My moody wife is gunning for my mother

Mai Chisamba
Thank you so much for this platform. I am a 44 year-old man, married with two teenager kids.

The boy is 19 and the girl is 17. We are a middle class family tine hupenyu hwedu. Of late my wife has been acting weird. We go to one of the main line churches and we are involved in most of the activities in different guilds. As a family we do not believe in things like going kun’anga and kuchurch dzekushandirwa under the trees.

I am yet to understand why my wife has all of a sudden started to go consulting these people. She is not the same woman I married some twenty years ago. She talks about crazy dreams dzimba dzakungo pfungaidzirwa mishonga. In each and every dream she portrays herself as the victim and most of the bad guys in the dreams are my family members especially my mother.

It’s like she is going mad or has some mental illness of some sort. She now frequents the home of a certain old woman popularly known as madzimai Thabhita kunoshandirwa. I am in the dark I don’t know what’s happening.

My kids were happy and full of life now they are withdrawn and look unhappy. My mother is due for her routine check up at the doctor’s surgery in the next fortnight.

My problem is she says once my mother comes she will go and stay at madzimai’s place until my mum goes back. She says pane zviri kuunza amai zvino mukuvadza. I wanted to go and tell our priest but then I don’t want to expose her yet she is in the ruwadzano executive committee.

Should I go and see this woman who is causing all these problems? My mother has done a lot for us and the kids I won’t stand to see her being labelled a witch. I will stand with my family if she does anything funny to them, we call it quits. She now has new strange friends and she is moody most of the time.

I am confused I need help and I don’t want my children to be misguided. I have since engaged munyai to tell her parents about this. My wife is a high school teacher.

Response

Thank you so much for your letter. I felt sad reading it. Instead of people growing up spiritually the opposite is happening and they are contradicting what their faith requires of them. Congregants should be content with what they believe in. They should be steadfast and not be swayed easily.

Dreams are very tricky, there are very few people who can boldly say they can interpret the meanings of dreams accurately. It’s a very complicated matter. Even during the days of king Pharaoh so many tried and failed until Joseph who was God sent managed to.

It defies all logic to think that a secondary school teacher can get so lost. She is supposed to be the role model and the enlightened educator to the hoards of students who pass through her hands. What a shame and what a waste of resources.

To quarrel over things that you can’t prove is awkward. Your wife should query why the bad guys are all from the husband’s family. If you have your own church then what triggered nyaya yekushandirwa shandirwa iyi? Why is she moody and moving about with new friends? Is everything in your marriage OK? Please I urge you not to go and confront madzimai because you don’t know the truth unopara mhosva. You deal with your spouse not with outsiders. It’s unfortunate that it’s also affecting the kids.

Engage a professional counsellor and get help. What is so special about your wife that most of your family members would want to attack her? Vashamiseiko? I hope your mum will not get wind of this because it destroys relations permanently.

Please arrange to see the counsellor before your mother comes. You can ask your priest and other church elders to come and pray with your family without elaborating a lot on what is really bothering you.

You need to up your game spiritually. I am glad you have also engaged munyai and your wife’s family to intervene. Work on your marriage it’s very important the word quit has no place where true love exists. When your spouse is lost you fight to win her back not the other way round. With prayer all things are possible. Say no to running away from your mother. Please keep me posted.