Mudzimba with Mai Chisamba: I can’t free myself from sugar daddy

01 Mar, 2015 - 00:03 0 Views
Mudzimba with Mai Chisamba: I can’t free myself from sugar daddy MUDZIMBA with Mai Chisamba

The Sunday Mail

I can’t free myself from sugar daddy

THANK you for your platform, Mai Chisamba. I am a 23-year-old young and virgin lady at a local university.

The problem is that last year when we were kuma sports I met a certain guy who proposed love to me and it took me about five months to accept his proposal as I was trying to verify everything about him but hapana chandakaona, varume know how best to conceal things.

I can say we were deeply in love until recently when I got the shock of my life when I received a call from his wife saying she has been going through our WhatsApp conversation with her husband and told me to leave him or else “urikuzofa ndiri muzukuru wen’anga” as she clearly explained.

Mai Chisamba, for real I am failing to dissociate myself from him. I haven’t slept with him. Aah zvinoita varumeka, please help me I’m failing to focus, I’m really hurt. When I talked to him about it he just apologised and admitted, and again continued to do everything he did for me. Yes it may sound silly for someone to continue mujoko rakadai but ndiri kurevesa and I really need help because handisi kuzvidawo but ndorwadziwa kumusiya since I tried it several times zvichiramba kushanda. My mom will be disappointed kunzwa zvakadai, I’m the only girl kumba kwedu, Mai Chisamba, worse still I’m last born. I don’t want to disappoint my mom and the wife also but problem shuwa ndatadza kusiyana naye. Handisi kuzvida, I even pray about it ndotombomu blocker pa phone but after about three weeks will end up takutaura tese.

Aah I’m fed up handichada, I try to move on but I end up turning down one’s proposal, of which vanenge vachitova ve age yangu, unlike that 10-year gap between me and the man. It’s not like I keep on hanging because he brings gifts, etc, no. Hapana chandisingaitirwe kumba. Ndinoenda nezvese kuchikoro kumba vanoita zvidavado kuti ndive mwana pane vamwe but zvinenge zvatovawo nemhepo handizvide ini please help me.

Response

Thank you for writing in. At 23 you are still very young to be involved munyaya dzema small house especially that you now know. Instead of clinging to this man you should be thanking the Lord that you discovered this before you slept with him or even fell pregnant. You are right kuti varume vanogona kuvanza hupenyu hwavo but the oldest trick is to insist to go to his house every now and then.

Get to know his inner circle of friends and a few relatives unozvibata chete. Now that you know the truth about this cheat why can’t you set yourself free? This is a shameful relationship, if he is cheating on his life partner, his wedded wife, why can’t he cheat on you? Please put on your thinking cap kani.

If you really want you can walk away from this guy but you have a problem, you are both greedy and lustful. This guy has admitted that he is married, mind you he is not going to divorce his wife for you saka zvozodini? I felt sick when you said your mom would be disappointed, what about you? We are talking about your life not your mother’s.

Have you ever heard about HIV and AIDS and so many other diseases that are caused by engaging in multiple relationships? Hapana mhepo apa, iwe ndiwe mhepo yacho watadza kumhara uchibvuma chokwadi.

Are you aware that the wife can use the law and sue you for adultery? Do you know this man can rape you? This guy is simply taking advantage of you and many other girls vanodawo twunhu sewe, who knows. You say it may sound silly to continue with this joke, the truth is it does not only sound silly, it is indeed.

The only person who can help is you so for goodness sake do yourself a favour and move on. Chimboedza kunamata kuna Mwari mupenyu, there is power in prayer and you will get the deliverance you need. Good luck.

 

Siblings won’t co-operate

Mai Chisamba, I hope I find you well. Mine is not quite a problem but confusion.

I come from a very good background, a family of two daughters and two sons. Three of us are degreed and one did A-Level. We are all majors and don’t stay with our parents anymore. Our parents are both retired and they now don’t have that much money anymore.

Mai Chisamba, I don’t mind assisting my parents but what bothers me is I am the only one who helps out. I am the third born in my family. Ivowo vabereki pese pavanoda chinhu they request from me. Why can’t my siblings see that I am burdened, I can’t run two homes, after all I am not an only child.

