The Sunday Mail
This Bishop is not in the business of sanitising tomfoolery but just a quick suggestion. Someone has to keep the little puppies in the kennel. They are farting all over the place
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Bishop Lazarus – COMMUNION
Let me begin by reciting the Fable of the Cockerels to hammer the gospel home since we live in the farmland that the living legend from Zvimba inspired us to fight for. As a Bishop, many would expect me to preach using parables, but no dear reader, I am a Bishop with some background. For now we stick to the fables.
I have (and proudly so) what youngsters of today would call a SRB meaning Strong Rural Background and naturally, farming folk stories are a big fascination. You see, dear reader, we seem to have too many cockerels in the revolutionary party and this fable perfectly suits this sermon.
There goes the fable: Once upon a time there was a farmer who was a champion breeder of fighter cockerels. Year in and year out, the farmerai??i??s cockerels won trophies for the farmer in various categories of competitions.
One year after scooping all the prizes, the farmer decided to take his cockerels for a treat.
He planned to go to a resort where he was going to proudly show off his winning cockerels and their trophies.
The cockerels were to be kept in an air conditioned environment with automatic feeding and drinking facilities. Their only task was to eat, drink, play and sleep ai??i?? all this as a reward for a job well done.
The farmer prepared one large air conditioned cage and put all his winning cockerels therein, closed the door to the cage and hooked it onto his car. He travelled several kilometres and when he was about to reach his destination, he decided to park by a lay-bye to check on his champion cockerels.
He opened the cage and to his horror, surprise and disappointment, he found out that his champion cockerels had torn each other to death.
With blood and ghastly wounds all over their necks, the champion cockerels had turned against each other in an effort to demonstrate which one of them was a greater fighter than all, a routine they had been used to during the numerous competitions.
On seeing this, the farmer shook his head and said: ai???If only my champion fighter cockerels knew that they belonged to the same owner and stood to please the same principal individually and collective, then they would not have fought and killed each other in this manner.
ai???They should have cultivated friendship instead of enmity and I would now be showing them off as the pride of my lifeai??i??s achievement. Instead, I will now suffer the embarrassment of looking for an incinerator to burn their carcasses that are not even fit for human consumption. Damn it!ai???
What are the moral lessons from this fable? Who are the cockerels tearing each other apart? Well, this past week, two cockerels from the ruling party gave us some drama and they did so without any shame.
Towards the end of the week, another joker of a cockerel joined the drama. More of this joker much later.
They donai??i??t call him Tyson for nothing. Cde Saviour Kasukuwere, the new man in the Ministry of Local Government, Public Works and National Housing is doing what Dr Ignatius Chombo was hesitating to do. In case you havenai??i??t noticed ai??i?? the vendors are on the run and Tyson is hot on their heels. Go Tyson go!
Just like he did while at the Youth, Indigenisation and Economic Empowerment Ministry, Tyson is showing that when given a task, he executes it with vigour and urgency.
Yes, mistakes will be made in the process but for Tyson, the end justifies the means.
The clean-up of the clean-up will be another chapter in the future.
For now, the vendors and the usually cool Mayor Bernard Manyenyeni are running like mad with Tyson cracking the whip.
ai???Councils must shape up or ship out. If the council does not clean the town, I will clean the Town House,ai??? declared Tyson. Tough talk! I have been a Bishop long enough to know that Tyson is not joking. Foreign-owned companies tried to play political games when Tyson was given the task to put indigenisation into motion and he whipped them into line. In no time, the talk had changed from ai???no to indigenisationai??? to ai???we are not resisting, just give us time.ai??? Of course, quite a number of mistakes were made but that was not for Tyson to worry about.
So yes, the vendors for now are saying ai???hatibve mustreet zvekumhanyaai??? but soon they will be singing a very positive tune because Tyson has no time to waste dilly-dallying in petty politics.
But then there was a sideshow to this Tyson-vendor chase show. So unfortunate, but the cockerels were at each otherai??i??s throat.
Tyson last week appeared before the Parliamentary Portfolio Committee on Youth, Indigenisation and Economic Empowerment and there he came face to face with one Justice Mayor Wadyajena who was clearly in an uncompromising mood. Cde Wadyajena who is the chairman of this portfolio committee was in a combative mood, but then Tyson being Tyson, he decided to give those present a free blow by blow verbal exchange.
Cde Wadyajena was trying to make Cde Kasukuwere give oral evidence on the circumstances surrounding the establishment of the Zimunya-Marange Community Share Ownership Trust, but things took a cockerel twist.
The portfolio chairman started the cockerel twist saying the investigations by the committee were not a witch-hunt but Tyson was not ready for any pampering of the truth. Lets rewind and enjoy.
ai???I think its a big witch-hunt. A misplaced one,ai??? Cde Kasukuwere thundered.
Cde Wadyajena was taken aback but he quickly gained his composure and asked how this was a man-hunt.
ai???Mr Chairman, you have been very careless, I have recordings of your own discussion with journalists. I have recordings of your own self speaking on television and trying to impute that there has been corruption. We respect this committee, we respect Parliament but this institution must never be used for political grandstanding. We must take each other seriously,ai??? said Tyson. Oooppps, that was one hell of a blow, but Cde Wadyajena was ready.
ai???Honourable Minister if you have any recordings there are authorities where you can take them to. You are free to take them anywhere, I wonai??i??t be intimidated . . . Honourable Minister whether you say I have abused my position or what, I will not entertain that. May you please behave yourself,ai??? said a stinging Cde Wadyajena.
ai???Of course I still feel and strongly believe that witch-hunts are part and parcel of what you are doing but in a way that is part of youthful exuberance,ai??? said Tyson.
Cde Wadyajena came with a sucker punch.
ai???Honourable Minister are you an animal that can be hunted? I doubt! I am just doing my job. May you please allow me to do my job.ai??? Oooppsss!
The cockerel twist went on and on dear reader. Itai??i??s up to you dear reader to judge who won the verbal contest but what is obvious is that nothing substantive and progressive came out of that exchange. Just two cockerels tearing each other apart.
As the two cockerels were devouring each other, different factional messages were emitted from their fight. Reminds your Bishop of the President a few weeks ago warning of another gamatox in the making.
At least Tyson and the chairman have come out in the open. Many other cowardly cockerels are fighting behind closed doors.
Maybe this is what happens when the ruling party has no better opposition to fight.
The cockerels turn against each other.
There is something stinking to the high heavens. Zanu-PF beware!
When the President returns from New York, wonai??i??t he like that farmer find the cockerels dead and say; ai???Damn it Tyson! Damn it chairman! Why fight instead of working for the people?ai???
And like a bolt from the blue, one Energy Mutodi who is supposed to be Zanu-PF and who has made his support for Vice-President Mnangagwa an open secret, made himself the laughing stock ranting and raving about the recent Cabinet reshuffle.
This Bishop is not in the business of sanitising tomfoolery but just a quick suggestion. Someone has to keep the little puppies in the kennel.
They are farting all over the place. Itai??i??s really not nice even for the owner.
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