BRIDAL: The Three Wise Men at a wedding

26 Apr, 2015 - 00:04 0 Views

The Sunday Mail

Tafadzwa Zimoyo – Bridal Writer

WHEN James Muvengwa was asked by his long-time friend to be the best man at his wedding, he had mixed feelings about it. He did not know whether to be excited or to decline the offer.

One thing that James did not want to openly admit to his friend was that he did not actually know the roles of a best man at a wedding. Although he has been to many weddings before, he had never bothered to learn about the actual roles of the best man.

This raises the question of the roles of people like the best man, the groom’s father and the groom himself at a wedding, otherwise known as the “Three Wise Men”.

These three play their different roles in order to bring the best out of the wedding. While some might feel that the father of the bride also plays an important role – his is just limited to giving the bride away and nothing else.

A friend who recently wedded, Andrew Chigudu of Mainway Meadows, Harare, said when he walked down the aisle with his bride, he knew that his position as the groom had to be one of an exemplary man, who strikes an impressive picture before the crowd.

“As a groom, you should be that replica of a loving, caring and concerned husband and this is the reason why you should always be by your bride’s side. You should be in a position to usher her wherever she wants to go and you be that gentleman, the prince in shining armour, so to speak,” he said.

Chigudu said as a groom, one’s actions before the people should prove that you are always prepared to stand by her side, no matter what.

“This is what the rings and vows you exchange symbolise, that you are now one flesh, and as the man, you are now your lady’s protector,” he said.

Although the day belongs to the groom and his bride, it is, however, the best man who has a bigger role to play at the wedding. Normally, the best man is someone who is close to the groom, say, his best friend, and as such, his role, in short, is to take off weight from the groom’s shoulders.

“The best man is responsible for most of the planning, be it before, during and after the wedding. This makes the job easier for the groom as he has to focus on other things,” explained Silence Murehwa of Chitungwiza.

The best man’s role starts with helping the groom in choosing the best suit to wear at the wedding, booking for venues, and during the wedding, he makes sure the day progresses as planned.

He is the one who sees to it that invited guests are comfortable. He also runs around organising the reception and makes sure that no glitches occur.

He is also one of the witnesses who sign the marriage licence.

After the wedding, there is the after-party that normally takes place at home and this is another area where the best man comes in.

“True to the meaning of ‘true friendship’, the best man should always be handy by playing roles that the groom cannot perform at a wedding. In our culture, such a person — sahwira — plays the roles that lessen the burden for his friend at functions like weddings or during funerals or in the presence of his in-laws. So in a big way, he is the driver of the wedding,” said Murehwa.

While the best man runs around and the groom occupies the central position at the wedding, the groom’s father is the father figure, the dignified epitome of what the groom ought to be.

“The groom’s father is the centre of wisdom around which everything to do with good living and how to keep marriages intact revolves around. This is the reason why the groom’s father is given his time to speak at length and in his speech advises the newly-weds about the importance of keeping their vows and living a blissful life devoid of friction,” noted Mai Mazonde of Hatfield, Harare.

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