I also assist kumadzitezvara because my wife says her parents should be taken care of as well. I just can’t continue like this? How do I get my siblings to take part in the caring of our parents without offending them? Please help, I want to do it in such a way zvekuti amai vangu havazvinzwe, vane chiramwa chisingaite vangatoti tisiyeyi takadaro. Most people say daughters are close to their parents and will do whatever it takes to help them out, but this is different with my sisters, havana kana shungu, instead vanotodyira vabereki zvinenge zvabva kwandiri.

Response

I am very well, thanks for asking. In my personal opinion I think there is a very thin line between a problem and confusion. First and foremost, let me say when it comes to parents you don’t need to wait upon other siblings; you just do the best you can as if you were an only child.

The Bible supports that and you will definitely get your blessings from the Almighty for fulfilling this. You don’t know why your parents call upon you in times of need. I will answer that one as a parent. It’s much easier and less stressful to deal with a child who listens and willingly helps solve problems.

Parents know their children and even the way they would respond to their requests. So instead of complaining and wondering why, be happy and know that you are their pillar of strength and their troubleshooter. It’s unfortunate that you feel burdened; I know you can only do so much. My advice is: do whatever you can but always let it come from the heart.

Don’t worry about the rest of the siblings, hupenyu idungamunhu, vabereki vanozviona. You must thank the Lord because your parents are not the demanding type; they wait to be given, vamwe vanonetsa zvekutosvika pakuparadza dzimba dzevana nekuda twunhu.

The second option around this issue is not my favourite; I am not a big fan of kanzatu. Communicate with the other siblings and come up with a plan where each one of you will take a turn to help the parents. You can go the kanzatu way (contributions) or whatever method you choose. Mind you in a normal set-up no one should ever be reminded to help their retired parents, igaroziva wani. Zvekanzatu zvine mitauro nekuti zvizhinji ndezvekumanikidzirana kuti mari yakati panguva yakati. Be of good cheer and remember when you do good you do it for God. Good luck and keep me posted.

Is my father-in-law a crook?

Thank you very much for your column, I enjoy it and am hoping that my letter will be picked.

My father-in-law’s car broke down and he requested to use one of our cars while his mechanic worked on his. I agreed because I knew it was just a temporary arrangement. My in-law’s car has since been fixed but he does not want to bring back mine. Nowadays that’s the car they use on daily basis.

Last week I sent my driver to go and get the car, the answer was tiri kuishandisa. I asked my wife to intervene, but she said hasha dzababa unodziziva. Am I missing something here? Ko hasha dzei pamota yangu? My mother-in-law is trying hard to avoid me and I just don’t know what’s happening. I don’t owe them anything, so I am baffled. I sent an email and he didn’t respond. Asi chii nhai? I told my parents and all hell broke loose ndakazoti please hold on because my father was saying chirega iite nyaya yevabereki. Please I can’t make head from tail.

Response

Thank you very much for writing in. I must admit I am just as confused as you are. I don’t know why he does not want to bring back your car since his has been fixed.

Your wife is not being helpful either but I think she knows more than we anticipate. What I would say is cars are some of the few things that one should not lend, it’s just too risky, pasina zvekuti vanorambira one can be involved in a nasty accident or the car may be stolen.

In your case you were dealing with family members and everything was on course. Please don’t let this tear your families apart, you need each other, after all you can fight your own battles you are a major. My advice is go and confront your father-in-law, stop sending other people or emails, he should give you a reason why he is behaving in such a way.

Go with someone who is not very emotional because you need a witness. If this does not work then go to the police, let the law protect you and your assets.

This may not go down well with your wife but if push comes to shove then the legal way is the only route to take. Tezvara havazi vakuchiva mota yemukwasha here apa? Baba should be a role model not kuitawo se tsotsi.

Even if you owed him anything, he is still in the wrong because that’s not the way you recover your things. I would want to hear from you again. Good luck.

Write to: [email protected] or WhatsApp (only) 0771415747

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