Don’t even think about it!

08 Jun, 2014 - 00:06 0 Views
Don’t even think about it!

The Sunday Mail

Bus6

Police in Dubai use the Buggati Veyron, once the fastest car on earth

Augustine Moyo Motoring
FAST AND FURIOUS! Horsepower! Torque! Speed! Breathtaking! Thrilling! Unpredictable! That is the best way to describe last Saturday’s drag racing at Donnybrook. All roads led to Donnybrook, the most loved home of Zimbabwean motorsport.

Thumbs-up to the organisers and sponsors of the well-organised event.

Zimbabweans just love cars and the bumper crowd at Donnybrook bears testimony to this.

Motorsport is a very dangerous sport, but that didn’t deter car junkies and piston heads from attending the drag race.

I must say, on a lighter note, I made a few “bucks” betting on cars I predicted would win based on my knowledge of their engines, and fortune was on my side as every car I bet on won.

I bet on the Chevrolet Lumina V8 SS, then took the biggest gamble of my life when I bet on a BMW 335i which was racing a Mercedes-Benz CL600 V12 Bi-Turbo.

Yes, a V12 Bi-Turbo.

This was the typical biblical David and Goliath duel in the race tracks.

I have always said that the Germans’ “horsepower war” amongst themselves (BMW, Audi, Porsche and Mercedes-Benz) will never end and the Japanese certainly are not very keen in joining this war save for the daring Nissan with their GT-R and Toyota’s luxury division, Lexus, with the LFA, while the Americans are lost in a world of their own with their muscle cars, the Chevy Corvette ZR1 and Dodges, Shelbys and Ford Mustangs.

Think about it. A 3-litre six-cylinder BMW (335i) drag racing a 12-cylinder in a V-configuration, yes, you read correctly, a 12-cylinder Mercedes-Benz CL and to add insult to injury, a 5,5-litre.

As expected by anyone, the odds would be against BMW’s 335i but, hey, the track settled the debate. The BMW 335i beat the Mercedes-Benz V12 Bi-Turbo and I took the spoils. The BMW 335i is the official car that you will find with our Zimbabwe Republic Police (ZRP) traffic enforcement, Vehicle Theft Squad (VTS) and CID Homicide.

Now, surely if you think you can “run away” from the police, when you see that BMW, don’t even think about it.

I have always told those that care to listen that BMWs are built for speed and power, but die-hard Mercedes-Benz “fanatics” don’t want to agree with us BMW “fanatics”.

I perfectly understand both worlds (Mercedes-Benz and BMW) because I have owned both brands.

A few weeks ago, in this very same column where I sparked debate on whether the Mercedes-Benz S-Class was indeed the best luxury sedan in the world compared to BMW’s 7 Series and Audi’s A8, I did highlight, and I quote, “In straight-line acceleration, the BMW’s 7-series has beaten the Mercedes-Benz S-Class on several occasions despite both being rear-wheel drives”.

Not many of my column followers agreed with me. I think it is high time we agreed that Mercedes-Benz or BMW is all about taste, but when it comes to brute power on take-off, BMW rules the roost and will do so for a long time to come.

Back to Saturday’s drag race. The fact that the BMW 335i beat the Mercedes-Benz CL600 made my day. To put this into perspective, the Mercedes-Benz CL600 is a car built for advanced performance, although the AMG “Mercs” are a notch higher as far as performance is concerned. It would only take a daredevil risking their reputation to challenge a Mercedes-Benz CL600 in a drag race.

Maybe, just for argument’s sake, some would have cried foul if the CL600 had been beaten by the revered BMW M3, but this was a “standard” 335i.

By the way, “M” is for Motorsport in high performance BMWs and are manufactured by BMW subsidiary – BMW Motorsport, which was developed specifically for tuning BMWs for the racing track back then in the day.

Today, all M-badged BMWs are different from their peers as they come from the factory with modified engines, transmissions and suspension and feature aerodynamic looks not seen in any other car without the M-badge.

Ordinarily, the first impression to anyone seeing the “600” or “V12” badge on any Mercedes-Benz either in front of your vehicle or next to your vehicle is that “I wouldn’t dare take on that!”

