The Sunday Mail
Tinashe Zinyemba
WITH each passing season, I am continuously amazed by how God works and how life moves.Generally there are three forces at play in life: it could be God who is working in your life; it could be the devil; or just life happening as normal. Wisdom is knowing which one is at play. For example if your health is not good, it might not be the devil but rather that you need to start eating right and exercising. If things are not going well for you it might not be God teaching something but maybe the work of the devil.
It is essential for us to be balanced in all we do and to approach life with an open mind. Today, the young people are blessed because we are living in the information age in which you can literally travel the world on your cellphone. Embrace this season and use it to enhance your skills and to become a better person. In the previous instalment we dealt with the process of getting married as a believer. This was prompted by the numerous questions that we have encountered regarding how and why a Christian should get married bearing in mind the African cultural background.
I gave a guideline as to the three stages that any Christian should fulfil, namely the cultural, legal and spiritual stages. Some people do not go for all three. Our encouragement is that you do your best to fulfil each stage to the best of your ability without compromising your values. Another challenge is the belief that one has to have a very big and expensive wedding. That does not have to be the case at all. We have couples that have a world class wedding but a sub-standard marriage. Young people get into debt and compete against one another yet all of this is totally unnecessary. Work within your means and focus more on your marriage rather than just the wedding day.
That does not mean that the wedding day is not important however. Contrary to many beliefs, marriage is not a contract where people put in 50-50 to make a whole. Rather it is a covenant whereby each person puts in 100 percent of who they are until death parts them. There are different types of covenants if you look at the Scriptures. For example we have the salt covenant, priestly covenant, Davidic and Noahic Covenants etcetera, each one with a unique placement. Marriage is a blood covenant which is the highest level of covenant that any human being can enter into. This is why it is important for young people to enter into it with the right mind-set and with adequate preparation. Genesis 2:23 says: “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
This is a clear indication of how serious the bond of marriage is. A covenant is basically characterised by three elements. We have what is known as the vow of the covenant, we have the sign or seal of the covenant, and finally we have the blood of the covenant. In the case of marriage, the vow of the covenant are the vows that the two people exchange at the altar. Now if you have not had a ceremony to authenticate your wedding it means that the terms of your covenant are not very clear from the onset and one party cannot be held accountable to the full terms of the covenant.
This is why there have to be witnesses present so that they can hear and bear witness that what an individual says is not being said while under duress and that they fully understand what they are saying. In the event of going to court alone the vows are not tailor made for a spiritual covenant and the words mentioned may not capture the true essence of the values of Christianity and ultimately God’s original intent for man and marriage.
The seal or sign of the covenant in marriage is universally a ring. That both the man and the woman wear on their left hand on the second finger. The ring is not the marriage but just a sign that a person is in covenant with someone. In ancient times people would actually scare themselves with a knife or a sharp object. When the wound would heal a nasty scar would remain which would act as a sign that you are in covenant with someone. So you can remove the ring but that does not mean that you are no longer in covenant.
You can wear the ring without the ceremony but the ceremony will give the ring more weight as there will be witnesses present to be able to hold you accountable to the vows and the symbol of the ring. Finally we have the blood of the covenant. Again in ancient days when individuals were getting into blood covenants they would slit their wrists or fore fingers (the right hand) and mix their blood together.
Some would drink it with wine whilst some would rub the wounds together thereby mingling their blood together indicating that they are now blood brothers. In the case of marriage, the blood of the covenant is when the couple consummates their marriage on their wedding night. That then becomes the mingling of the blood to form one flesh. Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”This results in a soul tie and the two are now one.
Much more can be said but I pray and hope that we are shedding light one way or the other. It is important that young people realise the importance of the marriage union, and the need to enter into it the right way.God builds strong nations through strong families and strong families are built by strong God fearing people. Every young man and woman has a right to get married and it is essential that you do so understanding that you have a responsibility to your family, nation, and ultimately to yourself to do it right.
Time and space limit me but next time we want to look at how young people can prepare for marriage. Till next time take care and God bless.
Tinashe Zinyemba is a pastor with New Life Covenant Church. Feedback at [email protected]
