The Sunday Mail
The saying that if you want to keep a secret write it in a book was coined to mirror the current generation’s apathy towards reading. But now it seems the social media — Instagram, Facebook, Skype, Twitter and many other platforms — have resurrected the seemingly dead reading tradition to some extent.
The value of social media to its users is still subject to debate. But whilst the jury is still out on this one, it is clear that the impact of social media on today’s society has been tremendous, ranging from peer counselling and support to sharing bright (and not so bright) ideas on diverse issues confronting today’s homo sapiens.
Having said this, the social media is inflicting irreparable damages in marriages and other relationships on a daily basis. Of course we cannot blame the social media for this, it is the way it is being used that causes the damages.
It appears as though our society’s notion of not washing dirty linen in public has been thrown outside the window. The far-reaching social media is constantly allowing the public into the most private, gruesome details of individuals.
Of course, it is undeniable that social media also feeds our vanity to some extent. In addition, several real (and some armchair) psychologists have even ventured to suggest that the popularity and seeming addiction to social media is a reflection of our bankruptcy in real-time emotional attachments.
Think of the houses you visit these days where teenagers barely lift up their head when a visitor walks in, such a visitor will be lucky if they get a muttered greeting.
Spare yet another thought to an entire family seated in the same room but all latched onto one device or the other.
Given such commonplace scenarios, it is little wonder that social media bears the brunt of the blame in the continually deteriorating personal interactions within the sanctity of our homes.
Social behaviour gurus suggest that it is perhaps the breakdown of our family and social relations that the attention-seeking behaviour witnessed on social media is due to attention deficit in real life. Whether the attention is lacking from parent to child, spouse to spouse or from peers, this is a discussion for another day.
Of interest to me today is how social media, according to my good friend, has almost taken over the role of our traditional sage advisors – our aunts and uncles. With these numerous ‘‘groups’’ that tackle diverse topics- open or restricted to public consumption, social media is always abuzz with people either seeking or giving advice. Of course I am always endlessly tickled by those whose claim to fame is in not feeling the need to either agree or disagree with the topic at hand. However, these occupiers of the proverbial fence are never discouraged from writing, ‘‘following from the terraces’’.
The more I ruminated on my friend’s observation, the more I realised that in fact, this was not a far-fetched idea at all considering that I am affiliated to 11 such advisory groups on Facebook alone. It is becoming an almost sub-conscious activity to reach out for one of my gadgets, whenever time allows, to read or write about the concerns of the day on social media. Given my self-confessed reliance to these groups for advice or a good laugh, it would not be preposterous to suggest that such platforms have become a daily bread of sorts.
In today’s busy world which is no longer as socially cohesive as it used to be, who do we turn to for our distress calls? Social media does not go to sleep, thus providing an ear 24/7. When one needs practical advise on matters to do with cooking, pregnancy, marriage, mother and daughter-in-law conflicts or shopping, they find themselves turning to social media. One is always connected to a voice of reason somewhere in the cyber-optic abyss.
Nevertheless, I personally find comfort in a photo-shopped depiction of a grandmother and her laptop in the rural areas supposedly talking to a remote relative and telling them, ‘‘Aiwa handina kuenda kumunda, ndichambo gugula’’ (no I have not gone to the fields, I am on Google).
I also had my own ‘‘aha moment’’ as I remembered ‘‘Chakafukidza Dzimba Matenga” that used to air on the-then Radio 2 and the Aunt Dolly column in one of the magazines. These platforms were actually a precursor to our ‘‘groups’’ on social media. If ‘‘Chakafukidza” and Aunt Dolly gave a death blow to the Zimbabwean aunts and uncles, then social media has surely dug the grave.
I am not sure one can dismiss the importance of face-to-face interaction with a trusted relative at the touch of a button. Whilst I find considerable value in the wisdom of my aunts and uncles, I cannot see or talk to them everyday as l do with my 11 cyber aunties.
More importantly, not everyone is blessed to have someone they can turn to when they need someone to talk to due to time and circumstances.
It is in this regard that social media has aptly intervened. Whether aunts and uncles have abdicated their role or social media has usurped it, with a bit of common sense and good judgment, I think one can take pride in the role that the virtual aunts and uncles are playing to build us into the good citizens we are meant to be.
