Mai Chisamba: Mukomana handichamuda

MUDZIMBA WITH MAI CHISAMBA

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Question: Mukomana handichamuda
Munofara here? Ini ndiri mukadzi ane makore 32, ndanga ndichigara neboyfriend yangu for the past two years after we both agreed to stay together.

Pataimboonana tiri kwake kwake things were a lot better.

Takavimbisana kuroorana muna September gore rino asi aah maiwe haaite!

Kushusha chaiko munongokunzwa imi, hapana chakanaka chandinoita as far as he is concerned.

My dressing is an issue, my phone, my friends, my relatives, my work and my everything. Ini handichada hangu kuroorwa kwacho.

Ndakanoona vana tete vangu vaviri vakatondipengera kuti une shavi, ndosaka wachembera usina murume.

Makore maviri andagara naye ndinofunga kuti kupika jeri kurinani. Ndave ne very low self esteem because I am so confused, I don’t know whether it’s him or me, vana tete vakatowedzera.

Mai Chisamba ndoroorwa here kana kuti kwete zvinhu zvakadai? Please reply.

RESPONSE

Hupenyu idungamunhu sezvandinogarotaura. You don’t marry to please other people. Marriage is a personal life-long commitment. Kana uchipinda muwanano pinda pfungwa dzako dziri pamwechete. Kana musiri kuwirirana then it means you are two different people, don’t continue to waste your time.

Iwe wega wati hauchada kupinda muwanano naye, vamwe vanhu vese they must respect your decision.

Mutsika nemagariro hatikurudzire kubika mapoto sezvamuri kuita nemukomana wako, zvine zvakawanda zvinoisa vanhu muna ndaisireva.

Warwadziwa nekupika jeri retwo years sekutaura kwako, ko kuzoti reupenyu hwese? Kuroorerwa zita hakuna pundutso. Michero yewanano kwayo kufara, kugutsikana, kudanana, kuchengetana nekunzwirana.

Marriage is not a cat and mouse game, leave this guy, you are better alone than with a false friend. Zveshavi rataurwa iri handingazive hangu asi handifungi kuti unaro. My advice is please keep your pride and be responsible.

Nyika yave nemazino mukapota muchiita zvemapoto izvi uchiti nhasi apa mangwana apa unorumwa. Please be warned.

Question: My wife does not respect me

Mai Chisamba makadini? Ndinotedza dzidziso dzenyu both paTV and paSunday Mail, muri kuita basa. Nyaya yarwadza ndeyekuti my wife does not respect me at all.

I am very particular about what I eat but mudzimai wangu haabatikane nazvo, sisi ndivo vanobika mazuva ose. Pamusana penungo akatoendesa maid wedu kucourse yekubika.

Ini handidi kubikirwa nemushandi ndakaroora ini. Ndikabva kubasa kunyangwe iye asvika haabude kuzotambira briefcase yangu, what does this mean?

I complained kuti handidi kuti mbatya dzangu dzigezwe nasisi, iye zvino akudziendesa kudry cleaners, hakusi kutamba nemari here uku?

Iye zvino tese tosevenza musame city but tinofamba uyu nemota yake uyu yake.

Pane zuva randakaedza kumuudza zvandisingafariri tichienda kubasa akatsamwa akati haasi mwana wechikoro anofamba achitukwa munzira, so akuenda ega kubasa kwake. Ndibatsireiwo please because I don’t understand kuti kana asingaite zvese izvi saka ndakamuroorera chii?

Kana pasina improvement I will walk out of this unhappy marriage.

RESPONSE

Thank you very much for your letter but don’t walk out on your spouse yet. I will respond to your letter without fear or favour. First and foremost you don’t demand respect, you earn it.

Mukadzi haaroorerwe kushanda, wanano ndeye companionship, kuwadzana nekudanana kudzamara rudo rwakupatsanisai.

Ini ndiri kuona kunge you are contradicting yourself, pada iwe waitsvaga mushandi ndobva waroora wakatarisira mabasa epamba saka zvave kukunetsa.

Hongu mabasa ese awataura aya anowanzoitwa navana mai, usarasike izvi zvinoitwa murudo zvichibva pasi pasi pemoyo. Please don’t get me wrong I am responding to SAKA AKAROORERWEI?

