The Sunday Mail
The guy I love is Islamic
Hello Mai Chisamba. I am in need of your help with this decision that might change my whole life. I am a devout Christian, I have fallen in love with this perfect man, he is kind, loving, considerate and all I was praying for. The problem now is he is Islamic. I might have to convert to Islam if I get married to him. There are aspects of the religion that I agree with and some I don’t like, like they don’t celebrate Christmas. I don’t know what to do, I have prayed about it, but still I am confused. Could he be the man God has chosen for me? — Bee, Mabelreign
RESPONSE
Please come clean. Is your problem about Christmas or his religion? Munyika muno mune kusununguka kwekushumira muchitendero chesarudzo yako sedunga munhu. Kunyange tichikurudzira kuti muve muchitendero chimwe chete chine zviga zvakafanana. Hongu moyo muti unomera paunoda asi panoita zvinoda kugadzirisa apo ne apo.
Chekutanga koshesai zvamunofanana more than your differences eg sekuti mese muri vanhu zvekare munodaira kuti kuna Musikavanhu (God or Allah). There is power in prayer kana wakakumbira kuna Mwari sekudaira kwauri kuita unozokahadzika neizve? Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti budiranai pachena kuti murudo rwenyu munoda kuti ane chitendero chake amire nacho here kana kuti mowirirana kusarudza chimwe chete. You need to be very honest about this and it should come from within otherwise it will destroy your relationship.
Rudo rwakakosha haisi drama yekuti tombodai tozodai zvakakosha zvawati he is kind, loving, considerate and chipondamoyo. Sight of hubby makes me want to puke
Lately I have come to detest married life. I have fallen out of love with the person who I thought I would want to spend my life with. I don’t feel anything anymore, his touch revolts me and I am disgusted when I touch him. I throw up at the thought of touching him. I hate even being intimate with him. I no longer feel anything.
We hardly talk because I don’t have anything to say to him because he belittles and criticises me. I don’t feel an ounce of respect for him, he does not deserve it. I want out of the relationship but we have a child together — a beautiful daughter but I will have problems because my mother-in-law tells me to shingirira ndizvo zvinoita dzimba. So should I keep on being in a relationship that is unhappy and unsatisfying? I haven’t told anyone about this. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.
Right from the onset the marriage has been rocked and plagued by problems and I do not see it going anywhere. Inini wacho I got married for the wrong reasons. I accidentally fell pregnant and you know how your own ilk gladly push you away. Please Mai Chisamba help, I am in a quandary. — Shuvai.
RESPONSE
Ah! Shuvai throwing up kurutsa chaiko kusema murume wako kusvika pakadaro. Shuvai tsamba yako izere hasha nehuturu ndinovimba haurutsire mhinduro yangu.
Hauna kundiudza kuti anonyanyo kushora nekukudzikisa nekudukupisa nenyaya yeiko?
Ndikatarisa kwamakatangira uri kutoti wakaroorerwa nhumbu you are right this was a wrong reason people should only marry for love.
Bonde musati mapinda muwanano kazhinji rine mhedzisiro yataisimboreva. Wanano haisi yekushingirira nekuti upenyu. Wanano haide mapitse ekuti mumwe achiti haivhiiwe mumwewo achiti haivhiiwe.
Tsvagai chipanga mazano akadzidzira basa rekukurukura nevanhu ane hana yakadzikama anoziva tsindidzo mumbotaura zviri pasi pemoyo. Kuparara kwewanano kunorwadza imi vaviri, mwana wenyu hama neshamwari. Haidi kungofuma yakadonha sedamba. Hurukuro inorapa kuremekedzana nekudanana mushonga mukuru muwanano zvinhu zviedzwaChild is not happy with step-mom
Ini ndakasiyana nemudzimai wangu wekutanga gore rapera. Takanga tine mwana mumwe chete, musikana ane five years. Pandakaita re-marry ndakanotora mwana wangu sezvo mai vake vasingashande vakanga vakugara kumapurazi.
I felt I didn’t want kuti mwana wangu akure achishupika. Mukadzi wandave naye akatambira mwana wangu zvakanakisa uye hapana chandinoona chaanotadza. Asi mwana wangu anotaridza kusasununguka, anogara akanyarara achingopindura kana ndataura naye. Dzimwe nguva mudzimai wangu akabika, mwana anorutsa chikafu chese. Handichaziva kuti akagadzirwa here namai vake? Kana kuti pane zvavakamuudza, kana kuti kana ndisipo mwana haabatwe mushe? Ndikamubvunza anoti hapana. Zvave kundishaisa hope. —Brian, Mhondoro
RESPONSE
Kuparara kwewanano kunosiya mavanga anorwadza munguva dzakawanda. Ndinoda kukutenda nekutaridza rudo nehanya nemwana wako. Chaunofanira kuziva kuti mubereki mubereki anokosherwa nemwana wake. Nyaya yekuti pamwe akagadzirwa naamai vake haireve chinhu. Mwana akaenda kunzvimbo yaasina kujaira kana kwaasingawane rudo rwakakwana anogona kuita seapusa kutadza kudya kana kutotanga kutotesa magumbeze pauriri kana mubhurukwa.