Thumbs-up to BMW and its 335i for humiliating Mercedes-Benz again like it has always done on all other models including the BMW 750i versus Mercedes-Benz S500 (you can look for that one on YouTube). A fair drag race would have been pitting a Mercedes-Benz CL600 against the fiery V10 BMW M5 or BMW M6 and not a 335i. Still the same, it is my confidence that the M5 or M6 would have made child’s play of the Mercedes-Benz and on that I can still take one more bet.

It is about time die-hard Mercedes-Benz fans started accepting the painful truth that Mercedes-Benz cars are not built for speed but “to show off” as a status and luxury symbol.

Even if we are to start the luxury sedan (luxury not ultra-luxury) debate, the Lexus LS is a serious contender for the crown. Don’t you think it is about time we embraced a new kind of thinking that if one is not driving a Mercedes-Benz it doesn’t make them inferior?

The CL600 is a 510-horsepower 5,5-litre V12 powerplant, while the BMW 335i is the first BMW 3-series to feature a twin-turbo-charged six-cylinder, 306-horsepower engine raising the bar for BMW’s best-selling compact sedan.

Advantages of twin turbos on six-cylinders is that one turbo powers three cylinders, while the other turbo powers the other three. This is why you will find the 335i with two tailpipes on either side of the rear. This aids in the reduction turbo lag in an engine when the accelerator is stepped on and power needed.

This engine (featured for the first time in the 335i) was a game changer for the world’s best-selling compact sedan.

It was a pure expression of BMW’s engineering prowess and passion for fast cars.

The engine won accolades at the International Engine of the Year Awards in 2008, further cementing BMW 3-series’ undisputed reputation of being one of the best and quickest compact sedans.

The 335i achieved a feat that was achieved by its V10 powerplants, which were found in the M5 previous years.

Currently, the best BMW “M5” V10 is the one that is being driven by our Honourable Member of Parliament Justice Mayor Wadyajena which is to date arguably the only one in the country with butt kicking 552 horsepower.

That’s a proper high-performance M5 sedan! Hallowed be the M5! Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate Mercedes-Benz, but the truth is that BMW builds better engines.

Rolls-Royce builds engines for aircraft, yet BMW has built smooth and powerful engines for the super-luxury Rolls-Royce models like the flagship Rolls-Royce Phantom and Rolls-Royce Ghost.

Doesn’t that speak volumes of BMW engines? I have, on different occasions, witnessed the particularly notorious kombi drivers, fleeing from the police Land-Rover Defenders with the Defenders trailing from behind giving chase.

Don’t underestimate our police force with the BMW335i.

Don’t even complain why our police force deserves such brutally and mercilessly fast cars because in other countries like South Africa and Italy, the police have Lamborghini Gallardos in their fleet while Dubai police have the W16 Bugatti Veyron (The Veyron is a W16 because it has 16 cylinders in a W and a V configuration. In short, it has two V-8 engines mated into one). Surely, you can’t be a police force to reckon with if citizens have vehicles that outpace your fleet?

In conclusion, the ZRP BMW 335i or any other BMW 335i is a lethal missile, but I wonder if our cops really know the value (in terms of performance) of what they have in their fleet.

To date, the 335i is one of the most agile sport sedans in its class. The BMW 335i is the best car to date that the ZRP has ever had in its fleet.

On a lighter note, to all the guys out there that would like a free ride to the nearest police station in the ZRP BMW 335i, just shave your head, put on a white garment and surrender yourself to the nearest ZRP BMW335i you will come across and tell them that you are the wanted Madzibaba Ishmael Mufani, leader of the “notorious” Budiriro sect that attacked the police, some journalists and ACCZ officials a fortnight ago.
I am sure you will be quickly whisked away to the CID Law and Order Section in movie-style speed in the BMW 335i.

When you are stopped by law enforcement agents with a ZRP BMW 335i and you think of fleeing from it, just a word of advice, whether you drive a Mercedes-Benz V12 or any V8 make or V6 make: Just forget it!

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