The Sunday Mail
THE Lord God formed and equipped men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal, that of honouring Christ.
Each role carries exclusive privileges and there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other. So when you allow your husband to be the head of the home, through submission, he can then play his part well.
Apostle Paul put it this way, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be; to their own husbands in everything”. “Ephesians 5V21-24”
The Biblical principle of headship means:
Leadership in love
The model is the leadership of Christ over the Church manifested in his willingness to sacrifice himself for its sanctification, purification and glorification. That is the way a man is to be head of his wife, by loving her with sacrificial and unconditional love of Jesus. Your love for your wife must remove her inner wounds and hurts and bring out the best in her character. Your wife should not be suppressed but enriched through your relationship with her. God calls us to exercise our headship by being first in forgiving our spouses’ mistakes, first in nurturing and building our marital relationship, first in assuming responsibility for the physical, social, emotional and spiritual needs for our wives and children.
Leadership in service
According to Matthew 20:28, headship in the Bible presupposes a leadership of service. Christ is the head of the Church because he came not to be served by the church but to serve her. Your headship of sacrificial love as a husband is manifested especially through your willingness to serve your wife and children. A husband fulfils the headship of service by leading, encouraging, protecting, providing and caring for his wife and children.
Leadership as management
The husband as the head of the home is its manager. The husband is not to answer every question or think every thought for his wife – exactly not that. Rather he is to recognise that God gave him a wife to be a helper and say, “She has certain abilities.” If I am going to manage my household well I must see that every last one of those gifts is developed and put to use as fully as possible”.
He will not want to squash her personality, rather he will seek to bring it to the fullest flower. In a well ordered family, a husband exercises his headship by delegating responsibilities. Also it involves taking into consideration the ideas, talents and convictions of the wife and children. To be the head of the house means to be more than a man occupying the captain’s quarters and barking out orders. Rather it means to shoulder the responsibility for giving informed and intelligent direction to the family.
Leadership as a provider
It is the husband’s responsibility to provide his wife and children with food, clothing, shelter and educational opportunities. 1 Timothy 5 v 8 says: “if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his own immediate family he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Providing a living for our families is not a valid substitute for sharing our personal lives with them. Our wives marry us, not our pay cheques or the things we bring for them. What women miss the most is not the pay cheque, but the personal attention, presence and fellowship of their husbands.
Give her no excuse to be tempted to look for another man willing to give her time and attention. Be different, don’t be like some men who may be home yet ignore their wives by being totally absorbed in reading the newspaper or watching a game on television. There is time for everything. Give her quality time more than you give to other activities.
Leadership in discipline
and instruction
As the head of the home, the husband must take responsibility for the moral and spiritual development of the family. You need to enforce proper discipline to assist to the character development of the child. Avoid abdicating your responsibility as the moral and spiritual leader of the home, expecting your wife to fulfil these functions.
This may cause the children to suffer because they are deprived of the important role of father as the authority figure and leader of the home. The wife may resent your inability to function as the moral and spiritual head of the family and you may react to your failure by seeking fulfilment outside home, resulting in a strained marital relationship. Remember your commitment to your marriage covenant is fundamental to its success.
Leadership as lawmaker and priest
The father is in one sense the priest of the household, laying sacrifices upon the alter of God. He must not betray his sacred trust to be the lawmaker and priest of the home. As a husband, you are ultimately responsible for the moral and spiritual development of your family.
Children naturally look to you for moral direction. So be involved in the discipline of your children and take responsibility for any of your children’s behavioural problems that cause emotional stress to your wife. Serve as the priest of the home by leading the family in a daily worship experience. By bringing the family together for worship, you teach your family members to look up to God for wisdom and strength and make God first and supreme in their lives. Family worship is the centre of a family’s spiritual commitment.
Apostle Kanyati is the founder of Zoe Life Ministries and Grace Unlimited. Email feedback at [email protected] or WhatsApp 0772987 844.