Imboongororai kuti hapana chiri kumushungurudza here nekuti mwana anoratidza zviri kutoitika chaizvo she will not pretend as adults do. Endai naye kuchipatara anovhenekwa pada ari kurwara sezvo ari kungorutsa rutsa. Ko pamunogara apa pane vamwe vana here vezera rake hapana zve here zvikomana zvinemusikanzwa zvingango bhinyawo mwana uyu. Kurudziro kwauri Brian ndeyekuti marriage is about trust. Kuwanano yakare urikuti pamwe mai vemwana vakamugadzira sekunge anga akabvaruka, kuwanano itsva urikuti pamwe haasi kubatwa zvakanaka hupenyu hunoda vimbo. Fiancées family interfering
I’m a single man aged 30 staying in Harare, my girlfriend stays in Bulawayo. She happens to be the breadwinner kumba kwavo. My issue is her mother now seems to be discouraging her from being with me because then she will have to move to Harare with me and possibly quit working if we start a family. Ini hangu honestly ndotochengetawo vanin’ina vangu. I can’t promise musikana wangu kuti ndichazokwanisa kuramba ndichichengeta isu, my brothers plus mai vake futi. Zvinondiremera. — Kudzi, Marondera
RESPONSE
Kudzi, take it easy, hupenyu hunoda one step at a time. Please don’t put words into your would-be mother-in-law’s mouth. Usapinde muwanano uchiona zvikwata zviviri zvehukama nekuti zvinozonetsa kugashira.
Kana mapinda muwanano munenge mave nyama imwe chete kana ukama hunenge chave chinhu chimwe chete. Mukuronga kwenyu ndimi munototi rwendo rwuno tobatsira ani zvichienda nekugona kwenyu.
Usatange nekupopera, hupenyu imhindu pindu.
Ukagara waisa mugano wekuti ini ndinochengeta vanin’ina vangu, ko basa rikapera mudzimai akasara ari iye ari kushanda? Ko pamwe anokwidziridzwa kubasa utoti chiregai baba ndibatsire. Manhanga chenga ose hapana risina mhodzi, usatarise zvakawanda panguva ino, dananai, remekedzanai, mogarisana murufaro. Bhora pasi Kudzi.Long distance affecting my marriage
Makadii Mai chisamba, ini ndiri mukadzi ane makore 27, ndakaroorwa nemurume wangu mushure mekunge ndaita pamuviri makore maviri apfuura. Nokuda kwekunetsa kwemabasa akabva aenda kuBotswana kubasa akandisiya pamba pevabereki vangu. Ini ndakasara ndikapona mwana asipo. Mari anotumirawo pano nepapo zvichienderana nekushanda kwaanenge achiita. Kuno kuZimbabwe anouya kamwe chete pagore. Zvave kundinetsa, Mai Chisamba, kuti kusvika rinhi tichirarama uyu kwake uyo kwake? Ndichaitawo imba yangu riinhi? Ndodii? — Prisca, Mutare.
RESPONSE
Hupenyu hwekugara kure nekure muwanano hauna mufaro kana utano, mazuva ano kune hurwere hweshuramatongo nezvimwewo zvinogona kuuya mumashure memiedzo yakasiyana siyana. Kunetsa hako kwemabasa, hazvidi kudaro. Mutsika nemagariro haufanire kunge uri kuvabereki vako, asi kuhama dzemurume wako kana dziripo. Izvi hazvina kunakira kunyangwe mwana nekuti ikodzero yekuti mubereki ave muhupenyu hwemwana wake.
Mari yemhuri anofanirwa kutumira zvakakwana, kana zvisiri kuitwa nemazvo endai nechichemo kucourt.
Hauna kundiudza kuti vari kushanda zvine permit here kana kuti ikiya kiya. Baba kana vachishanda zviri pamutemo vanofanira kukutorai mugare mese.
Wanano inoda kuronga upenyu pamwe chete asi chikuru chayakasikirwa kugara pamwe chete semurume nemukadzi.My boss is neglecting her husband
I am a lady aged 25. I work as a live-in maid. I have been with this family since I was 20 and in these five years ndaona zvakawanda. Mukadzi wandoshandira I don’t think she deserves murume waanaye. Ane nungo, haamuremekedzi, haana nguva nemwana wavo. Kazhinji tinosiiwa maweekends nemwana nadaddy iye oenda kumakitchen party nemachurch meetings ake. Ini nadaddy we have grown so close but hatina zvakaipa zvatati tataura. I feel murume uyu is lonely uye arikudzvinyirirwa. Ndikadanana naye ndinganzi ndatadza here? After all, hapana arikumuda iye zvese nemwana. — Talent, Masvingo.
RESPONSE
Why are you crying more than the bereaved? Iwe ndiwe wabvawaona kutadzirwa kwadaddy? Vakuru vanetsumo inoti gonye rikagarisa mudanga nairo rinoti imombewo. Iwe ramba uchingoyeuka kuti mumba umu uri mushandi nemubatsiri.
Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti, don’t get too familiar nababa, unozochema senjiri. Kana ukavada unenge waputsa imba yavo todzokera paye pekuti mhandu yemukadzi mukadzi. He will just take advantage of you and dump you. Ko sei usingambo kurukura namai uchivaudzawo maonero ako ekuti baba vari kusurukirwa.
Mukadzi anoda murume achiziva kuti anemudzimai wake, aiwaka ipfambi. Muongororo netsvakurudzo varume vakawanda vanopedzesera varoora vashandi vavo havazombogona kuvaremekedza unongotarisirwa pasi zvichinzi ndakatokuitira favour yekuzorarawo kumain bedroom, to him it’s like wakapihwa promotion. Talent, tsvagawo wako ugomuitira zvese zvauri kutaura izvi. I’m sure you will make a good wife — usaraure mudish — Good luck.
