Captain Fiasco scores for Zanu PF

19 Mar, 2017 - 00:03 0 Views
Captain Fiasco scores for  Zanu PF Chiyangwa

The Sunday Mail

The Sharp Shooter Vukani Madoda
Hate, despise and loathe him.

But when you go to sleep, visit the bathroom or come from church, you have no choice but to love and admire him.

Cde Phillip “Captain Fiasco” Chiyangwa is a flamboyant character — in business, social circles, politics and lately sport.

Here is a colourful and enigmatic personality who entered the football administration fray not too long ago and before you know it, he was Zifa President.

In the next rung, he became Cosafa President.

As we were still wondering what he was on about, he invites a high powered Fifa delegation to his birthday party which attracted a notice of disciplinary hearing from the then Caf President Issa Hayatou.

Being the Captain Fiasco that he is, Hayatou could not intimidate him and so last week the former became the election commissar of Ahmed Ahmed who was competing against the long serving Hayatou for the Caf presidency.

As you might already know Hayatou was humiliated by 34 votes to 20 in Addis Ababa while seeking an eight term as Caf President.

He had been in power for 29 years. Here is a fellow who had enjoyed unopposed reign of power since 1988.

On the only two occasions that he was challenged in 2000, he embarrassed Angola’s Armando Machado by 47 votes to 4 and four years later he defeated Ismail Bhamjee of Botswana by 46 votes to 6 as southern Africa battled to wrangle the reigns of African football administration from the west Africa.

But come 2017 and in comes Captain Fiasco as Ahmed Ahmed’s campaign manager and southern Africa finally claims victory.

Of course, many would want to know what does this have to do with the politics of Zimbabwe, with the ruling party Zanu PF, the opposition including MDC and its many suffixes.

Here is the catch. Following last week’s victory by Ahmed in which Captain Fiasco was in the thick of things, not a single observer or media outlet has claimed that the elections were rigged, not one.

Even though the opposition in Zimbabwe is often obsessed with blaming Zanu PF for electoral fraud and rigging, when it came to elections on the continental stage, Zanu PF sent its very own son Captain Fiasco to grab the victory.

Following that victory, there has not been a single complaint about electoral irregularities or so-called Nikuv projects.

Captain Fiasco simply ensured a clean victory for Ahmed for southern Africa and for Zanu PF.

He showed the world just how Zanu PF has been winning election after election by simply winning the hearts and minds of the voters.

There is nothing sacred about the success of Zanu PF’s election victories, there is nothing mysterious or irregular. Everything is always strategic.

Zimbabwe’s opposition clowns would do well to learn a thing or two about how Zanu PF wins its elections and stop this nonsense of saying elections are rigged, people are coerced and beaten and blah, blah, blah.

When it comes to elections, being a cry baby simply does not fly.

What is needed is an election campaign strategy, a great manifesto and ideology.

The opposition must learn to appeal to the people. They must learn to understand what the electorate holds dear in their hearts and minds rather than telling the world that they are simply going into an election to get rid of Zanu PF.

We hear of coalitions with one mission — to remove Zanu PF from power. After removing Zanu PF and then what? What do you have to offer as a coalition?

There is no strategy whatsoever in the unlikely event that Zimbabwe wakes up one day to country not led by Zanu PF.

All we know is there is something called Code or Coalition of Democrats which is filled with political losers such as the Biti’s, Dabengwa’s and Welshmen’s of this world while on the other hand yet another coalition is brewing of after Joice Mujuru has offered her National People’s Party to sleep with Tsvangirai’s MDC.

It never ceases to amaze me or anyone who cares to be politically rational, how two coalitions with a seemingly similar agenda decide to separately push their election strategies.

No there is not coalition to talk about. It is just greed. There is greed amongst the opposition camp. Greed so filthy that it stints to high heavens such that even deceased voters can smell the stench of such political gluttony.

Yes indeed, it has taken Captain Fiasco for the world to realise that Zanu PF does not and has never rigged elections.

Zanu PF simply oozes with charm and charisma. In fact, it is in Zanu PF that you find the finest politician in Africa and this is why when there is no credible opposition in Zimbabwe, Zanu PF appears to fight amongst themselves.

You hear of Team Lacoste, G40 and so on simply because there is no better opponent in the country, let alone the continent.

Do not be fooled, Lacoste and G40 are simply training grounds for Zanu PF to keep its political mind active because there is no one worthy of opposition and every politician should never forget that there is always an opposition to their philosophy.

But like I have always said, on the grand stage there is nothing like Lacoste or G40, there is simply Zanu PF. Thank you Captain Fiasco for scoring for Zanu PF. Now the world will know that the rumblings of an over-ambitious opposition do not bother Zanu PF.

An opposition that has fed fat from Zanu PF policies such as Command Agriculture and Command Economy. Indeed and opposition that begins to think they can fight against their chi — their personal god — as the Nigerians aptly put it.

As it stands, everybody knows it is a fiasco in the opposition.

Zanu PF will remain the captain of this country until the revolution comes full swing to its logical conclusion. — Dubulaizitha!

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