The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi
Having been avoiding bachelor’s parties for a while due to increasingly uncouth behaviour and the various negatives associated with such gatherings, I found myself at one such event last Sunday.
Bachelors’ parties are regarded as the “last feast of a vulture”, where drunkenness, lewd behaviour and coarse language are the order of the day.
Former girlfriends and hired strippers of the groom are invited for one last dance.
But they are not all bad. The same goes for kitchen parties, which are commonly associated with sexually suggestive discussions and games.
With the involvement of religious leaders in these functions, there is more decorum. These can be solid foundations for lasting marriages where sound advice and Bible verses replace sexually suggestive acts and crude language.
“We cannot gather to tell anyone about sex or reproductive life these days where everything can be accessed free on the internet,” said an elder at the bachelor’s party I attended.
“Secondly, due to time, some of the sexual counsel we received in the 1980s when we got married cannot help someone getting married today in an environment where females have been empowered.
“Women used to be regarded as subjects of their husbands. The wise counsel of yesteryear elders will dwell much on emphasising that true man must be feared by their wives, treated like monsters by children and so forth,” he added.
“The same applies to kitchen party gatherings; it’s a waste of time asking old grandmothers to come and teach today’s girl child bedroom tips of 1970s when they are accessing all the information on the Internet.”
When the right people are invited, bachelor’s parties can be worthwhile events that serve to build lasting marriages rather than them merely being an excuse for the groom and his buddies to get drunk and reinforce the kind of behaviour that haunts many unions todays.
Invite your real friends — people who genuinely want to see you enter a new phase of your life with hope and joy.
Invite church leaders (if you are religiously inclined) who can give you wise counsel.
Invite married men who — though we accept that all marriages are different — can share their experiences.
Yes, it is important to have fun, but these parties should not be misconstrued as an orgy.
That said, enjoy your bachelor’s party as a celebration of the new family you are about to create.
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