I think you should take time to see the positives in what your wife is doing. Akaendesa sisi kucourse yekubika kuti imi semhuri mudye zvakanaka, chinhu chinoyemurika wani.

Mbatya dzako ari kuendesa kudry cleaners kuti murume wake ange ari munhu akashambidzika.

Handisi kuti iye haafanire kuita izvi kana aine mukana but look at her efforts. Mudzimai wako asiyana nemunhu asina hanya anorega baba vaine tsvina.

Yekutambira bag wasvika inoenderana nehukama hwenyu, relationship yenyu inoita kuti mumhanyirane muchimbundirana here?

You need to desperately work on your relationship, once you do that everything else will fall into place.

Shamwari, kudanana hakudi ngoromera seboxing.

Tunhu twamunoona setudiki tunoita matter in love and in marriage.

You are wasting your kissing time muchingunduruka in two different cars.

Ini ndaona zvakanaka muwanano yako asi iwe uri kungotsondora. Ini zvinondityisa kuti vanhu vanoroorana kuti vagare vachitukana nekutsamwidzana. God forbid!

Last but not least don’t paint your marriage black, remember it’s only one life.

Taurai navana chipanga mazano, iyewo mudzimai wako paanenge akasununguka ngakuitire madanha ako kwete semuranda asi semudiwa, newewo yedzavo kusangopopota, itawo madanha.

Mudzimai wako akashandisa muenzaniso wemwana wechikoro aiwa kana vana vane kodzero.

Good luck.

Question: Ndakatadza here?

Makadini Mai Chisamba? Ini ndiri kurwadziwa siku nesikati nenyaya iri mumhuri medu. Ndinogara kuKwekwe nefamily yangu, mudzimai nevana vaviri. Tigere zvakanaka ndofunga munonzwa zvazvinoreva. Mukoma wangu akambogara kunze kwebasa zvikavaomera kwazvo nekuti maiguru havashande.

Vakakumbira kuti ndimbotora vana vavo kuti vapinde chikoro vari kwandiri nekuti nguva yavanga vari was badly affecting the children’s performance at school.

I spoke to my wife but she was not keen on this arrangement, all she said was zvinozonetsa mangwana izvi.

Takataurirana namukoma pachirume vana vakauya tikagara navo for three years. Vana taivabata zvakanaka, zvakafanana kunyange zvainge zvodhura. Mukoma akazowana basa asi havana kundiudza and the way he took his children back was unfair.

Vana vakaenda kuholiday and they never came back to say goodbye or thank you. I only discovered kuti mukoma vakusevenza when I phoned to check why the children had not come back.

We no longer see eye to eye, mukanzwa nyaya dzinotaurwa neveukama pamusoro pedambudziko rakasangana nevana ava panguva yandaive navo kana vanogara musango havatambure kudaro. I don’t know what to do, zvirikundipa hasha.

RESPONSE

Thank you for your letter. First and foremost let me say well done for looking after your brother’s kids, makorokoto! You are a rare breed, not many people can do this nowadays.

Kana wakachengeta vana ava nemoyo unoda, mukuwana nemukushaya wakapedza basa.

Musikavanhu anotenda zvechokwadi anokucherechedza. Don’t worry about what people say, instead inzwa kuti hana yako (conscience) iri kuti kudini.

Your brother cannot confront you because he has no case against you. Makuhwa anoparadza rudzi, iwe usazvitsvage kuti zvakabva kuvana ava here kana kuti kuhama, what goes around comes around.

Tinosangana nenhau dzakawanda dzakafanana nedzako. Vanhu vanotsvaga nhongwa, usatadze kuita zvakanaka kana kubatsira pamusana pemashoko enhando.

Kurudziro yangu ndeyekuti cool down, hasha hadziiswe mudura.

Ndinoziva kuti dzimwe nguva wavakufunga kuti dai ndakateerera mudzimai wangu, chokwadi mazano marairanwa.

Move on and forget about this.

Until Next Week, You can seek the counsel of Mai Chisamba by sending an email to:[email protected]