The Sunday Mail
Final Say
And so another week has gone by and wasn’t it a cracker of a week in all things media and then some!
The first story that really caught my attention would no doubt be the DNA fiasco between Alick Macheso and his erstwhile wife Tafadzwa Mapako.
There was a new twist, and this is just when one thought the story had finally been put to rest, what with the results and all. And doesn’t the dispute bring shades of an episode from yesteryear soapies like “Santa Barbra” and “Sunset Beach”?
Those from the old school know what I’m talking about.
If a DNA test was not enough to convince Macheso, then what will? Now the master of bass says the results were rigged – please!
Next he will request that true to the treatment accorded lab rats, the bloody kids should be dissected and every inch of their bodies analysed to establish if they have the true blue blood of the King of Sungura.
It’s not surprising that the Gender Column in The Herald also dug a bit into the flesh of the bassist, warning him to accept the results and cough up. There is no such thing as a free lunch and what Tafadzwa served has resulted in him having to pay even for the leftovers!
Big Baby Mahachi
Yours Truly found it absolutely humorous that Harare City Council Town Clerk Tendai Mahachi apparently turned back the hands of time, literally, to Eto’oise his birth records.
Just to assist the masses, Eto’oisation is the act of altering one’s birth records, Samuel Eto’o style, and claim to be younger than you truly are.
This is the gospel according to Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho.
Mahachi wanted so much to hold on to the job and not be retired that he felt it necessary to Eto’oise! One can just imagine the fellow coming to the office with a baby bib, woollen baby shoes and a bottle of formula milk just to drive his point home.
However, Tendai “Eto’o” Mahachi is a lucky man, as it seems he may just go unpunished for his alleged little deception, but the city council will probably need a new “striker” next year.
While Eto’o leaves Chelsea, Tendai may have to bid au revoir to Harare City Council.
Chinamasa bellows!
Cde Patrick Chinamasa was in the media too, and boy was he angry. He thinks that there is way too much attention on flimsy issues while real bread and butter matters are being neglected.
To be honest, I totally agree.
The whole succession issue fixation by the media and the nation has left those expecting at least a morsel on their table staring at an empty plate.
For starters, the succession nonsense was not contained anywhere in Zim-Asset or in the election manifesto of the ruling party in the run-up to last year’s elections.
It is refreshing for a second to hear a senior official not blabber about threats to “expose what you do in your bedrooms” and rather focus on issues to do with national development.
Kudos!
Eat what you “hunt”
Still on matters financial, there was some chap called Gershem Pasi crying to all with ears that all money should come to his coffers and not anywhere else.
It seems Erich Bloch, yes that economist whose “best before” tag is circa 1994 when he was fighting Charles Chikerema over The Sunday Mail semantics, came out in support of Gershem!
I would never have thought I would agree with NewsDay and Erich in one fell swoop, but isn’t that the truth?
The police cannot take undisclosed amounts from the public, neither can Zinara take toll fees and not remit them to the fellows who supply Treasury. Come end of month they all want salaries from the people they don’t help.
A word of advice, Gershem, those chaps should hand you the money (and not leave some of it in cans far from the roadside) and if not, they should just pay themselves from the money they take from us.
It’s called “eat what you hunt”.
The grand divorce
Macheso isn’t the only fellow paying gupuro, as Morgan Tsvangirai officially sent his 10 cent coin to Tendai Biti.
Now he wants all MDC-T assets.
This is what happens when love goes sour!
Wonder if Tsvangirai will also demand paternity tests for some of the offspring of their dirty union? Who really fathered sanctions against the nation, for example, or will that child remain a legacy and the proud offspring of Morgan?
Will he (either one of them) demand DNA tests and claim the horrible kid called “Sanctions” isn’t his?
It’s gonna get messy and chances are the results will be rigged.
That’s Morgan catchphrase!
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