The Sunday Mail
Ndakadyiswa here?
Mai Chisamba, thank you so much for your column. Please don’t get me wrong. I am a Christian and I go to church, I tithe. I am a father of three lovely children.
I love my wife, but my worry is mbuya vangu vakati ndakadyiswa. I was really shocked to hear her say this, zvanzi mai vangu vavakutadza kurara nenyaya iyoyi. Mbuya vakati vakazvibata kumapostori and this is the reason why my wife has an upper hand when it comes to finances.
I used to be a drunkard and irresponsible father, but my wife was so patient with me. Ndaidhakwa zvekungoitira even mumagumbeze, my wife would do the laundry silently. The truth is my wife has come a long way. I was an abusive husband, this is a true testimony and it’s coming from my heart. Zvese zvandaitadzira mumwe wangu ndakaregedza and I regret. I turned over a new leaf through my wife’s efforts and converted to true Christianity.
In our family ndainzi ndiri rombe asi zvese zvakapera. I will be very honest with you, Mai Chisamba, nyaya yekudyiswa inoita kuti ndiganduke. Zvanzi vakaudzwa kuti ndakadyiswa kapuppy kanga kasati kasvinhura that’s why ndapusa so. In our home we have a combined budget and my wife is in charge but we agreed because mazuva angu edoro anga ayeredza musha. Please help, should I confront my wife?
Could it be true kuti ini Mhofu yemukono ndakadyiswa kambwa? This is killing me.
Response
Thank you for writing in and congratulations for turning over a new leaf, it’s very noble to do that.
It’s refreshing to hear someone saying they love their wife and kids. I rarely hear about this nowadays. This is how it should be all the time, that’s the normal thing.
Congratulations once more for a true and touching testimony.
Nhai Mhofu, muri kutyiswa kudya kahanda (puppy) kasina idi rinobatika imi maiitira ndove mumagumbeze, zvinotyisa ndezvipi?
You have turned over a new leaf, please don’t let anyone distract you again. During the bad boy era you wasted a lot of your kissing time and you were not there for your children most of the time.
These people crying foul today are the very people who used to call you names. Zano munotopangwa muine renyu. You say you converted to true Christianity and this means you and your life are in the hands of the owner of the universe, how come you are scared of kakutu? Makambozvibvunza here kuti vanamai vaitsvagei kumapostori? Is there any scientific evidence in this whole story? Why are they accusing your wife of this?
My advice is don’t sink to their level, you have done well, don’t look back wakabveko kumhunga hakuna ipwa. Pawainzi rombe, ndiani akamira newe?
Budirai mai nambuya kuti hamuchade nyaya dzekumashope-shope mave kunamata muidi nemuzvokwadi.
Love your wife and children, continue to be a born again responsible husband. — Good luck Mhofu
What a twist?
I am confused, I don’t know how to handle this one. Please help. I am a married man and blessed with four kids.
We have wonderful neighbours but ndipo pakauya naSatan. My wife is a full-time housewife, my neighbour’s wife works in town and my male counterpart anoshandira the opposite direction. This couple had a car but they have been grounded for the past four months nenyaya yespare part irikushaikwa.
Every morning mai vepanext door goes to the bus stop, havandikumbire lift although most of the time I offer her. It’s hard to pretend not to have seen her.
A few weeks ago my wife started some silly game yekutaura nemadimikira. Zvanzi ko vanonetsekerei kunyepera kunokumirira kubus stop, munodini kungo takurana pano?
To begin with I dismissed this as a sick joke, but now I see my wife is really offended. I tried to explain, but it was fuelling the issue up. Zvanzi vakaudzwa nemadzimai emu line kuti muri kuvharwa.
Mai Chisamba, there is absolutely nothing between me and this woman. Pandinomira pabus stop picking a few passengers havatomhanyire kumota ndini ndinotovadana and I don’t make her pay.
My worry is, how do I put this to rest? Who else do I address, her husband or my wife? Munongozivawo nyaya ikabuda nemumaline yatoshata. Please help.
Response
Before I answer your problem let me say please be advised that the law of the land does not allow you to go about picking people from bus stops in your private car.
Your vehicle is not registered to do that, ndiwo mushika-shika, hautendedzwi.
Back to your issue, I really don’t understand why some people make life so difficult for themselves.
The truth, as you say, there is nothing between you and this woman is enough. You know you can simply discuss this issue as neighbours kungoti mota yenyu zvaisikufamba mai pavanoda lift ngavauye ndivabatsire, zvekuvatorera kubus stop zvinounza mutauro nekufungidzira.
You are your conscience, as long as this is clear, don’t worry about what people may say.
Rongai zvamunoda sevavakidzani. Neimwe nzira zvinoita kuti the other couple itsvage spare part nekukasika, vonyara.
I understand you and what you are going through, muvakidzani ihama mukugarisana kwedu.
The second option is change the route, it may be slightly longer but it will give you peace of mind.
Your wife should understand that marriage is about trust. How reliable is source yekumaline?
Mai ngavarege kudzikisa wanano yavo vachitaura nezvemurume wavo pese pese.
Communication is one of the main pillars of a healthy marriage saka havafaniri kutaura chibhende.
Love is a job, hazvizi nyore kuti angobatsirwa kana kutakurwa nemota patomuka rudo.
How well do you know your spouse? I have given you two options, take your pick and see which one works. — Good luck.
Phone tearing us apart
Mai Chisamba, I love your column, I enjoy the way people open up to you. We are a young couple, been married for two years and expecting our first baby.
The point at issue is that our cellphones are tearing us apart. Murume wangu anoita sekunge achanamata phone yake, he doesn’t want to put it down. Ndikamuti ndimboonawo ma messages arimo, haadi, asi ini ndinomupa yangu even if he doesn’t ask for it.
Ine password and he keeps it a secret, can you imagine, Mai Chisamba?
Last week I said let’s swap our phones for a day, mufunge akaramba.
Could he be hiding something from me?
What’s so special about his phone?
Ini izvi zvaakutondishaisa mufaro and it’s beginning to affect our relationship. Please help, is this normal?
Response
Thank you for reading our column and welcome to the real world.
Why are you worried about his phone and why do you want it so much?
Phone yemunhu ndeyake, you say you give him yours even if he does not ask for it, aiwaka ndiwo madiro aGeorgina, kuda kwako.
It’s not right to demand to see your spouse’s messages and whatever.
Imi secouple kuwirirana nekunzwana kwenyu ndimi munotozvipira kuti munodairirana here maphone kana swapping yamanga muchareva paya .
Most people use mobile phones as business tools, so it’s not good for clients kuti nhasi ina amai, mangwana ine mwana and so forth.
Two years into marriage, makurumidza, asikana, marriage is a life-long journey and it needs a lot of trust.
In your letter you did not tell me why you don’t trust your husband, you are just fussing about his phone.
What makes you want to read his messages? Ukatsvaga makudo mugomo unomawana. Mutsamba mako ndashaya chiri kukunetsa.
Please write again and tell me why zvanetsa.
I have a feeling you did not tell me everything. If you need help then let me know what’s bothering you.
Kungoti unoda phone yake nekuti anoikoshesa nokuivigiridza, it’s not enough. Keep well and be of good cheer, baby needs a happy mother.
Lastly ukangorega kuita basa nephone yake unotoona yosiiwa pese-pese, just ignore and carry on in your normal way. — Good luck!
