The Sunday Mail
“This happens each and every day in a men’s life. If a man says he has never been tempted to cheat he is lying. As long as he goes out of his home daily, he is faced with a vast temptation to do it. The desire and urge is knocking daily and persistently on his doorstep.”
There are many theories, proven and otherwise, that have been brought forward in the quest to understand the root cause and solutions to why people in relationships cheat.
I will not be judgmental on the issue for the purpose of my review of Dr AT Hwingwiri’s book “Why Men Cheat”, which is meant to inform and equip women with some knowledge about the male species.
When I got hold of the book for the first time and read the title, I was a bit angry because I asked myself why someone would write a book about men cheating as if women do not.
But the author clarifies the main thrust of his text in the introduction, stating that the book is meant for women.
The author’s aim in this book is to enlighten women and give them a better understanding of men, factors that drive them to cheat and tips on how to address the problem in order to save relationships.
Although there are several loopholes in some of his assertions, Hwingwiri should be credited for trying to clarify the characteristics of both men and women and their major needs in life.
The writer does well to use research by other scholars, and Bible verses, to buttress his assertions.
An interesting statistic in the book is that around 70 percent of married men cheat. And this is just one of the causes for concern that Hwingwiri raises.
He says every man faces the temptation of cheating on their wife.
“This happens each and every day in a men’s life. If a man says he has never been tempted to cheat he is lying. As long as he goes out of his home daily, he is faced with a vast temptation to do it.
The desire and urge is knocking daily and persistently on his doorstep.”
Hwingwiri deals with four factors in his quest to unpack why some men cheat: men related, women related, couple related and temptation related.
Some of these cover peer pressure, ego, natural desire to experiment and patriarchy that does not consider men cheating as a serious matter.
Then there are issues pertaining to women’s behaviour, such as filthiness, nagging, disrespect and denial of sex among other things.
“Why Men Cheat” contains a lot of valuable information, but after completing it I was still disappointed with the fact that the writer only chose to focus on men being the culprits. It would have been brilliant had he tried to balance things up, which would certainly cater for wider readership.
Maybe he has his reasons for targeting women.
Nonetheless, it is a good read for both men and women and should be approached with an mind.
It will, however, be easy for women to start looking at their partners with suspicion after reading this book. Some may even get depressed by some of the statistics, which is why I encourage an open mind.
