The Sunday Mail
I am living in hell and I do not know what to do or who to tell. For more than a decade my husband and I were happy and blessed with three kids – two boys and a girl. We are a respected couple at the Church, my husband holds many posts.
I employed a maid who worked so well and I even called her mainini and everyone followed suit. She kept my house smart and she was a very good cook.
Relatives from both sides of the family spoke highly of her. She was a good worker and in my heart of hearts I always said dai sisi vakawana a good husband.
I convinced my husband and we enrolled her for night school. She passed her A-Level with flying colours, half the people in our community thought we were blood sisters.
After this I noticed that sisi had fallen pregnant I told my husband and he looked quite disturbed. We agreed not to fire the maid until she was ready to go of her own free will. I probed and probed but mainini would not disclose chikomba chavo.
I got the shock of my life when she summoned us nababa one night achiti anoda kutaura nesu. Chikomba was my husband and he intended on taking her to be his second wife.
As I write to you she is an official wife who stays in the spare bedroom and now has two children. It seems like people from my husband’s side knew about this. It is so embarrassing I want to opt out of this marriage, my children are grown. I initially stayed on because I wanted to put my kids through school in spite of this disaster.
I am heartbroken, my happiness was destroyed by someone I trusted. It is so humiliating kuparikwa nemaid yako munhu. How do I get my life back? I feel so angry and miserable. Who can you really trust in this life? Please help I just cannot make head from tail, ngavasare vachigarika havo.
Response
I am very saddened by your letter. I understand how you feel it is terrible to be let down by someone you trust. They made a fool of you. You treated her as a sister and made sure she got educated then she turns around and does this.
They are both to blame because at least one of them should have resisted this temptation. I do not want you to make a decision when you are as angry as you are because you might regret it. I suggest you go for professional counselling and pour out to someone you trust.
I do not recommend seeking advice from family members as you said some knew about this but said nothing.
Sometimes it is not easy for people to tell you things because they will be based on suspicion. Marriage is about you and your spouse. Children are gifts from God but not the reason for the marriage.
Why did you not use the law to protect yourself? What kind of marriage do you have in the eyes of the law? Contact me after counselling let me know if you feel better or not. If there is no change we may need to come up with an alternate plan.
I do not understand what Church is about when leaders behave this way. Your husband took advantage of the maid. How old was the maid? If she was under 18 when this happened your husband must be brought to book. Pray for God’s intervention and pray for your kids, I wish you well.
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