The Sunday Mail
I am a big fan of your column, I just love it. Mine is a small but disturbing observation. I am a married woman blessed with four kids, so far so good. We normally work together with my husband. This Christmas we bought groceries for our two families. We spent the same amount on the groceries but they were slightly different, basing on our parents’ needs. His brother came up to pick the box for my in-laws but I was surprised to see that my husband had added an extra box without telling me. I asked him to do so for my parents but akati haasisina mari. I am so disappointed, I feel like boycotting the New Year cruise he had planned with our friends. I work and contribute to the family budget and I cannot just watch while my family is being short changed. Mai Chisamba, is this fair? Hapana asina kuzvarwa. I am just fed up please help.
Response
Thank you big fan for writing in. Your observation is indeed very small and I think you are overreacting. The good book says “your people shall be my people” and you complain about an extra box of groceries to your mother in-law, vasikana tisadaro kani. How much is that? This attitude of always complaining is not healthy. I can tell from the way you expressed yourself that even if your hubby had told you he was going to do this you would decline. This is Christmas, the spirit of giving is in the air but you remain tight-fisted, mai mwana kuomera hakuvake musha. You do not need to be like business partners, always taking stock. You are life partners, lovers and friends at heart. Give each other room to address family issues if need be without clearance from the other spouse, of course, everything should be transparent. Big fan if truth be told, you are being childish. You want your parents to get an extra box too, why? Why can’t this be done some other time when you have prepared for it? You want to boycott a cruise because of such a petty issue, inga vamwe varikutochemera kuti hatimbofambwa nesu. Please be loveable and enjoy your marriage. My advice is say sorry to your hubby. Marriage is not about competition if you still talk about kwangu and kwake then you are in the wrong game. After four kids you should be mature enough to know. I agree hapana asina kuzvarwa we should be there for our families and friends but in the process we should not destroy ourselves. There is nothing to be disappointed about, let it go and go enjoy the cruise. Zvamuri kutamba nazvo vasikana vamwe vari kutoita zvekurota. Hang on to what you have got. I wish you all the best.
