional woman
Ndinovimba munofara, Amai Chisamba. I am a well-educated woman and I earn very good money. I have a managerial post and ndine zvinhu zvangu. What annoys me is that although I am the one who is putting a lot of food on the table, my husband expects me to come home and cook, wash, take care of the kids and so on. This is not fair.

Why can’t he do part of the work nekuti inini I am also helping him take care of the family? If I don’t give him money I know he will not be able to run the house. So if I am helping him muhubaba hwake ihwohwo why can’t he help me nebasa remumba?

If I try and ask him to cook or wash anoita hasha onditi ndiri kuda kumutonga. Kana roora iriyo inoita kuti vakadzi tishandiswe semhuka ini I am willing kumupa mari yake so we can live as equals in this home. I am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen in a house that I am paying for. — Charted Accountant, Johannesburg

Response
Please don’t forget your marriage vows, muwanano hapana ane chake. Chokwadi chinorwadza ndechekuti what you are referring to as your hard-earned cash is rightfully his too. Zvemabasa nemaduties emumba menyu zvinoenda nekuti imi munowirirana kuzvifambisa sei nekuti hapana mabasa echikadzi kana echirume zvinongoenda nekuti munoda kuti zvifamba sei. Mari yeroora ndeye vabereki saka iwe unoidzosera saani? Kana wadzosera zvinenge zvoreva kupera kwewananoka? Murume nemukadzi vanhu vakaenzana nenzira dzavo dzakasiyana maererano nerespect yavanopanana.

Mukadzi wangu haateereri
Nyasha dzaJesu Kristo kwamuri Amai Chisamba. Mudzimai wangu haateereri uye ane nharo. Ndikamuudza zvokuita anoda kumisidzirana chest neni kundiita challenge. But Bhaibheri shoko raMwari rinotaura kuti madzimai ivai pasi pevarume venyu: this is the Bible, the holy word of God. Mudzimai wangu anotopfeka uniform yekuchurch but shoko iri haana kurigashira muhupenyu hwake. She is so argumentative.

Last month ndakamuti aende kumusha kunowona amai vangu negrocery, haana kufara nazvo izvi akati achazoenda next month. I know she was not happy because anoda kuti nditenge grocery kumba kwavo but she has four brothers who work. Shuwa ndingachengetere varume vakuru amai vavo? Kwete, izvo ndakaramba. Nezuro ndakamurangaridza kuti mwedzi wava pedyo kupera agadzirire kufamba, ndavakuudzwa kuti handisi kunzwa mushe. Achiri mukadzi here uyu kana kuti ndatova nebhuru chairo mumba? — Christian, Harare

Response
Verse ramataura rakanaka asi hamuna kuripedzisa rese neiko? Hongu zvakashata kungoita nharo asi zvinotoda vanhu vaviri kuti mugone kukakavadzana. Uniform haireve kuti munhu akaponeswa i-identity yekuti anononamata kupi. Mumwe wenyu akanyarara kana kuratidza kuti kupopota hakupedzi nyaya zvinobatsira. Kana muri muwanano kwayo hamutarise mhuri dzenyu sekuti ihama dzemurume kana mukadzi. Rongai pamwe chete kuti mungabatsire vana mai venyu seizve panguva dzipi. Munhu waunoda haumbofi wakamuenzanisa nebhuru remombe. Rudo nerespect zvinotibatsira kushandisa mazwi kwawo pavadiwa vedu.

 Hanzvadzi dzomudzimai dzapaza musha wangu
Dear Amai Chisamba, please help me. Hanzvadzi diki mbiri dzomukadzi wangu came for a visit three weeks ago and have not left. Ndirikushaya kuti ndoitanga ndichiti kudini nyaya yacho. Even mabeers angu mufridge vanonwa madiro. What can I say ini ndiri mukwasha? DStv ndinotenga because I want to watch news dzana BBC, CNN and dzimwe dzemhiri but when I get home I find them vari pamberi peTV yangu vachiwona wrestling kana bhora vachiseka zvavo nehanzvadzi yavo. She does not see anything wrong with them overstaying in my house like this. Ndovadzinga sei? Ndashaya mufaro ini. —Husband, Harare

Response
Ivai munhu anosununguka nekutaura chokwadi zvikuru sei mumba menyu. Vakawanda vanowanzoti “feel at home kuvaenzi” ivo vakanganwa. Zvino vanhu havazoziva pekugumira. Imi muri kutadza kuudza vana tsano zvamunoda nekuti hamudi kunzi munonyima.

Nyaya iyi ndeye kutaura zvamunoda asi muchizviita muhuviri nemukadzi wenyu. Imi muri kutora mudzimai wenyu semutorwa.

TV iyoyo ndeyakewo zvinongoda kupanana mukana. Udzai vana tsano vamirire kupiwa pane kutora vega hazvina hunhu hwakanaka. Voparadza imba yehanzvadzi nezvenhando.

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