The Sunday Mail
The Sharp Shooter Vukani Madoda —
While the theatrical and absurd episodes of factionalism and succession politics unfold in Zanu PF, there can be no greater vindication than the realisation that the only political coalition this country will witness as the 2018 elections draw closer is the inevitable G40-Lacoste coalition.
Several months before the next election, G40 and Lacoste will form a deadly coalition that will decimate the opposition parties forever. Forget the social media banter we savour day-in day-out, the lawsuits and the caricaturisation of very high-ranking Government officials in national newspapers.
The real blockbuster movie is the way in which the opposition parties or the so-called Nera coalition has turned out. This is a classic tragicomedy of how a film based on true events is more captivating than fiction movies in the mould of PlayStation reanimation.
Morgan Tsvangirai and Joice Mujuru are like used oil and mud. Not only will they not mix, they also have slimy egos. They have gluttony for power but their greatest curse is that they are so dumb it hurts.
Mujuru lacks etiquette and basic principles of coherence. We all feel sorry for those who chose to follow her because of their wisdom or in spite of their wisdom.
As for Tsvangirai, anyone who does not know that a duller politician never existed must immediately stop breathing. Never before has the world witnessed such a political flip-flopper.
Today he will say he will not take part in the elections unless so-called reforms are implemented and tomorrow he will bravely announce his candidature for the very same election.
Today he will go to Gweru and caress Mujuru’s hand, threatening that a political coalition to push Zanu PF out of power is on the way and then tomorrow he will announce a single-minded resolution to fight it alone once more for the umpteenth time against Cde Robert Mugabe.
This veteran charlatan called Morgan Tsvangirai is the greatest charade that this country has ever endured. In typical loser’s fashion, he is always in his usual reactionary mode in a desperate bid to remain relevant despite his opposition tent crumbling right around him.
He has to deal with his former secretary-general Tendai Biti who constantly entertains himself by taking a swipe at his former boss. On the other hand, he has to endure elevating Nelson Chamisa to be his second-in-command despite having been accused of seeing shadows.
The very same pastor, Chamisa, whom he elevated, then bluntly insinuates that he is weak and anaemic. In spite of the fragments of the MDC, Tsvangirai continues to hold on to the crumbs, refusing to form a coalition because to this day he still dreams that one day he will be president of Zimbabwe.
Even the mention of a coalition with Mujuru or anyone in opposition unsettles him because he still wants to remain the big daddy in the little pond of a dried up Save river.
While Save is refusing to form a coalition with anyone, not even with those within his own party, pastor Chamisa is taking a leap of faith trying to curry favour from successionists within Zanu PF and the reason is clearly because his heart belongs to Zanu PF.
He is trying to find himself within the structures of the great party that is led by the great leader of wisdom. He is readying to dump the party of many election miscarriages, the party of coalition stillbirths and immobile movement as well as undemocratic democracy and stagnant change.
Watch him in Parliament, he sees himself as a fine, young and promising politician who Zanu PF could do with. He realises there is no future in opposition politics.
As a vibrant pastor-politician in his late thirties who has his whole life ahead of him, he certainly does not need to keep tarnishing his good standing associating with the moribund Morgan Tsvangirais of this world.
Zanu PF is noticing all this. As sure as we now know the existence of bond notes, we surely all know there will be no coalition of any sort in that political circus called Nera. Mujuru is doing her thing.
Tsvangirai is doing what he knows best and Chamisa is just waiting to pounce. Even the dogs that celebrated the Norton pyrrhic victory now understand that they drank from the poisoned chalice the day they thought of voting for the maverick Temba Mliswa in the ill-fated by-election. That episode accelerated the coalition crumble.
Surely, I am not the only one who is confused about the so-called opposition coalition that was being mooted throughout the year to unseat Zanu PF and President Mugabe. Neither am I the only one who was wondering why MDC-T was celebrating the Mliswa by-election victory.
As for the perplexing antics of jostling for positions within the ZimPF party, that is an opinion for another day. While Zanu PF may at present appear fractured, the real disillusionment will be the G40-Lacoste coalition.
In the absence of a coalition within the MDC-T party itself, and the absence of a coalition within ZimPF and other hocus-pocus political non-entities within Nera because of dishonesty, mistrust, suspicion and uncertainty; the hullabaloo about a coalition against Zanu PF has gone up in smoke and will be replaced by the fiery Zanu PF united front against enemies of the State.
With self-confessed regime change agents such as Obert Gutu, clearly the opposition parties are now an enemy of the State. Just take a strong look at the senseless and selfish ideas of the mulled 2018 coalition against Zanu PF. Take a strong hard look at Nera and see for yourself who amongst them can be trusted half as much as the MDC-T trusted Mliswa.
After that you will see that the real coalition will take place within Zanu PF against enemies of the State.
Dubulaizitha!
